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She doesn't want a divorce/separation!

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  • She doesn't want a divorce/separation!

    Hello to you all,

    I have been following this forum for over a week now, but refrained from posting as I wasn't sure if I'm ready to divorce my wife.

    Unfortunately, this past week things have been very bad between us and I'm now 100 percent sure that I want to end this marriage once and for all. I honestly cannot believe I'm even typing this as the very thought of not seeing my daughter every day makes me weak in the knees.

    To give you a bit of background, my wife and I have been married for 3 years and we have a daughter who is almost two years old.

    I say married, we are not married according to UK law but have had an Islamic Nikah so in the eyes of Islam we're married, but I don't believe an Islamic marriage is recognised in the UK, unless things have changed recently.

    We always agreed to have our marriage registered in the UK but never really found the time to get around to it as she fell pregnant shortly after we got married, and we moved around between properties quite a bit so life was hectic.

    Without going into too much detail, my wife and I simply do not get along and haven't done so pretty much since the marriage begun, but we stood by each other for the sake of our daughter, at least I did.

    Things have gotten really sour now and we argue and fight more than ever before, and the relationship has become very toxic, we both pretty much hate each other. The worst part of it is that my poor daughter is stuck in the middle and it tears me apart every time I look at her whenever we argue.

    I spoke to my wife yesterday and explained that I want a divorce as I'm very unhappy in this so-called marriage and worried about the damage it's doing to our little girl. She outright refused and asked if I've gone mad.

    I told her that I wanted to sell our flat and split it in the middle and that I'd continue to support her and our daughter, but she's just not having it and is in denial about our problems. We do not even sleep in the same bed and haven't done so for many months now on and off.

    I would really appreciate some guidance on how I move forward with separating from my wife as we are not officially married.

    Also, I'm not sure what will happen to our flat which was purchased by both of us on a joint mortgage two years ago. I'm not sure how much equity there is in the property if any at all, but I expect she will not want to give me my share of the flat out of spite. I have been paying all of the mortgage repayments since the beginning and also paid the majority of the deposit. Could this end up in court? If it does then I guess the court will most definitely side with my wife and allow her to keep the flat.

    My family, especially my mother, are extremely angry at me for wanting to end this marriage, but what nobody seems to understand is that my daughter means the world to me and for me to come to this decision just tells you how miserable I am, and this isn't helping my daughter in the slightest.

    Please kindly advise or point me in the right direction.

    Thank you

  • #2
    Is this of any help:-



    • #3
      Hi Paula, thanks for that and it does help.

      I finally plucked up the courage to speak to my best friend about my situation and he tells me the Islamic divorce should be quite simple as long as she gets what was promised to her when we got married.

      I​​​​​ have a meeting arranged with her eldest uncle this evening to discuss all the issues although I don't expect that will help matters much.

      ​​​​​​​What I'm not clear on is what can be done with our flat. I want to sell the flat and divide our assets, but she will most definitely refuse to sell.

      What do I do? Do I speak to my solicitor who helped us process the purchase of the flat?

      Or do I need to speak to a divorce lawyer?

      Or do I need to speak to the mortgage provider as I'm sure they will have some say in this matter as the flat does still belong to them as we bought the flat only two years ago.

      I honestly don't know if we will actually get back the deposit we paid let alone make any profit but I honestly don't care. I just want to cut all financial ties and just continue to support my daughter and move on with my life which right now feels like is on hold.

      Many thanks.


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