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Good Afternoon All.
I hope this is an acceptable place to vent and subsequently ask a number of questions in relation to my situation. I have not used a Legal forum prior to this one so I am unaware of what advice (if any) I am likely to get. Failing that. It currently free to get it written down so I can focus my thoughts and get everything written down in the same place.
The names/ages/and circumstances have changed so that Im not going to potentially get myself or anyone else in trouble FYI.
To begin with, I am A father of two wonderful children. Two little girls aged 9 and 7. Their Mother 'Maggie' and I were never married.
Around the middle of 2023, I received the final court order from the family courts detailing the custody arrangement of our two children. This was an incredibly lengthy ordeal which was frustrated by covid and her solicitors making every effort to make as much money as the possibly could from the legal aid granted due to the shear volume of domestic violence and child abuse claims that were made against me. I think in total we were in and out of court for almost 3 years with a 3 day final hearing.
The lead up to the court case involved varying degrees of contact with the children depending on how she was feeling and if she could use the contact as leverage for various reasons. the number one reason being financially.
The Domestic violence and child abuse were investigated by every authority under the sun. This meant that whist this was being investigated, I was forced into seeing my children every other weekend for 2 hours at a contact centre for approx. 6 months at one point.
Thankfully all of the claims that Maggie had made against me were found to be unfounded with the local constabulary even going so far to say that they believed that Maggie's entire narrative was nothing short of fictional.
Whilst the final court order isn't exactly what I wanted, it was ruled as roughly a 50/50 split with alternating holidays and time spent having video calls when the girls are not with me. Additionally, there girls also see me midweek on alternating weeks for dinner before being returned to their mother. I have been told that it is/was a pretty standard final court hearing in respect of child custody and was fairly confident with all of the other aspects of the order to prevent Maggie from miss-understanding or using aspects to prevent me from seeing the children or causing them any further harm.
Sadly, I think the judge was able to see what Maggie is really like and ended the final day by stating that he was under no illusion that due to Maggie's previous behaviour, it would just be a matter of time before we were back in court due to her.
Now, With not even 6 months into the court order and its hell.
Initially, It was the indirect communication I am meant to have with her via an app. This is court ordered. All I receive is excuse after excuse with no end in sight as to why the app isn't working, how she's so busy she cant respond to emails, why she texts me via SMS/whatsapp and then immediately blocks me so that I am unable to reply...
the children are also meant to have indirect contact with me on the weekends I don't have them.... this hasn't happened for the last 3 weeks.
following on from that, The children were due for a handover today at 11am. She hasn't turned up. She has stated that they wont be ready until later this evening and that she is going to spend the day with them...
additionally, I am allowed to take the children out of the country for 28 days. I don't need permission from her. I am also entitled to their passport details which she has made every excuse imaginable to not provide them since the final hearing.
Finally, With the above in mind, She is doing anything and everything humanely possible to frustrate matters. Whilst it isn't anything specific relating to any of the above, She is just becoming impossible. The adult themed questions I get asked by my children, getting sent to me in clothes that don't fit them properly or school uniform that a size or two to small for them. The children are genuinely beginning to suffer now because of her constant need to frustrate or get back at me (I assume for leaving her?)
After begging and borrowing almost 40k having gone through family courts once, I feel more and more the only solution to this is to take her back to court and have it heard all over again with everything that has happened since the middle of 2023.
Short of that, what are my options? take her back for a breach of the original order? Specific issue orders to go back and have reams of text added to the original order to try and make it even more air tight?
im trying my absolute hardest for the children, to do what is right for the children... and sadly the only conclusion I seem to continue to reach is that she should have less custody of the children than is currently court ordered as she simply doesnt care anymore.
I hope this is an acceptable place to vent and subsequently ask a number of questions in relation to my situation. I have not used a Legal forum prior to this one so I am unaware of what advice (if any) I am likely to get. Failing that. It currently free to get it written down so I can focus my thoughts and get everything written down in the same place.
The names/ages/and circumstances have changed so that Im not going to potentially get myself or anyone else in trouble FYI.
To begin with, I am A father of two wonderful children. Two little girls aged 9 and 7. Their Mother 'Maggie' and I were never married.
Around the middle of 2023, I received the final court order from the family courts detailing the custody arrangement of our two children. This was an incredibly lengthy ordeal which was frustrated by covid and her solicitors making every effort to make as much money as the possibly could from the legal aid granted due to the shear volume of domestic violence and child abuse claims that were made against me. I think in total we were in and out of court for almost 3 years with a 3 day final hearing.
The lead up to the court case involved varying degrees of contact with the children depending on how she was feeling and if she could use the contact as leverage for various reasons. the number one reason being financially.
The Domestic violence and child abuse were investigated by every authority under the sun. This meant that whist this was being investigated, I was forced into seeing my children every other weekend for 2 hours at a contact centre for approx. 6 months at one point.
Thankfully all of the claims that Maggie had made against me were found to be unfounded with the local constabulary even going so far to say that they believed that Maggie's entire narrative was nothing short of fictional.
Whilst the final court order isn't exactly what I wanted, it was ruled as roughly a 50/50 split with alternating holidays and time spent having video calls when the girls are not with me. Additionally, there girls also see me midweek on alternating weeks for dinner before being returned to their mother. I have been told that it is/was a pretty standard final court hearing in respect of child custody and was fairly confident with all of the other aspects of the order to prevent Maggie from miss-understanding or using aspects to prevent me from seeing the children or causing them any further harm.
Sadly, I think the judge was able to see what Maggie is really like and ended the final day by stating that he was under no illusion that due to Maggie's previous behaviour, it would just be a matter of time before we were back in court due to her.
Now, With not even 6 months into the court order and its hell.
Initially, It was the indirect communication I am meant to have with her via an app. This is court ordered. All I receive is excuse after excuse with no end in sight as to why the app isn't working, how she's so busy she cant respond to emails, why she texts me via SMS/whatsapp and then immediately blocks me so that I am unable to reply...
the children are also meant to have indirect contact with me on the weekends I don't have them.... this hasn't happened for the last 3 weeks.
following on from that, The children were due for a handover today at 11am. She hasn't turned up. She has stated that they wont be ready until later this evening and that she is going to spend the day with them...
additionally, I am allowed to take the children out of the country for 28 days. I don't need permission from her. I am also entitled to their passport details which she has made every excuse imaginable to not provide them since the final hearing.
Finally, With the above in mind, She is doing anything and everything humanely possible to frustrate matters. Whilst it isn't anything specific relating to any of the above, She is just becoming impossible. The adult themed questions I get asked by my children, getting sent to me in clothes that don't fit them properly or school uniform that a size or two to small for them. The children are genuinely beginning to suffer now because of her constant need to frustrate or get back at me (I assume for leaving her?)
After begging and borrowing almost 40k having gone through family courts once, I feel more and more the only solution to this is to take her back to court and have it heard all over again with everything that has happened since the middle of 2023.
Short of that, what are my options? take her back for a breach of the original order? Specific issue orders to go back and have reams of text added to the original order to try and make it even more air tight?
im trying my absolute hardest for the children, to do what is right for the children... and sadly the only conclusion I seem to continue to reach is that she should have less custody of the children than is currently court ordered as she simply doesnt care anymore.
