bullying, harrassment, sexual discrimination..grievance?

[mantaray]

Hi all,

I am looking for advice about starting a grievance with my employer. I have been there for just over 4 years & have had issues with my personal life being commented on at work.
I have been told that I won't ever get promotion due to my 'relationship' & have already been turned down for 2 promotions with in the company.
I am now on sick leave with depression - work related stress & really do not want to go back there. I have had very little support from management or seniors.

I have spoken to acas who have told me to start a grievance with my employer. I have written notes on what has happened over the last 14 months but not sure how to word anything else in the letter. Do I tell them I have contacted acas? Do I tell them I will be seeking legal advice? Do I say I feel I can no longer work for the company, therefore feeling it is unfair dismissal as I have been forced out of my job?

Any help would be appreciated please, I'm so confused.

Many thanks

[nemesis45]

Re: bullying, harrassment, sexual discrimination..grievance?

Hi all,

I am looking for advice about starting a grievance with my employer. I have been there for just over 4 years & have had issues with my personal life being commented on at work.
I have been told that I won't ever get promotion due to my 'relationship' & have already been turned down for 2 promotions with in the company.
I am now on sick leave with depression - work related stress & really do not want to go back there. I have had very little support from management or seniors.

I have spoken to acas who have told me to start a grievance with my employer. I have written notes on what has happened over the last 14 months but not sure how to word anything else in the letter. Do I tell them I have contacted acas? Do I tell them I will be seeking legal advice? Do I say I feel I can no longer work for the company, therefore feeling it is unfair dismissal as I have been forced out of my job?

Any help would be appreciated please, I'm so confused.

Many thanks

Hi welcome to LB,

I'm sure others experienced in employment law will be along to help you as soon as they are available.

nem

[mantaray]

Re: bullying, harrassment, sexual discrimination..grievance?

Hi welcome to LB,

I'm sure others experienced in employment law will be along to help you as soon as they are available.

nem

Thank you nem :-)

[nemesis45]

Re: bullying, harrassment, sexual discrimination..grievance?

Thank you nem :-)

To help others advise more positively and accurately can you give us some history
as to how/when/why this horrible situation arose?
Who was discussing your personal life management with others staff or just staff between them selves?

You refer to a " relationship" preventing you being promoted, is this relationship " within the company"?

nem

[mantaray]

Re: bullying, harrassment, sexual discrimination..grievance?

To help others advise more positively and accurately can you give us some history
as to how/when/why this horrible situation arose?
Who was discussing your personal life management with others staff or just staff between them selves?

You refer to a " relationship" preventing you being promoted, is this relationship " within the company"?

nem

This all started last year, when I started dating a manager of the place I work. We both remained professional in our jobs. Other staff didn't like it. I got ignored, I got sly comments. I ended up making an informal complaint so that it was at least on record, but didn't have the energy to pursue it as it was my word against theirs. The management knew what was going on & still I got no support.

The managers have now changed, as has the head of the board of the company. They both had a problem with my partner & have made sure that I can't go any higher up, even though I have better qualifications than the people who got the jobs that I went for.

I was told 'off the record' by the manager that I would never get promotion & that I'd be better off working elsewhere & if anything came up, she would let me know. I cried for the whole weekend - I worked my backside off at my job & feel I should be given a chance to get promotion for me - not be dismissed from promotion because of who they know or what relationship I'm in.

I haven't had a supervision for 2 yrs - we're supposed to get them every 3 months to see how we are getting on, if theres any problems we have, any training we feel we need etc.

I just don't know what to do now.

[nonlegaleagle]

Re: bullying, harrassment, sexual discrimination..grievance?

This all started last year, when I started dating a manager of the place I work. We both remained professional in our jobs. Other staff didn't like it. I got ignored, I got sly comments. I ended up making an informal complaint so that it was at least on record, but didn't have the energy to pursue it as it was my word against theirs. The management knew what was going on & still I got no support.

The managers have now changed, as has the head of the board of the company. They both had a problem with my partner & have made sure that I can't go any higher up, even though I have better qualifications than the people who got the jobs that I went for.

I was told 'off the record' by the manager that I would never get promotion & that I'd be better off working elsewhere & if anything came up, she would let me know. I cried for the whole weekend - I worked my backside off at my job & feel I should be given a chance to get promotion for me - not be dismissed from promotion because of who they know or what relationship I'm in.

I haven't had a supervision for 2 yrs - we're supposed to get them every 3 months to see how we are getting on, if theres any problems we have, any training we feel we need etc.

I just don't know what to do now.

Mantray I feel your pain I am currently dealing with a very similar matter for my partner, it's a bit late for me to look properly but if you are happy for me to I will look over everything tomorrow and can PM you my thoughts ?

hang in there as there is always a solution

[mantaray]

Re: bullying, harrassment, sexual discrimination..grievance?

Mantray I feel your pain I am currently dealing with a very similar matter for my partner, it's a bit late for me to look properly but if you are happy for me to I will look over everything tomorrow and can PM you my thoughts ?

hang in there as there is always a solution

Thank you, that would be great. Sorry to hear you & your partner are going theough the same thing. It is an awful position to be in.
I look forward to hearing from you.

[teaboy2]

Re: bullying, harrassment, sexual discrimination..grievance?

I don't see how this is sexual discrimination, its more victimization i.e. detrimental treatment towards you for being in a relationship with a manager at work in regards to overlooking you for promotion. Whilst the sly comments may amount to bullying harassment, it would depend on what those comments were and the frequency. One of comments or comments in heat of the moment wouldn't amount to bullying or harassment!

As ACAS are involved, they will likely contact your employers if you ask them too, though generally they wait till after the grievance procedure is exhausted!

Also can you both keep everything here on the thread, its against forum rules to advise via PM and use of PM is permitted only for providing those advising with sensitive information which may expose the identity of the person seeking advise if it were posted on open thread!

[nonlegaleagle]

Re: bullying, harrassment, sexual discrimination..grievance?

Firstly, Don't despair as this is a manageable situation and is something I totally understand. My partner is currently off sick after attempting suicide in December last year due to bullying at work! - So I totally understand your feelings of despair and not knowing what to do or where to turn!

So Just to go over some points (please correct me if I am wrong):

1. You have been employed by the company for a period of 4 years
2. You are in a relationship with a manager from the same company that you work for
3. You have previously made an informal complaint about the comments / bullying

Questions:

1. Who has been making the comments / bullying ?
2. What documentation do you have regarding the 2 promotions that you feel you should have got ?
3. Why do they not get on with your partner ?
4. Have you been clinically diagnosed with Depression ?
5. Are you on medication ?
6. How long have you been signed off sick for ?
7. Where have you got to with the Grievance ?

[mantaray]

Re: bullying, harrassment, sexual discrimination..grievance?

I don't see how this is sexual discrimination, its more victimization i.e. detrimental treatment towards you for being in a relationship with a manager at work in regards to overlooking you for promotion. Whilst the sly comments may amount to bullying harassment, it would depend on what those comments were and the frequency. One of comments or comments in heat of the moment wouldn't amount to bullying or harassment!

As ACAS are involved, they will likely contact your employers if you ask them too, though generally they wait till after the grievance procedure is exhausted!

Also can you both keep everything here on the thread, its against forum rules to advise via PM and use of PM is permitted only for providing those advising with sensitive information which may expose the identity of the person seeking advise if it were posted on open thread!

Thanks Teaboy2, there is a lot of information that I haven't been able to put on this thread for obvious reasons.

Firstly, Don't despair as this is a manageable situation and is something I totally understand. My partner is currently off sick after attempting suicide in December last year due to bullying at work! - So I totally understand your feelings of despair and not knowing what to do or where to turn!

So Just to go over some points (please correct me if I am wrong):

1. You have been employed by the company for a period of 4 years
2. You are in a relationship with a manager from the same company that you work for
3. You have previously made an informal complaint about the comments / bullying

Questions:

1. Who has been making the comments / bullying ?
2. What documentation do you have regarding the 2 promotions that you feel you should have got ?
3. Why do they not get on with your partner ?
4. Have you been clinically diagnosed with Depression ?
5. Are you on medication ?
6. How long have you been signed off sick for ?
7. Where have you got to with the Grievance ?

Thank you nonlegaleagle, I have replied.

[nonlegaleagle]

Re: bullying, harrassment, sexual discrimination..grievance?

Just to keep it plain and simple,

There is information that would identify the Employer but also The OP if it was posted in the general public also there are material facts that the OP may not wish to be published in an open forum, From a quick overview of responses to questions - It would appear that there has been discrimination however the basis upon which to prove it may be slightly complicated.

[joni]

Re: bullying, harrassment, sexual discrimination..grievance?

Hi all,

I am looking for advice about starting a grievance with my employer. I have been there for just over 4 years & have had issues with my personal life being commented on at work.
I have been told that I won't ever get promotion due to my 'relationship' & have already been turned down for 2 promotions with in the company.
I am now on sick leave with depression - work related stress & really do not want to go back there. I have had very little support from management or seniors.

I have spoken to acas who have told me to start a grievance with my employer. I have written notes on what has happened over the last 14 months but not sure how to word anything else in the letter. Do I tell them I have contacted acas? Do I tell them I will be seeking legal advice? Do I say I feel I can no longer work for the company, therefore feeling it is unfair dismissal as I have been forced out of my job?

Any help would be appreciated please, I'm so confused.

Many thanks

For your grievance to be sex discrimination the actions you complain of would need to be because of your or your partners sex; sexual orientation or gender.

if you are in a heterosexual relationship it would be difficult to show that you were not given promotion due to your partner sex. Unless you could show that your partner (or people the same sex as your partner) is treated in a similar discriminatory way and that there as some connection between that and your treatment.

If you are in a same sex relationship and that is the reason why you believe you were passed over for promotion and for the other mistreatment you have received then this will be sexual orientation discrimiantinon and or sex discrimination.

There is no correct form for a grievance letter as each is personal, there is no legal form to one either but you do need to ensure that you clearly spell out what you are complaining about.

You should therefore write to your employer stating that you wish to raise a formal grievance of ....(whatever you are complaining about) and that you feel that the treatment occurred because of your sex/sexual orientation etc

You should write a short paragraph or use bullet points for each of your complaints., setting out the date the act occurred, by whom the act was done and whether there were any witnesses.

Finally, you should state what you want as an outcome e.g. the promotion etc.

Then send the letter to your employer who should arrange a grievance meeting with you for you to air your grievance.

Your employer will have to investigation your complaint and give you a decision.

You will then have the right to appeal this decision.

You do not need to mention ACAS or Seeking Legal Advice as this will not assist. Whether you feel you can work for the company is a matter for you to decide. if you can not work for the company your only option is to resign. so unless going to work is intolerable or making you ill i would at least wait until the outcome of the grievance procedure and review your position.