Need advice about my present situation

[stickhatch]

My husband has been raising my son since he was 6 months old. The BF has not seen or talked to my son since he was about 5 or 6 - He turns 13 in May. We do have a child support case which he has made 1 payment to; Child Support can't locate him (nor can't I)

A few years ago I was researching the whole custody situation and I read somewhere that in my state if I am unable to locate the BF - I can put a ad in the paper for 90 days and if he doesn't respond that pretty much terminates his rights (this is needed for our step-parent adoption). Would anyone know what I am referring to? I can't seem to locate that information (confused on whether its 60 days or 90 days to run the ad).

[jukebox]

Re: Need advice about my present situation

I am not familiar with that, all i know is that if a parent for whatever reason, fails to maintain contact and in effect abandons a childs, you can file for full custody. but if the absent parent would turn up and reassert parental rights, the court may award visitation rights.

[stickhatch]

Re: Need advice about my present situation

I am not familiar with that, all i know is that if a parent for whatever reason, fails to maintain contact and in effect abandons a childs, you can file for full custody. but if the absent parent would turn up and reassert parental rights, the court may award visitation rights.

This is depressing. In spite all the positive things we did, why do I feel like a failure in this situation? I hope we can get through this.

[Peridot]

Re: Need advice about my present situation

Hi Stickhatch,

I'm also not aware of the 'notice' that you mention. All I would say is that with any Children Act application (which a Parental Responsibility Agreement would come under) the parties are expected to attend mediation if agreement can't be reached. If your ex didn't attend then the mediator could confirm this and provide an exemption which allows the Court to continue with any Order.

The exemption would apply when an authorised mediator claims in the relevant form that they are satisfied that mediation is not suitable as a means of resolving the dispute because either none of the respondents is willing to attend a MIAM or all of the respondents failed without good reason to attend a MIAM, or mediation is not otherwise suitable as a means of resolving the dispute.

You would however have been expected to try and locate the ex in all ways possible, maybe using a tracing agent or checking electoral roles. All I would say is my husband (not my son's biological father) has never had PR for him and it actually hasn't been an issue (my son's 20 now).

Maybe ask yourself why the PR is needed? In an emergency situation treatment of a child wouldn't be withheld. My husband is my son's 'dad' for all intents and purposes even though biologically he isn't and he has no PR. He has always been there for parent's evenings at school etc and the issue of his not having PR has never arisen although I suppose if I analysed it I have always been the one who signed school consents or things needing parental consent (not consciously, just because I'd be the one that got forms shoved at them usually!) Now he's over 18 it's irrelevant anyway.

Could be a can of worms not worth opening?!