no contact with son

[mariap]

Hiya all, I am writing on behalf of my brother who has had no contact with his 10 year old child for 4 weeks now. I hope to be able to give him some sound advice as he is "going under" with stress.

The background is; he split up with his partner (not married) five years ago and since that time has had regular contact with his child, more than 50% of the time, but does not have parental responsibility.

For the last 5 years he has been paying £75 a week maintenance plus school dinners and also bought clothes etc.

He is self employed and like many other people his business is suffering in the current climate and he has been unable to pay the maintenance for a few months. He has asked her to accept a drop in the weekly payments, which she has refused and she has added up the backlog and has stopped contact until he pays "what he owes".

After getting nowhere trying to discuss it with the mum, he has been to the csa, who can't work out a new payment until he has his accounts done. His accounts will show a loss.

The mother has said she will wait until she either hears from the csa or gets the backlog off him until she thinks about reinstating contact. She is working, receiving tax credits and is now married.

She is also 'poisoning' the child's mind and telling him that his dad no longer thinks he is worth paying for and has also told him that his dad is a scumbag!

She has also stopped any contact with my mum, who has seen him at least 4 times a week in the last 5 years and they have a very strong bond.

He has been to see a solicitor, but they seem to be dragging their feet.

Any help at all is much appreiciated, it's all making me feel sick to be honest.

[fuzzybrain]

Re: no contact with son

Does he have PR? Unfortunately even if his name in on the birth certificate, this does not give him automatic PR, the law changed for this in Dec 2003 and for anychild born after this date, their father would be given PR if they were named on the BC.

As the child is 10 years old the father would not have been gvien automatic PR unelss he was married to the mother.

Without PR he is on the back foot i'm afraid, as he has no legal rights. The mother can stop any contact with anyone who does not have PR or a legal contact order.

He is best going back to the solictor and telling them to apply to the courts for his to have PR and and a contact order.

Grandparents can also apply to the courts for a contact order, they would probably need legal advice for this.

[scottishlass]

Re: no contact with son

Hi Mariap and welcome to beagles:tinysmile_grin_t:

I am sorry to hear of your brothers problems getting contact with his child .

here is a link to a website, have a read around they are all very supportive and sadly this problem comes up a lot
Divorce and Separation - Support, Information and Advice

good luck

SL xx

[mariap]

Re: no contact with son

Thanks for your reply fuzzybrain.

No, you are right, he doesn't have parental responsibility. Is it a straightforward process to obtain PR, or does it mean relying on the mother to cooperate?

My mum is considering going to see a solicitor, as she is missing her grandson very much too (as well as suffering with worry about both her son and grandson's well being). I think at the moment though, she is a little afraid of "rocking the boat" and is hoping that all can be sorted out, with out the need for courts and solicitors. She is 70 years old and really could do without the stress of it all.

[fuzzybrain]

Re: no contact with son

PR can be granted easily if both parties consent. There is a form that a solicitor draws up and both parties sign - this is witnessed by each parties solicitor and then sent to Catherines House to be registered.

If the mother doesn't agree then the application would be put before the court and a judge would make a ruling.

Once granted PR your brother has the right to insist that all copies of medical and education relating to his son are given to him as well as the mother. He also has the right to sgn for medical/denntal treatment which at present he cannot.

At present grandparents do not have any legal right to contact with their grand children, so your mum may find an application a difficult and expensive process if the mother fights it - she may be granted contact, but its as easy as parental contact application