Child Access Query

[Alpen1981]

Hi there,

Just after some advice please.

I have been seeing a man for a couple of months now, and he has taken his wife to court to try and gain regular access to his son. After 2 days in court and a hefty sum paid to his lawyer of around £7000 he has told me that he has only been granted 2 hours per week access with his 3 year old son.

He will not tell me the cirumstances of his divorce.

Would there be a particular reason as to why he has been granted so little time with his son? People I have spoken to seem to think that this is unusual and he must have done something pretty bad to get so little access.

Would appreciate any help as I do not want to enter a relationship with somebody who I shouldn't be trusting.

Thanks all.

Alpen.

[orc]

Re: Child Access Query

Hi there,

Just after some advice please.

I have been seeing a man for a couple of months now, and he has taken his wife to court to try and gain regular access to his son. After 2 days in court and a hefty sum paid to his lawyer of around £7000 he has told me that he has only been granted 2 hours per week access with his 3 year old son.

He will not tell me the cirumstances of his divorce.

Would there be a particular reason as to why he has been granted so little time with his son? People I have spoken to seem to think that this is unusual and he must have done something pretty bad to get so little access.

Would appreciate any help as I do not want to enter a relationship with somebody who I shouldn't be trusting.

Thanks all.

Alpen.

Hello there and welcome.

Others will be able to offer legal advice on divorce and access issues, I can't.

On a personal note, I think you have hit the nail on the head by saying you don't want to enter a relationship with somebody you don't trust and you mention the important fact that he won't tell you the circumstances of the divorce.

That perhaps does not bode well and you should maybe trust your instincts. As I said, my contribution is only based on lifes experiences, not on legal knowledge of divorce.

He could well be telling the truth, but on the other hand, he's not being open with you.

Best of luck.

[Celestine]

Re: Child Access Query

Hi there,

Just after some advice please.

I have been seeing a man for a couple of months now, and he has taken his wife to court to try and gain regular access to his son. After 2 days in court and a hefty sum paid to his lawyer of around £7000 he has told me that he has only been granted 2 hours per week access with his 3 year old son. Not terribly unusual, but definitely on the harsh side not to get over night access at least once a week. Has there been a long gap since the split and the child has become settled with mum? Sounds like he was pretty determined if he fought it to court. He could have been deemed disruptive or unsupportive of mum; who would have residency of the child it seems.

He will not tell me the cirumstances of his divorce. That's the really worrying bit....he tells you how much he has paid in legal fees but wont discuss anything about the case or divorce at all???

Would there be a particular reason as to why he has been granted so little time with his son? People I have spoken to seem to think that this is unusual and he must have done something pretty bad to get so little access. Unlikely to be something really bad, otherwise his access to the child would be supervised, but doesn't necessarily exclude domestic violence against mum, so be careful

Would appreciate any help as I do not want to enter a relationship with somebody who I shouldn't be trusting.
If he won't discuss it, then either a/ he has something to hide or b/ is so messed up following his split, he is NOT ready for a new relationship.
So, try talking calmly, if he blocks you or gets cross or makes you feel uneasy about the subject, then my sincere advice would be to steer well clear


Thanks all.

Alpen.

Best of luck

[Alpen1981]

Re: Child Access Query

Hi again, thanks for your comments.

They have been seperated for over 2 years. His ex wife and son now live with his ex wife's parents.

I have tried to ask him what happened but he just says it's a long story & doesn't want to talk about it.

As for being unsupportive this could be a reason as he is always extremely busy with his work and it pretty much takes up every day and evening of his time as he is self employed.

Also something else which doesn't add up is that he says his divorce went through 6 months ago yet I have been told by others that a divorce can only be granted once the child access has been sorted out, and once any assets/ liabilities have been settled. His ex wife still jointly owns the house with him so does this mean that his divorce can't have gone through yet?

Thanks for your help again.

Alpen.