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Custody after cocaine attack help

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  • Custody after cocaine attack help

    Concerned for my 10 yr old son. His mother was recently attacked badly while he was with me. My concern is cocaine was involved. She has used it before but I was under the impression that stopped a long time ago and am now concerned for his safety while he is with her. I dont know if a drug dealer will turn up on her doorstep and this will happen again. Would I ha e a chance at custody? She has had alcohol problems in the past and recently took him to the pub and got extremely drunk to the point he was very upset and her parents ended up dropping him off to me.
    Tags: advice, custody, drugs

  • #2
    are the local authority involved? if not then you probably need other evidence to substantiate what is going on in your ex's life, as the family court (in my fairly limited experience) will not do anything about moving a child unless you have social work support (in court this usually means a CAFCASS assessment). The problem is that if you start a custody battle and don't have enough evidence to support your claims the court will throw it out leaving you and your ex at loggerheads and you may lose the contact that you have with your son.
    There are other ways though, you may want to think about going about moving your son in a more supportive way? (if you feel the environment isn't safe for him with his mother), so you could offer to take him more often to stay with you, and let it grow from there.
    Or if you have a good relationship with your ex, you could tell her that you are worried about her and your son, explain that the sort of thing happening around him can't be good for either of them (I am wording this tactfully as if you go in saying that she's not looking after him she'll hit the roof no doubt!) and give her some numbers where she can receive support for her drug and alcohol use.
    If you feel that this won't work then maybe a quiet, confidential word with your son's health visitor - it doesn't matter that he is 10 they usually are quite helpful, or maybe someone at the school who you could discuss your concerns with confidentially, also there is the NSPCC, they will accept confidential referrals, you don't have to give your name but explain your concerns, what happened and when, how you know about it and importantly the impact this has on your child. Be very factual about it and keep focussed on your child's best interest, that he needs a mother who is functioning and not putting him in danger.
    If you believe that there is an immediate risk then you should be telephoning the police, but from what you have said the events are not current, but certainly I would be keeping a close eye on my son and any potential reactions, give him a safe space, be aware of his needs within all of this, and try to ensure that he has someone to talk to about his worries and anxieties within all of this if he needs to, otherwise make sure he enjoys his time with you, gets to do things that he enjoys and spends quality time with you. I wish you luck.
    I am not a legal advisor but I have experience in social care work.

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