Shared Parental Responsibility

[RJH]

Hi guys / girls,

Just looking for some help.

My ex partner (whom I have a daughter with) is supposedly sending me papers to ask me to sign to give her husband shared parental responsibility for my daughter. Do I just have to sign them, or can I object?

If you need more info, please ask.

Any help or advice will be appreciated.

[Amethyst]

Re: Shared Parental Responsibility

Do you want to sign them or object ? ( IF you do object I believe she could apply to the court and ask them to decide - she'd have to have good reason though )
It wouldn't remove your parental responsibility for your daughter, and you would still need to give consent for major decisions ( like moving abroad / changing name etc ) however it will mean that your daughters step-father can deal with general day to day stuff ( signing school consent forms / being present at police station interviews ( hopefully not though ) / giving consent for treatment at hospital in an emergency etc )

The papers will (should) be a Parental Responsibility Agreement need to be formal and be signed off by the court. Think it's this form https://formfinder.hmctsformfinder.j...(pra2)-eng.pdf

Quote from Gingerbread and info here https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/wp-co...onsibility.pdf

The following are examples of important decisions in
a child’s life that should have the agreement of everyone with parental responsibility:
■
Where a child lives.
■
Whether or not a child has medical treatment.
■
How and where a child is educated.
■
Which, if any, religion a child follows.
■
Deciding a child’s name and registering their
birth.
■
Giving consent for a child to leave the country,
whether for a holiday or permanently.

[MENTION=16361]Fiona[/MENTION] C; might know more about how this would work in practice though.

[RJH]

Re: Shared Parental Responsibility

Thanks Amethyst.

I don't know if to object or not, because I have an inkling that she is very sly and will end up trying to move quite a distance away (possibly abroad), and change her surname. The last thing I want is to weaken my position on those points especially?

[Amethyst]

Re: Shared Parental Responsibility

Both of those are things which need agreement of all those with PR - you know this taking your name off the mortgage thing, has that come from her too ? It doesn't sound like they are financially in a very good position so moving abroad is unlikely to be an option, but if this has all come about recently ( the mortgage thing and this PR thing ) there might be something going on - how old is your daughter now - 12 ? ( sorry if you said already )

Did she mention anything about you relinquishing your PR ?

[RJH]

Re: Shared Parental Responsibility

Both of those are things which need agreement of all those with PR - you know this taking your name off the mortgage thing, has that come from her too ? It doesn't sound like they are financially in a very good position so moving abroad is unlikely to be an option, but if this has all come about recently ( the mortgage thing and this PR thing ) there might be something going on - how old is your daughter now - 12 ? ( sorry if you said already )

Did she mention anything about you relinquishing your PR ?

No the taking of my name off the mortgage bit was my suggestion, but after the meeting I had with the lender today that's not an option (not sure if you've read the update yet?). They are £4,000 in arrears on it.

It has all happened very recently, this parental thing has been dropped on me this afternoon, but she's clearly been in touch with solicitors etc. prior to today.

My daughter is 9, and there hasn't been a mention of PR being relinquished by me. Interestingly though, she has said that if the house is forced to sell, they're moving away (no idea where they're thinking!)

[Amethyst]

Re: Shared Parental Responsibility

Hmmm, yes I did, not a great position is it... I thought I'd let Di and others look at it first - my first thought was how awful the mortgage companies were giving 19 yr olds a 40 year mortgage on shared equity in 2009 lol ...

So maybe she's reacting to your suggestion of being removed from the mortgage and having a panic then - she'll know about the arrears and that her husband isn't in a position to go on the mortgage etc so might be feeling vulnerable ? I'm not sure if your potential to be joined onto a mortgage is through a relationship or otherwise, but maybe she's concerned about that?
Is her husband local ( family wise) ( any reason realistically to move away ? )
Maybe this is her way of saying 'if you force us to sell the house you'll lose contact' ? trying to protect herself - possibly being convinced by her solicitor that this is one route to take ?

Relationships are complicated but if there areany concerns you can say no, and she'd have to take it to court I believe, have a read on the family law and gingerbread sites - if she does indicate she wants to take it to court then you will likely to get formal advice dealing with it.


( oh, doubt it helps but just to say I live a couple hours away from the kids biological father and I've never had any issue with my other half not having PR over the kids in the last 11 years )

[RJH]

Re: Shared Parental Responsibility

Apparently there will be a court date for it, so that will be fun.

Husband is local, has a son of his own, his family all live local too.

I would have thought blackmail doesn't stand up well anywhere, so if that's what she's doing surely she's playing a dangerous game?

RE; Mortgage, it is terrible. If I could rewind my life back a bit it would seriously change. I've got this to deal with, the mortgage scenario, the tenancy one, and I'm studying a degree online as well as working full time too. My plate is overspilling!

[RJH]

Re: Shared Parental Responsibility

[MENTION=6]Amethyst[/MENTION] just received this text message from my daughter's mom. This is the last bit of it that concerns me most about the form and getting it sorted for those reasons. Based on the previous exchanges between us it seems more and more as though they are planning on leaving sometime in the future, and if she died she wants my daughter to live with her husband basically. No Chance!

[Amethyst]

Re: Shared Parental Responsibility

Is she sending the letters over for you? I'd simply say that you look forward to reviewing the letters and documentation before making any decisions.

Her comment about 'making informed decisions' if something were to happen to her, is valid, - your daughter could chose to stay with her step-dad if he has PR - although that's not the only matter taken into account;

What happens if the parent dies and the step-parent does not have parental responsibility?

If the child's other parent has parental responsibility they will be responsible for the child. This is the case even if the step-parent has
been appointed as a guardian by the dead parent, as that appointment will not take effect until the surviving parent has also
died, unless the appointing parent had a residence order in which case the step-parent will share responsibility with the survivor.

What happens if the parent dies and the step-parent has parental responsibility?

If the resident parent died the step-children could continue living with their step-family rather than return to live with the other
parent. The step-parent and the other parent would share parental responsibility.

http://www.nowellmeller.co.uk/cms/documents/FL3.pdf

Seems mediation would be a good idea to find out what the actual issues are and figure out what is right for your daughter long term.

[RJH]

Re: Shared Parental Responsibility

[MENTION=6]Amethyst[/MENTION] any idea what 'could' means? Who would decide?

[Amethyst]

Re: Shared Parental Responsibility

Your daughter, or the court if there became a dispute between you and her step-father. The court would make a decision on the best interests of your daughter at that time. Without him having PR she would come to you - but applications could still be made for her to stay with the step-father, if it was her wishes and the court found it in her best interests. If he didn't get PR now through consent, or through a court application, then he might be able to apply for it then - it will depend on the circumstances.

I think you will need, once you have the documents, to get yourself an appointment with a Family Law specialist to go through the whys/wherefores etc of shared PR. It's an important decision and you need formal advice on it.

On the moving abroad/away issue, even with shared PR, you would still need to give permission - and you could still apply for a prohibited steps order.

http://childlawadvice.org.uk/tag/moving-abroad/

How can I stop my ex partner moving to another area in the UK with my child?

If a parent is going to move to another area within the England and Wales and take the child with them, that parent does not need the consent of anyone else with Parental Responsibility.

If the other parent does not want the child to move, then they can apply to the courts for a prohibited steps order, and ask the court to prevent the parent from moving abroad with the child. The child’s welfare will be the paramount consideration of the court. The Court of Appeal has confirmed that the court will consider the distance that the parent wishes to move and how contact with the left-behind parent will continue.

How can I legally move abroad with my child?

Where there is another person or persons with Parental Responsibility, the parent will need to obtain either oral or written consent from those people. Where there is a residence order in place (before 22/04/2014), a Child Arrangements Order or care order in place, written consent from everyone with Parental Responsibility will be required.

If the parent wishing to go abroad is unable to obtain this consent, then they can apply to the court and ask for the court’s consent.

When a court makes a decision about the removal of a child, the child’s welfare will be the paramount consideration