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Stress and Bullying at work please help

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  • Stress and Bullying at work please help

    Dear all,


    I'm a hard working individual who has been working for the same company for almost 11years. During which time even thought it has been stressful and at times almost unbearable it has never reach the levels of the past five months.
    The company I work for is a French company and the file I work in is luxury retail. I've worked in different countries but my contract is uk based. Since the hiring of a new European Retail Manager my life has became hell. Instead of helping she has only harassed me as well as my previous line manager (who since has left due to this and who would have taken this matter further but was employed within the company for less than a year and there for was unable to do so). In the begging she tried to use me by asking me if I thought I was learning anything by my general manager....I found her line questioning at the time completely out of order as I understood that her plan was to get rid of him(for whatever reason...perhaps she just didn't like him, perhaps she felt threathen as he was more qualify and experienced than her ....perhaps because she was and still is on her first contract and has been working for us for only 5months and is trying to get rid of people to replace them with people she trust as to ensure her position as she is not capable or knowledgeable enough for the role...who knows may be because of all of the above) the fact remain that I initially was in the cross fire and once he left I was put in even worst position as my has quadruple due to her negligence. She is micromanaging me in such way that she has:
    1-hired staff without involving or informing me at all or my previous manager, team members knew ahead of me because the hire people were working within the same store as a result I was asked by the team about the new recruits and as I was not involved and not made aware of such hiring I would say that we did not hire anyone to my knowledge (made me look like a total idiot in front of the team that I'm supposed to manage) the hired people would show up without any notice to collect uniform from me while I was not informed of in advance which I think is unprofessional once more and it shows disorganisation and lack of communication within the company to a new employee(not a good start) and made me look as a fool(their direct line manager)
    I still managed to make the most of a bad situation and I'm proud to say I do have regardless of her several attempts to maintain and build my team respect and we are extremely successful in overachieving company goals
    2-left me to take complete charge physically over not only my department but also the stock as well as the men department without giving me any authority or the right tools to do so (man power, space) she would tell people that I'm there to support but would than minimise my management role by telling all to report directly to her by having meeting with people without my knowledge agreeing to things that went directly against our company standards, making everyone a manager (supervisors and the administrator) but leaving me obviously to do the actual job


    3-she has breached hr rule and over paid people by authorising holidays (of course without consulting me) which resulted in over payment and in the person walking away without finishing their shift. Is our policy not to give holidays during the notice period as we pay monthly from the first to the last day of the month on the 25th each month meaning that if someone was to walk away after getting pay the company can withhold any hours or days due from their holiday payments which take place the following month (I know not exactly the perfect system) this left extremely short staff considering the sickness level in the men's department which before she went on holiday I did point out was at worrying levels


    4- sickness level in the men's department have been an ongoing issue which I reported to initially to my line manager and later to her especially after he left and especially before she went on holiday. She went on to inform me that the issue has been address and that I should not be concern because there was a supervisor, an administrator and our company trainer that will be handling the situation and that I was there only to support....well when the situation arised as I predicted nobody cared and left while I stayed even thought I was there from earlier than all of them and ended up working 14 hours with only a one hour lunch(no other breaks) as a result I was forced to plan action for the following days and tried to reach her via phone over 10 times that evening I called the uk retail manager (also on holiday) had her phone switched off as they have prevented me to make decision due to her micromanagement I did not have the authority to call agency staff without their permission ( ridiculous since the tipe of line of business we are in...and is not as if I ever abused it before) since they both were unavelible and earlier I did call our hr (who by the way usually can never be found, I do mean ever) and forwarded to her the rota with the sicknesses updated (she can't authorise agency staff either) as to get the ball started since I was not able to contact them I called her superior and explained the situation I apologise in advance for disturbing her (she told me to stop apologising as this was her job and that she gets paid to do it and that she doesn't do anything for free)


    as a result of all this no need to say I've been suffering for panic attacks like crazy, weight loss plus I have been doing unpaid overtime since February as I have been told to take time back (if only it was true or possible. This is only the tip of the iceberg....because sice I called her superior the following day I was verbally abused by her over the phone as she proceeded to call me unprofessional, not a strong or capable manager, stupid, evil and mean for contacting her manager as obviously she is scared should any of her behaviour be reported to her (I told her that all I asked was the authorisation to call in agency staff should the situation continue (she came down but proceeded in telling me that she did not trust me and that I will never have a grow of career in the company) I went to our head office and spoke the hr manager prior to this and explained everything (I do mean everything to her) she accused me of having a nervous break down...she asked why did I not tell her earlier of this totally unacceptable behaviour I replayed that since is a superior not even my direct superior but an even higher superior I did not think it was my place to report it until now( in reality it is more because she can never be found and in all the 7 years I have known her it has always proven difficult to get hold of her fact that everyone within the company knows) she than proceeded in telling she is always there(lies) and that she was with a lawyer at present and still answer the call(why....because her boss called her and told her to...why...you have guessed right because of my call the previous day) she than slagged off both of the managers in question and asked me to make notes and come to a meeting on Monday where all the 3 of them will surely abuse me further.


    i can not take it anymore, I'm exasusted and I almost passed out several times, I lost what little private life I had(due to the hours) and I'm now suffering from what I think is ansaiety and depression (besides from the panic attacks). I'm constantly crying and unable to sleep and my judgement is becoming less clear as I feel worthless and even thought as I Christian I can not commit suicide I have been prying for my death to come soon as I can't cope any longer.
    I do not know what to do? Do I have grounds to take legal action? I'm scared and I'm completely alone in this. Please help

  • #2
    Re: Stress and Bullying at work please help

    Hi and welcome.
    A truly horrendous tale, and I am sure some of our employment people will be along soon to help you.
    Regarding your final paragraph, I would suggest a trip to your doctor first thing Monday morning.
    Your health is more important than a meeting with these people and you sound as if you need medical help.

    As it is the weekend it may be a little while before our employment people arrive, but they will come.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Stress and Bullying at work please help

      Ok, the first thing to do, is as Des8 has said.
      Make an appointment with you GP and explain the situation to him/her.
      Explain about your loss of sleep and the crying bouts.
      Ask him to sign you off work as unfit, and get a medical certificate for at least two weeks if you can.
      Have you got copies of your company's Disciplinary, Grievance and Appeals procedures?
      If not, then get them as soon as possible from your company.
      Have you still got a copy of your employment contract?
      What is your job description, and have you been promoted since starting for the company?
      This situation needs to be sorted out as soon as possible, and there is only one way to do it.
      You need to use the company grievance procedure, if you don't then you risk losing any case you may have.
      The grievance procedure is the proper channel to use if you are unhappy with your employment.

      Your complaint must be put in writing and you should keep a copy.
      List your complaints and ask for clarification as to what your duties entail.
      Also ask about your responsibilities, explaining that you believe that they are being undermined.
      If you can answer the questions, I may be able to offer you some more help.
      “The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity more than a friend, is a creditor.”

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Stress and Bullying at work please help

        As a footnote,
        By using the grievance procedure, it does give you ammunition if the company dismiss you, as you could always claim that it was because of that.
        “The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity more than a friend, is a creditor.”

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Stress and Bullying at work please help

          Dear Johnboy,
          first of all thank you for your prompt response and for taking the time to read it all.
          Unfortunately my train of thought it isn't clear due to the stress, lack of sleep and food plus I'm still receiving constant calls from work as well.
          I have to update you all in regards to this matter as I was not told the time of the meeting on monday I thought it would be best to write to ask, once I did with the other two managers in copy I was told that it was a misunderstanding and that there was no meeting....I honestly started to doubt my sanity at that point...I still used all my strength to replay that she did mention the meeting and that if talking on the phone created the "misunderstanding" we should perhaps communicate via e-mail and not via phone as she suggested (as I have the feeling that she is trying to prevent any record of any conversation by not putting it in writing) to this she replied with a further e-mail that yes there will be a meeting on Monday (?..) I have forward all relevant e-mails to my private one (good to mention that she forgot to put the confidentiality paragraph at the end of any of her e-mails to me). I don't have any ideas where my contract or employment book is ( is been over 10 years almost 11), I don't have a copy of the disciplinary, grievance and appeals procedure for the company and last but not list yes I was promoted in 2007 with an effect from February 2008 and I'm a concession manager. Since joining the company perhaps because I've loved this company from childhood, I dedicated all my energy and efforts to make it a great success by working hard, being flexible and available, by helping all department and going behind the call of duty (the amount of work never scared me) I have not had any disciplinary for over two years and I've met the company NBOS for the past two years and received bonuses as for such achievement. It all started this March. I feel as if I lost my life, all the sacrifices for nothing (not having a husband, boyfriend or childreen) dedicating all to the company for it all to be made a living hell by this people. What makes it all worst is that they would gang up against me, the hr manager I've knowed for 7 years (I repet she is untraceable but I never expected this) the uk retail manager to be honest tried to demote me in 2010 as the store I was working closed (due to a disagreement with the landlord not due to performance we were the best performing location in Europe). I feel worthless and helpless, I'm trying to stay focus to fight for my rights but at list if I should fail and something was to happen to me the blame should be appointed to them. I do need medical help, I'm scared to find out how much damaged has been done to me. I feel like my days are counted.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Stress and Bullying at work please help

            Thank you, for taking the time to replay. I will follow your advise even though I'm scared of finding out how bad it is. What makes it worst is that all I know is to work I've been working since I was 16(part time while I was studying) I never not worked in my all adult life.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Stress and Bullying at work please help

              Hi Samantha,
              First have that two weeks break by getting a medical certificate. The rest will do you good.
              Second, you really must not let your work life run your private life.
              The company are bullying you, and you are letting them get away with it.
              The problem is, that you have been doing far more tasks at work that you need do.
              The more you do, the more the company will put on you.
              You have to be firm and say that you are not going to do it any more.
              Tell them, that outside of work hours, it is your time and you do not want them contacting you, unless it is an emergency.

              Remember this one bit of advice.......
              You are just a number, a clog in a very big wheel.
              While you are slaving away doing all hours and all tasks, you will be the best employee of the decade.
              But at any time, this can turn around, and you go back to being a doormat.
              The company will probably still be there, when you are long gone.
              The more you let them get away with it, the more they will put on you.
              Be firm and be strong and refuse to bow down to unreasonable demands.
              While you may have shown loyalty and dedication to your company over the years.
              Things have changed in the workplace. Loyalty doesn't exist any more, except in a very few cases.

              Unless you are prepared to be strong, then the problems will not go away, and only you can decide this.
              Bullying in the workplace is more common now, than since the days of Charles Dickens.
              Communication by email is better, in that you do have a record of what has taken place.
              Quick phone calls are OK, or get yourself a phone that can record the calls.
              “The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity more than a friend, is a creditor.”

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Stress and Bullying at work please help

                Your Health MUST come first see the Doctor get a certificate and relax for the next couple of weeks.
                We all get depressed to a degree so when it gets so bad it has a serious affect on your life its time for help just talking to someone helps some It did Me or medication may be the answer .

                You have to remember there is help out there get it get better and grab the future by the neck it can be a minor setback if it goes on untreated it becomes Major.

                Comment

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