first time loss of family member

[lostfaith]

hello

can someone advise please

I lost first time family member she was 94, I have never been to funeral before and do not know what to do - I have made mistakes at work, been there four years due to my error theyve taken me off over time, not putting me on same job as other people anymore - they blame my mistakes on other things not due to loss of family member

I told them I lost Grandparent they said we do not consider family. I am only allowed one day for funeral. I am making mistakes due to greiving I cannot cope, I tell them they do not listen

I know more likely compassionate leave is direct parents Mum and Dad but

how can I do this, should I request holiday, call in sick? I cannot cope - they're not being supportive - small firm no union

[Tools]

Re: first time loss of family member

Hi lostfaith and welcome to LegalBEAGLES

Firstly may I pass on my condolences I know that dealing with the death of a loved one can be hard.

I have to ask a few questions, forgive me if they may seem blunt or hard to answer but it will help to advise you.

When did your Grandmother pass away and had she been ill for some time beforehand (i.e had her illness affected your performance at work before passing away or has your performance suffered since the funeral)

The job you normally do, could your mistakes affect the Health & Safety of you or your colleagues

What other reasons has your employer given you that they think has affected your performance

Generally, if a company has no written procedure, they do only take into account dependants such as a spouse, partner, child, parent or anyone living in the household.

This may also be extended to, for example, your Grandmothers husband if applicable.

If you feel the need to take time off work to grieve, then I would suggest being open and honest with your employer and telling them you are prepared to use some of your holiday entitlement if they are unwilling to give you compassionate leave.

Be as open as you can with them and make it clear that when you return to work you wish to be reinstated to your previous job and overtime opportunities, subject to them agreeing you are up to it.

Have a read of these pages at ACAS for more information and feel free to ask further questions here

http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=3963

http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=4120

[lostfaith]

Re: first time loss of family member

Hello Tools

Thanks for reply they phoned at 8:30am today to let me use holiday so that bit sorted, hopefully can sort others out on my return if I cannot will go in to depth with your questions on here

[lostfaith]

Re: first time loss of family member

Position for a friend in similar positiion what if were someone else we knew and would be affected

His similar position was he worked before the new Equality came in to affect in to 2010 and it did not affect if he had two years service which has just come in to force. He suffered same sort of loss, the first time like mine, his firm did not give him the leave, he was just joining on a probation period after successful 3 months temporary position, he was told only day for funeral and unpaid leave, he was told he could not use holiday

His mistakes were he was accused of telling someone how to do her job when he was just asking if he had been processing correctly, she told tales that he was accusing her of the above, he passed his probation successfully, and a year later he was told, not sooner, he was making mistakes, the company did not pick up on his mistakes when he was on probation and he was grieving same time

He had no holiday entitlement as being mid December he joined and no holiday till feb of that year after, as their hol year feb to mar each year, he also was told year later his job was changing and no contract in place for new job or a proper job title all issued, three years after he had been doing the same job

In laymans terms, if I ever join a firm close to the end of their holiday year, even though he did take the unpaid leave which was only two days, if someone else I know has similar experience, I assume you say, which we have both done is inform them of the loss of the family member

[Tools]

Re: first time loss of family member

Apologies lostfaith, not entirely sure what you are asking. I will try summarise my understanding please tell me if I am wrong.

You are using another example of someone you know, that went through a similar situation, however they were only allowed the day off for the funeral. This is standard, unless as I posted before, they are a dependant etc.

His employment had changed and in effect he had no holiday entitlement to take, but was allowed unpaid leave.

Each company has different policies regarding bereavement leave, the starting point is that you should at least be allowed to take time off for the funeral, but if you are say the only child of a lone remaining parent, you would need time off or be given consideration for making funeral arrangements too.

I hope I have grasped what you were trying to say, apologies again if not.

[lostfaith]

Re: first time loss of family member

thanks yes all clear, will make sure firms, have bereavement leave policies which they have in future as they did not have - just such as shame but glad they bit more sympathetic