What to do??? Declaration of Trust?! Please help..

[TopSound]

Hi guys,

Please help me. I'm in a sticky situation relating to my family home and don't know which way to proceed. I welcome personal and professional opinions of all and hold no liability against any comments or advice provided. I just need honest and educated opinions.

I'm in dispute with my sibling in relation to the family home and don't know what to do. Very briefly:

- Our mother and father owned a property but got divorced.
- Myself and my sibling stepped in to take over fathers mortgage and are both solely named on deeds; myself, sibling and mother remained living in the property
- Since then, mortgage mainly been paid by mother, despite title deeds and mortgage jointly named in mine and siblings.
- Some small improvement of property carried out, paid for mainly by re-mortgaged equity, and very partially by sibling (but who is claiming to have spent loads more than they have in order to justify benefiting from my entire half).

Within the last year, dispute has occurred between myself and sibling due to the following:

- they are having a baby, and wanted the house transferred without charge or cost to them wholly to them.
- they stated they would take care of mother, but have shown evidence of not necessarily sticking to those terms if they're not appeased.
- the transaction would provide no security to mother if they later decided to sell and kick her out and so I've resisted signing over.
- the mother has said she would have it in her name, but then she could always sign it to my sibling or sell and gift her proceeds to sibling

I've had my life dragged through hell the last year.

I don't want any financial interest, but I want my mothers interest protected; importantly against herself. She's being threatened with exclusion from my siblings family unit in the future, hence I feel she may be guilted into acting against her own interest. If she signs over to my sibling, my suspicion is that she may end up being ousted from her home, and her life made misery. Ultimately I will be the one who picks up the pieces should this happen so I want to remove any possibility of that happening:

I've been told the following by my solicitor:

- If I sign over to her she can do with it what she likes, including potentially martyring herself for my sibling, should my sibling decide to go against her or influence her to change the decision.

- If I sign over to mother she can sign enter a declaration of trust with myself to state that she could not sell her share on or gift it away. Would this need to be agreed to by the other co-owner (my sibling)?
- I had to move out due to the toxicity within the household created by my sibling, and as a result expect this to drag on if I choose the wrong option.

I have 3 ultimate goals here:

1) Protect my mothers interest to ensure she doesn't sell her share, then further gift the proceeds to my sibling, nor directly give her rights to anyone else. I feel the need for this to be done for her and not give her the option to give it away in any shape or form. I don't see why my sibling deserves to benefit for 50% of our family home without any cost and free of charge, particularly after the way they have conducted themselves; involving lies, manipulation, excessive tension and drama. They've lied about so many things (including my mother - hence why I want to remove her opportunity to martyr herself).

2) Do it simply, so that there are no legal loopholes, or any real possibility for it to be contested later, or for further arguments or drawn out legal drama be conducted either during my mothers life or at her death

3) Resolve it in such a way that I'm not burning bridges with my mother and potentially leave the door open for us to have a relationship.

The 3 options I can see are:

1) Declaration of Trust - feels like this could work but needs to be exhaustive and literally no loopholes, otherwise these will be exploited. Can this be changed later down the line by my mother solely or by her and sibling? I've read that there are numerous types, and they can be contested later if it's not constructed exhaustively.

2) Sign it over and hope for the best and hope that everyone proves good intentions (possible but on balance probably unlikely - indeed even if likely, the small risk it goes wrong is too much)

3) Sell the house, buy my mother a property and let her live there without being under pressure. She can still retain a relationship with my sibling as I'll take the blame

Please advise me as I've spoken to lawyers, and have instructed a lawyer, but am being given advice and being told to choose. Whilst I know I must choose, without their direct advice, I need some impartial advice on which avenue to explore as otherwise I don't fully appreciate all the consequences that might exist later down the line.

Whilst legally it'd be interesting to hear the advice, I'd also be interested in hearing how you personally would manage this, as I don't know which way to go with this. Emotionally I want my mother to have control over her own life, hence sign it over to her, but I know there is a risk she will go against herself, and make my life misery in future by giving into pressure from my sibling.

I just want to move on with my life and draw a line under everything. Any Manchester based legal experts who can assist with figuring this out would be incredibly welcome to discuss. I'd prefer someone local but open to wider opinions from the general community.

Thanks kindly

[islandgirl]

Of the options listed I would choose number 3. But surely sibling would have to agree? Perhaps those with legal knowledge will comment.
Alternatively could you move mum out, perhaps rent something (retirement flats etc) if not possible to buy, and leave sibling and family in the house. Leave deeds as they are. Admittedly you would get nothing for now but they could not sell it unless you agreed / got part of the proceeds. I would not sign over and hope for the best - in my experience you will be disappointed.

[TopSound]

Of the options listed I would choose number 3. But surely sibling would have to agree? Perhaps those with legal knowledge will comment.
Alternatively could you move mum out, perhaps rent something (retirement flats etc) if not possible to buy, and leave sibling and family in the house. Leave deeds as they are. Admittedly you would get nothing for now but they could not sell it unless you agreed / got part of the proceeds. I would not sign over and hope for the best - in my experience you will be disappointed.

Thank you kindly,

This is partially led by emotional feelings too. I feel bad for mother, and whilst shes had her own part to play in 'stirring the pot' and allowing herself to be manipulated (whilst also helping to make my life hell along the way), she does still deserve the right to a peaceful future. Shes not retired yet, but has laid herself at the feet of sibling to do as they wish.

For myself, if they come to choose to sell the property, I'm not looking for proceeds. I just want mother's future protected and my solution in that instance would be to buy a property for mother, retain that in my name, and allow her to live there indefinitely as she chooses.

The other option I've got on declaration of trust feels like a complex one with potential loop holes? Might mean I end up contesting this in future if sibling finds a loop hole or comes back with some bone of contention, whereas keeping in my name (thereby eliminating any further action without my agreement) or forcing sale are clear cut. I feel additional agreements/trusts etc just opens the door to additional issues in future, but retaining my name keeps it very clear, as does selling.

The only problem with keeping in my name is that sibling actively want's me off, and wants no financial association with me (understandly, neither do I want one with them). I was happy with arrangements as they were, and was happy to sign my own declaration of trust with them offering them to have the right to live there in perpetuity without any risk of me trying to force a sale, but for their own greedy goals they've thrown their toys out of the pram to have the whole lot signed over to them, for free, due to simply being, in their own opinion, the 'rightful heir'.

I don't particularly want to force a sale as I'm not that way inclined, and have no incentive one way or the other to do so. I just want peace for all involved, but it's gone too far for a peaceful relationship unless it is on their terms, which I don't accept.

[islandgirl]

Fully understand the emotions involved. Have experience of a family member promising care etc to elderly relatives but once they got the money treating them horribly. I cannot speak from a legal perspective in this instance but I would try my hardest to avoid the trust route...The most simple way is to sell it and divide the proceeds accordingly, if you are able to make that happen. Then you would need no further contact with them.

[TopSound]

Thank you Island Girl, yeah it's really sad on an emotional note what money can do to people. It's always something you read about but never expect with your own family.