Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

[Jennie wren]

Hi guys

My son is due to be a dad any day now, she is due on Saturday. However, he seperated from his ex after 9 months but before she found out she was pregnant.

During the relationship she was violent to him, ruling of him, she alienated all his friends and tried with his family(which didnt work!) and she told so many lies, i'm sure she wouldnt know the difference between reality & fantasy land!

Anyway, during the time she has been seperated from him, she has harrassed him, his family, his friends....he has had no peace! And she has told him that he might not be the dad and he could be 1 of 3 possibilities(although my gut tells me she is doing that to get at him). This, as you can imagine, is tearing him up inside. He doesnt know what his rights will be and, most of all he says he feels he wont be able to have anything to do with the baby (if he is indeed the dad) because of the way his ex has been. We have been threatened and verbally abused by her & her mother.

So in a nutshell, what he needs to know is how does he get her to do a DNA test? Can he take action to make her have one?

If he is the babys dad, how does he get his name on the birth certificate?

If his name is not on the birth certificate does this mean he has no parental rights?

And how does he go about getting access to a child where he will suffer abuse every time he tries to visit?

Thanks
Jennie

[joyjoe]

Re: Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

Hi Jenny
My advice would be to go and see a solicitor who practises family law. Getting access will be a whole lot easier if you do. It wont be easy and it will take a long while even with a solicitor which is why I am going to ask you if all is lost between your son and his ex. These things always work best when the two people involved try to remain friends. Extended family also. I have always gotten along with my daughter-in-laws and it hasn't always been easy. Could you try to mend bridges? I hope everything works out for you and your son.
Joy

[joyjoe]

Re: Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

Jenny just a thought, try Fathers 4 Justice. They may be able to give you some help and advice.
Joy

[CleverClogs]

Re: Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

So in a nutshell, what he needs to know is how does he get her to do a DNA test? Can he take action to make her have one?

I dare say that someone will come up with something better, but why doesn't he try an action of debtinue against the doxy, demanding that she surrender his DNA which is currently in her bailment?

[Jennie wren]

Re: Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

Thanks Joy, I think its passed fixing tbh, we tried & tried to stay civil but they just werent having it, and his ex's idea of him seeing the baby is going to the zoo together. It became intolerable for him. I'm half expecting him to get a call from Jeremy Kyle soon.lol

[Jennie wren]

Re: Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

Hi cleverclogs,
Erm, what does that mean exactly?

[CleverClogs]

Re: Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

his ex's idea of him seeing the baby is going to the zoo together.

Whilst certainly appropriate, it might not be entirely wise.

The keepers of the primate house might suspect him of stealing two of their animals.

[CleverClogs]

Re: Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

Hi cleverclogs,
Erm, what does that mean exactly?

Concisely, it means he wants all of his "little soldiers" back, together with any copies made.

[joyjoe]

Re: Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

Hi Jennie'
been thinking ,you can apply to the courts for a paternity test. As far as I am aware the court can make your son's ex have one. Once it has been proved your son is the father he will have rights, but not as many as the mother and not without a lengthy battle through the courts. Its not for the weak hearted.

Secondly you say both the ex and the mother have verbally threatened you. I would start keeping a record of their behaviour. Dont let them know you are doing this. If you send any communication keep a record and finally do not, on any account, get sucked into their bad behaviour.. Its hard but try to remain aloof. Try sending a letter to the ex from your son. Within the letter tell your son to open his heart, tell her of his feelings towards his unborn child. Offer support,explain he wants to be part of the child's life and see what response you get back. Keep a copy of this letter to show the court and any response you get back from the ex.

With regard to the birth certificate I am not sure your son has any right to have his name on the child's birth certificate. This usually requires the mother’s consent (and if the mother doesn’t consent, you will need to go for a Parental Responsibility Order through the courts.

It hard work Jennie and you need to tell your son it will not be sorted out quickly.

I have a grandaughter I call jenni-wren!!!!
Best Wishes
Joy

[CleverClogs]

Re: Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

I dare say I've missed something, but why does Jennie's son wish to be in hock to that strumpet?

[joyjoe]

Re: Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

I dare say I've missed something, but why does Jennie's son wish to be in hock to that strumpet?

I think the son wants to be a father to the unborn child, or thats my understanding and the ex is making it as excrutiating as possible (girl power). Maybe I have read it wrong. The poster is looking for help in getting her son some rights regarding the child when it is born.
joy

[SpringerSpaniel]

Re: Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

If the CSA are involved, they will get in touch with him and a paternity test cna be arranged by them, if he is not the dad the cost of the test is refunded to him.

There is another thread on the Forums about a dad's rights re a young infant / unborn child, which would apply to your son too.

[CleverClogs]

Re: Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

I think the son wants to be a father to the unborn child, or thats my understanding and the ex is making it as excrutiating as possible (girl power). Maybe I have read it wrong. The poster is looking for help in getting her son some rights regarding the child when it is born.

However much the trollop might make it difficult for the presumed father(s) to have any contact with the bairn, one may be certain that she will gladly accede to the father(s) paying a lot for a few past moments of unprotected rumpy-pumpy.

[Jennie wren]

Re: Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

I think the son wants to be a father to the unborn child, or thats my understanding and the ex is making it as excrutiating as possible (girl power). Maybe I have read it wrong. The poster is looking for help in getting her son some rights regarding the child when it is born.
joy

Thats exactly it Joy. If the baby, which we know is a boy, is his, he wants to be there for him. I would like nothing more than for him to contact 'F' but (and this wasnt easy for him to admit) he is afraid of what she might do. He was a victim of domestic violence & emotional abuse in their relationship but she always made him feel like it was his fault. I didnt know it was going on at first until she punched him in the mouth & split his lip one time, HE was the one apologising to HER. I asked him why he was apologising to her, thinking he had done something to her first. It turned out that he had done nothing to provoke the attack but but still thought it was his own fault, that he deserved it! A lot transpired from there, he tried to end it a few times but she got violent each time and he ended up staying with her until one day he literally packed his stuff & left his own home! So, as well as not knowing his rights as a dad, he is worried about how he is going to be protected from this when the baby comes and how he is going to protect the child from witnessing such things should they arise. He cannot see at the moment how he is going to manage the situation.

[charitynjw]

Re: Son due to be a dad......or maybe not?

What a lovely mum you are, Jennie!

I hope it all works out for your son.