Father with Residence Order, mother playing games, advice needed

[HisDad]

Hi all
First time post on here, wanting a little bit of advice if possible.
I don't currently have a solicitor, btw. (I have my reasons)

First off, a little bit of background.

A year after my son was born, his mother and I split up, we were not married and my son was born in 2001. After we broke up, she spent time in a Mental Hospital, has had 20+ different jobs, has been homeless and has had 20+ different addresses, plus many ever changing partners. She has dissapeared for months at a time frequently and seem only to want to argue with me arther tha form a relationship with her son.

I have a Residence Order, she has weekend contact through the latest in a long line of Contact Orders. All of which she has previously breached - causing the Court motions to start up again so she can regain access to her son.

Her history is one of constant lying. She lied when we were together (she said she couldn't get pregnant due to an hysterectomy for example) and she lied her way through all of our Court altercation, accusing me of many ridiculus things.

Recently, she sent me a letter through a solicitor saying I have been ignoring the latest Contact Order by changing the details of her contact without her consent. She also took the opportunity to accuse me of a few other things that she'd made up. The letter threatened to take me to Court to have the Order "enforced"

I responded to the letter, detailing exactly how I have also consulted her about required changes and gave a detailed explanation about why she was obviously lying again. I also detailed the many instances where she herself had broken the Court Order by not actually showing up for Contact

Today, I had a reply and I'm not sure my best course of action, which is where some advice would be appreciated.

The letter states that she considers 90% of my reply to be "fabrication" and that she can prove I am lying. However, the letter says she will not prove I am lying because we may one day end up in court about this and she'll prove it there, instead. I see this as a bluff - as she can't dissprove a truth, can she?

The letter offers Mediation as a way out of the situation. I have once previously refused to attend because I thought it would be a waste of time given her history of lies.

Anyway, I'm not sure what to do right now. Last time I refused Mediation, we ended up back in Court to make changes to the Contact Order. This is something I desperately want to avoid as her original letter mentioned nothing about changing the Order, only that I wasn't to ignore it.

So I see my options as:

1. Go to Mediation and ask her see her proof that I am lying, which she won't have.

2. Ignore the letter because there isn't really a need to go to Mediation. She says one thing, I say another. I offered proof and actual events, she bluffed her way to saying I was lying. Ther is nothing that really needs 'solving'

3. Refuse Meidation again because it's a pointless exercise

What I am afraid of in going to Mediation is that she'll take the opportunity to try to change the Contact Order, and when I refuse I'll be seen as unwilling to co-operate and we'll end up back in Court where I'll look bad.

But in ignoring the letter, we may end up back there anyway.

I think I am being cornered into something I want to avoid.

Can anyone wade through my ramblings and offer advice?

What would you do in this situation?

[leclerc]

Re: Father with Residence Order, mother playing games, advice needed

The one thing that perhaps is obvious is keep accurate records and keep any correspondence with it. Avoid, if you can, any verbal communication since that is clearly a "he said, she said" issue. That's it really.

[HisDad]

Re: Father with Residence Order, mother playing games, advice needed

Thanks

That's the one thing I do have, accurate records. I keep a diary of everything, small details included, so I am sure of my facts.

[PriorityOne]

Re: Father with Residence Order, mother playing games, advice needed

I would do what she probably least expects you to do.... go to mediation. Mediation doesn't mean that you have to agree to her terms if those terms do not suit your son. If she then insists on pushing the issue back into court, then go along and state your case there. Your diary is your evidence.

:-)

[HisDad]

Re: Father with Residence Order, mother playing games, advice needed

As an update, I went to see a solicitor yesterday for some advice and was very reassured about my position.

I'm told I have nothing to fear over going back to Court as it simply isn't going to happen.

I've decided to agree to mediation but make it clear that certain topics will not be on the agenda, such as extending contact.

Altogether feeling a lot better about this now, so thanks to both above for their comments