moving in with my father...

[mikehorne]

Mum died recently leaving my dad with a large house, its the house I grew up in it holds very special memories, he's 85 and currently mobile and able bodied, we (my wife and my 9yr old) have suggested we move in with my dad and act as his carers and be there when he needs us, I work full time and my wife works part time and our son is at junior school. the idea is we sell our house and pay of the mortgage and be debt free

just looking for more information, should we see a solicitor? or is it best to set ground rules before we make the plunge,

[2222]

Are you an only child, or could there be issues with siblings?

It sounds a lovely idea, in principle. In lots of cultures, it's very common to have 3 generations in one house, so there's no reason it shouldn't work. However, in those cultures, there are expectations about how things work that may not be what you and your family have been brought up to. I agree that spending a great deal of time working through the modus vivendi would be a very good idea.

Possibly keep your house for now, to keep your options open, and let it out?

What could a solicitor do to help you all get along well together?

[mikehorne]

I am the only child, we have approached the subject and briefly discussed the expectations of all us, as for renting that's a definite no from the wife (long time ago she rented her then flat, bad experiences apparently) so the selling route and investing the rest is our route, we have suggested using our money and my dads to build an extension/conservatory for additional space but thats long term.

Love the 'What could a solicitor do to help you all get along well together? ' that is PERFECTLY worded.

[Amethyst]

Your Dad owns his house and it is mortgage free. You have no ownership over the house at all.

If your father needs to go into residential care at any point in the future that may cause an issue ( of course the aim of you living together is that you could care for your father - but sometimes that becomes impractical )

You could look into buying part of the property and changing the ownership into a joint tenancy ( so you and your father own distinct %'s of the property ). He couldn't 'gift' part of the property ownership to you as it may be deemed deprivation of assets ( for care home fees and potentially inheritance tax later ). You'd need advice ( and so would your father ) - if you have debts, they could potentially end up being attached to your fathers house if you are a part owners etc and if any bankruptcy etc occurred you could end up with problems, so he needs protection against anything like that happening as well.

It's not my area at all mind you just a couple bits that sprung to mind.

[meellis]

All things considered you would be well advised to look realistically at all implications including the ones you aren't considering or don't want to consider. You say your father is currently mobile and able bodied but what if that changed. What if he was to need long term specialist care but because of his estate wasn't entitled to financial help how would it be paid for without affecting all of you. If you were to put your funds into building an extension on a property that isn't yours are you able to secure your investment without it becoming part of an estate to be distributed on his passing which, at 85, might still be a long way off and any care costs could have been secure against the estate. Also check that if some of his estate, especially the home, wouldn't be seen as tax avoidance if signed over to you now. My situation is different but I do know how awkward things get if seemingly straightforward agreements between families can get if they haven't been done with legal bases covered.

[2222]

I am the only child, we have approached the subject and briefly discussed the expectations of all us, as for renting that's a definite no from the wife (long time ago she rented her then flat, bad experiences apparently) so the selling route and investing the rest is our route, we have suggested using our money and my dads to build an extension/conservatory for additional space but thats long term.

Love the 'What could a solicitor do to help you all get along well together? ' that is PERFECTLY worded.

I understand the not renting thing. I still think you need to have a trial run. Perhaps move in with dad and leave your house empty for a while?

[meellis]

They actually might not be able to rent out there existing property without changing to a buy to let mortgage, they would have to talk to their mortgage company if they ever considered it. If I was honest the potential problems would not be realised in a short trial of living together but further down the line. There is the potential there for the part time worker becoming a full time carer for a father in law who could end up with something like dementia which would be very demanding to care for. That is a very bad scenario which hopefully wouldn't happen but it could so needs to be considered along with a load of other possibilities that no one wants to consider could happen to their own family,

[mikehorne]

we shall be trialing a 'weekend base camp' as my dad calls it living from his house and working and school run on the Monday morning, extending the times and varying the days to see where we stand.

[harletinna]

we shall be trialing a 'weekend base camp' as my dad calls it living from his house and working and school run on the Monday morning, extending the times and varying the days to see where we stand.

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