Non molestation order

**mitchbrowne** · 29th January 2019, 13:52:PM

Also for the picture evidence I want to provide of restaurant, hotel bookings and images she sent, do I have to put each one on a separate sheet or can I print maybe 6 images and label then. Then reference each piece of evidence by their exhibit number?

**Amethyst** · 29th January 2019, 14:09:PM

Do you know why she has filed for a non-molestation order ? and why would the police be trying to locate you ? Was there an incident which this has come off the back of ?

Are there any children involved from the relationship ? any joint ownership of property/assets etc ?

ie. why do you want to challenge the order ?

**mitchbrowne** · 29th January 2019, 15:07:PM

The statement says that I've been contacted her and sent threats like throwing acid in her partners face and that she's in fear of me attacking her family member.

I haven't contacted her since early last year and I've never made any threats towards her or her family.

we have no children together or any shared assets

I don't have any mutual contacts with her, so I don't know the reason why.

I don't know why the Police would be trying to locate me, the only thing in the statement that relates to the Police is that she states they are trying to locate me, it doesn't say why. I was served with the order last week and I haven't been contacted by the police.

I thought challenging the order would prove my innocence, but I'm willing to take an undertaking as I do y want things to carry on. But I'm scared that if she falsely accuses me of contacting her then I may be arrested and sent to prison. I don't intend to contact her or go anywhere near her or make any threats. I just don't want to be at her mercy if she decides to false accuse me.

**Amethyst** · 29th January 2019, 15:36:PM

Goodness. Okay if she is making these kind of serious allegations, and you are entirely innocent, there may be something else going on. Possibly someone guising themselves as you and contacting her via social media, or possibly anonymous threats where she is presuming it to be you...no idea but that's a serious allegation to have made against you, if you haven't contacted her for nearly a year why would she wait until now... . I'm going to tag des8 to look in - as if there has been a report made to the Police ( although would they actually have any trouble finding you?? presumably she knows your address in order to serve you with the order) you might want to speak with them - possibly to confirm that they are not looking for you etc That's just my thought Des knows how these things work more than I do and likely will recommend a duty solicitor if they do invite you for an interview.

Yes undertakings seem like a good idea, and even if you have zero intention of ever contacting her again then you do need to put your side of things forward to the court to defend the non-molestation application, just incase something has gone on and a further incident happens which you are blamed for resulting in a breach of the order.

The pictures she has sent you - are they intimate ? If so then No I wouldn;t include copies with your statement just state that she sent you images via text/messenger on date, date, date. You can include text messages - but ensure you include the chain of messages, and do not edit them. She has obviously a fear that you will show others the photographs which, actually, may be why she has taken this drastic step rather than just asking you to delete them.... possibly a new job / partner etc.

**mitchbrowne** · 29th January 2019, 18:44:PM

Originally posted by Amethyst View Post

Goodness. Okay if she is making these kind of serious allegations, and you are entirely innocent, there may be something else going on. Possibly someone guising themselves as you and contacting her via social media, or possibly anonymous threats where she is presuming it to be you...no idea but that's a serious allegation to have made against you, if you haven't contacted her for nearly a year why would she wait until now... . I'm going to tag des8 to look in - as if there has been a report made to the Police ( although would they actually have any trouble finding you?? presumably she knows your address in order to serve you with the order) you might want to speak with them - possibly to confirm that they are not looking for you etc That's just my thought Des knows how these things work more than I do and likely will recommend a duty solicitor if they do invite you for an interview.

Yes undertakings seem like a good idea, and even if you have zero intention of ever contacting her again then you do need to put your side of things forward to the court to defend the non-molestation application, just incase something has gone on and a further incident happens which you are blamed for resulting in a breach of the order.

The pictures she has sent you - are they intimate ? If so then No I wouldn;t include copies with your statement just state that she sent you images via text/messenger on date, date, date. You can include text messages - but ensure you include the chain of messages, and do not edit them. She has obviously a fear that you will show others the photographs which, actually, may be why she has taken this drastic step rather than just asking you to delete them.... possibly a new job / partner etc.

i am entirely innocent, I havent contacted or seen her for ages, that's why im so surprised about the non molestation order. she has no proof that ive been contacting her as i havent. I have evidence to prove my innocence in almost all the statements she has made.
It's been over a week and there's been no contact from the police either.

The pictures are not sexual or indecent, they just everyday random pictures. but the order says do not disseminate photos of her in any form. So am i allowed to submit any photo of her to the court legally, if im using them as proof.

Should i also refrain from submitting any sextings messages she sent me during the period, she said she was in fear of me.

I have no intentions of showing anything private at all, almost everything is deleted too.

can anyone tell me if im legally allowed to include her photo in my evidence to the court?
Also do i have to put any images I have in separate sheets or can i put multiple images on a A4 sheet and make reference to each exhibit by it's reference number.

**Amethyst** · 29th January 2019, 19:32:PM

I would state the date / time she sent each picture but don't include print outs of the actual pictures as exhibits in your statement. State that you have the images should the court wish to see them however for her privacy and because the order is not to disseminate the pictures you haven't included them and they are just stored on your phone etc . I'd also state that they are not of a particularly intimate nature. Similarly with 'sexts' - state the time/ date of messages and overview of content and again that you can provide them to the court privately if required however they are of a personal, intimate nature.

**des8** · 29th January 2019, 20:03:PM

Sending the photos and text messages to the court as proof with your statement rebutting her claims cannot be construed as disseminating them.
Dissemination is the act of spreading something widely
So there I disagree with Amethyst (please don't mark me "inactive"

)

Certainly oppose the non molestation order, but instead of giving a onesided undertaking suggest a cross undertaking where you both give an undertaking not to commit any act against the other.

Regarding contact with the police, if you know which station is involved it wouldn't harm your position to RING them to find out if they do intend to contact you.
If in the affirmative arrange an appointment to suit yourself and request the duty solicitor attend (his attendance is free)
If in the negative it is another falsehood in her statement

**Amethyst** · 30th January 2019, 11:10:AM

Haha - it's absolutely fine to disagree with me ( it's why I tagged you in

), legally it's absolutely fine to include them, morally I think you look better if you don't, at first opportunity, send copies of all pictures and texts to the court ............ a list of times/dates, and possibly a couple of examples but comment that the rest would be available to the court in private if required.

Regarding contact with the police, if you know which station is involved it wouldn't harm your position to RING them to find out if they do intend to contact you.
If in the affirmative arrange an appointment to suit yourself and request the duty solicitor attend (his attendance is free)
If in the negative it is another falsehood in her statement

Absolutely agree with that - finding out for your statement whether the police actually are looking for you ( and it seems not as she knows your address and they'd just have come round or rung you if they were ) will enable you to challenge that part of her statement.

**mitchbrowne** · 30th January 2019, 13:10:PM

Originally posted by Amethyst View Post

Haha - it's absolutely fine to disagree with me ( it's why I tagged you in

), legally it's absolutely fine to include them, morally I think you look better if you don't, at first opportunity, send copies of all pictures and texts to the court ............ a list of times/dates, and possibly a couple of examples but comment that the rest would be available to the court in private if required.

Absolutely agree with that - finding out for your statement whether the police actually are looking for you ( and it seems not as she knows your address and they'd just have come round or rung you if they were ) will enable you to challenge that part of her statement.

I've made sure I haven't included any photos of her or the intimate messages, but I've stated that I have a copy should the court request to see them.
She has stated that she was in fear of me and couldn't concentrate so much that it affected her work in 2017 to 2018, but I've included messages that show we were going on dates throughout that whole period, with arranging to see me and messaging me that she misses her and can't wait to see me, several times through this period.

The evidence I have copied and pasted into a separate document called Exhibit Bundle and referenced each image and in my witness statement, where I am disputing allegations she's made against myself. The example I've read online of how to present evidence seem quite complexed, but I've made sure the pages are numbered so the exhibits I'm referencing are easy to find. Would that be okay?

I contacted a solicitor for them to look at it for me, but they haven't got back to me. I did say I'd pay them. Another solicitor said he'll look at it tomorrow for £750.

**Amethyst** · 30th January 2019, 13:14:PM

Yes, where an exhibit is mentioned in the statement put ( EXHIBIT A ) in bold and then top right of the exhibit page put the corresponding reference and ensure they are in the same order as mentioned in the statement.

You can use a cover page for each exhibit, but with so many exhibits that'll would become unweildly.

**mitchbrowne** · 5th February 2019, 17:21:PM

Originally posted by Amethyst View Post

Yes, where an exhibit is mentioned in the statement put ( EXHIBIT A ) in bold and then top right of the exhibit page put the corresponding reference and ensure they are in the same order as mentioned in the statement.

You can use a cover page for each exhibit, but with so many exhibits that'll would become unweildly.

Thank you for your help so far.

I attended the hearing today and it was a disaster. The judge who gave the order wasn't available, so another judge had to handle the hearing. The new judge didn't have my statement and my former partner didn't receive the statement either, even though I submitted my statement to the family court on time.

So I had to had the judge a spare copy of the statement I had brought with me and he briefly read through it.
The judge explained that I wanted an undertaking but she refused and said she wanted an order. I don't think she understood what an undertaking is, even though I asked the judge to explain it to her. I was extremely polite when I asked him, but she shouted out No, she wants an order. So he said because he hasn't had time to go through my whole statement that he will need to call for a final hearing.

I'm extremely annoyed as I could have lost a lot of money if I had legal representation. I was quoted £5,000 and £7,500 for them to do my statement, which I've done myself and to represent me in court, Plus I'm sure I'd have had to pay more for them to represent me in the final hearing.

I've got evidence that I'm going to add to my statement, but to be honest I wanted it to be over and done with today.

Is there any advice on dealing with Final hearings in Non-Molestation court orders. I don't particularly want to be speaking a lot or have to do any cross examinations. I was so nervous today and I don't want it to come across as if I'm guilty, it's just that I'm not accustomed to attending court.

Any replies are much appreciated guys.

**mitchbrowne** · 5th February 2019, 17:33:PM

I'm also a bit worried as she put on an act as if she was sacred of me, she initially to go to another waiting area, even though I hadn't done anything and she also requested to stay in the court room whilst I went.
I didn't look in her direction once nor did I say anything directly to her.

I hope that her behaving like this doesn't make me look bad to the judge.

**Amethyst** · 5th February 2019, 18:02:PM

Well done for getting through today, despite the obvious challenges. I expect the Judge has seen it all before. If she is exagerating issues then she likely doesn't want to face you at all or risk you calling her out on it, she'd probably rightly imagine you'd be a little angry about it.... you did the right thing being respectful and keeping your distance. I can't imagine what her motive is for doing this - did she give any clues at all?

The Judge should go through your statement and then will issue directions for the full hearing. It does sound like you would benefit from legal representation, although nerves are normal and really don't make the Judge think you're guilty - they are very used to dealing with litigants in person.... the sums you have been quoted are insane so if you do want someone experienced to be there with you, maybe look at more local family law firms for a bit of advice on how to handle the hearing or even to rep you on the day.

**mitchbrowne** · 5th February 2019, 18:21:PM

Originally posted by Amethyst View Post

Well done for getting through today, despite the obvious challenges. I expect the Judge has seen it all before. If she is exagerating issues then she likely doesn't want to face you at all or risk you calling her out on it, she'd probably rightly imagine you'd be a little angry about it.... you did the right thing being respectful and keeping your distance. I can't imagine what her motive is for doing this - did she give any clues at all?

The Judge should go through your statement and then will issue directions for the full hearing. It does sound like you would benefit from legal representation, although nerves are normal and really don't make the Judge think you're guilty - they are very used to dealing with litigants in person.... the sums you have been quoted are insane so if you do want someone experienced to be there with you, maybe look at more local family law firms for a bit of advice on how to handle the hearing or even to rep you on the day.

I think the reason for her decision is because she didn't understand what an undertaking is, she was just shouting no and saying she wants the order because I won't obey the undertaking, so clearly she doesn't understand what I requested.

I still haven't heard anything from the police and it's been nearly 3 weeks since her statement states that she reported me, so I'm not sure whether she lied in her statement.

Also is she able to change her statement now that she's going to get a copy of mine. As she looked shocked when she saw that I had a statement as I could see if from the side of my eye when I handed it over to the judge.

Non molestation order

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