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Improvements to covering letter

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  • Improvements to covering letter

    can anyone suggest improvements in grammer for this for me please?

    I am applying for the above role as I have many of the skills and qualities you are looking for to fulfil this post.

    I am looking for a new challenge and your advert ‘seemed to be written me in mind’ as I match your requirements and as you can see from my CV I have the necessary qualifications and experience within accounts in both charity and commercial environments which I believe, adds a further dimension to my attributes.

    I have recently undertaken some voluntary work within a public authority where I processed the service users petty cash, I received thank your from the service disabled service users and even though it was part time I stayed behind to make sure that the records were correct. I also was responsible for staff sickness and I reconciled the vehicle's mileage receipts and service user discounted transport costs.

    I have worked in similar roles where I worked within the charity sector, providing administrative support to a busy payroll support team. I took phone calls for the team and tried to help colleagues with their payroll problems to the best of my ability. I passed to the next level of authority if I could not deal with it. I used Excel to undertake some basic data entry.

    I also had a fixed term contract within a recognised Payroll Bereau for which I undertook data entry on to a computerised system of managing new starters and what errors they faced on to an Excel spreadsheet. I helped with distribution of preparing and sending out P45's to ex-employees. This was for their fashion retail client. I also worked for their banking client helping with photocopying and preparing folders for payroll month end.

    I undertook a Diploma in Payroll with Sage Line 50 and Microsoft Office at Distinction level in 2010 to see myself within Payroll for the foreseeable future as I have always wanted to do be in this kind of role.

    I have a high level of numeracy skills and familiarity with the principles and practices of a computerised payroll system

    I am a reliable person with a mature approach to work.

    I am confident and a friendly communicator, able to show and keep up good relationships with colleagues and others at all levels and from a variety of backgrounds.

    I can adopt a helpful approach, be tactful in dealing with queries. I use discretion at all times.

    I aim for excellence at all times, I am customer focused, and show resilience in all aspects of my work. I enjoy working with others and have an organisational commitment. I am able to adapt to change and have commercial awareness.

    I would be happy to come in to discuss my application further.

    Yours faithfully
    Tags: None

  • #2
    Re: Improvements to covering letter

    Originally posted by lostfaith View Post
    can anyone suggest improvements in grammer for this for me please?

    I am applying for the above role as I have many of the skills and qualities you are looking for to fulfil this post.

    I am looking for a new challenge and your advert ‘seemed to be written me in mind’ as I match your requirements and as you can see from my CV I have the necessary qualifications and experience within accounts in both charity and commercial environments which I believe, adds a further dimension to my attributes.

    I have recently undertaken some voluntary work within a public authority where I processed the service users petty cash, I received thank your from the service disabled service users and even though it was part time I stayed behind to make sure that the records were correct. I also was responsible for staff sickness and I reconciled the vehicle's mileage receipts and service user discounted transport costs.

    I have worked in similar roles where I worked within the charity sector, providing administrative support to a busy payroll support team. I took phone calls for the team and tried to help colleagues with their payroll problems to the best of my ability. I passed to the next level of authority if I could not deal with it. I used Excel to undertake some basic data entry.

    I also had a fixed term contract within a recognised Payroll Bereau for which I undertook data entry on to a computerised system of managing new starters and what errors they faced on to an Excel spreadsheet. I helped with distribution of preparing and sending out P45's to ex-employees. This was for their fashion retail client. I also worked for their banking client helping with photocopying and preparing folders for payroll month end.

    I undertook a Diploma in Payroll with Sage Line 50 and Microsoft Office at Distinction level in 2010 to see myself within Payroll for the foreseeable future as I have always wanted to do be in this kind of role.

    I have a high level of numeracy skills and familiarity with the principles and practices of a computerised payroll system

    I am a reliable person with a mature approach to work.

    I am confident and a friendly communicator, able to show and keep up good relationships with colleagues and others at all levels and from a variety of backgrounds.

    I can adopt a helpful approach, be tactful in dealing with queries. I use discretion at all times.

    I aim for excellence at all times, I am customer focused, and show resilience in all aspects of my work. I enjoy working with others and have an organisational commitment. I am able to adapt to change and have commercial awareness.

    I would be happy to come in to discuss my application further.

    Yours faithfully

    As I have the skills and qualities you seek to fill this post, I am applying for the above role.

    I am looking for a new challenge and your advert ‘seemed to be written with me in mind’. I match your requirements and as you can see from my CV I have the necessary qualifications; my experience within accounts in both charity and commercial environments I believe to add a further dimension to my suitability.

    I have recently undertaken some voluntary work within a public authority, where I processed the service users' petty cash. I received thanks from the disabled service users and, even though it was part time, I stayed behind to make sure that the records were correct. Additionally, I was responsible for staff sickness and I reconciled the vehicle's mileage receipts and service user discounted transport costs.

    I have worked in similar roles within the charity sector, providing administrative support to a busy payroll support team. I took phone calls for the team and tried to help colleagues with their payroll problems to the best of my ability , passing queries beyond my capabilityon to the next level of authority. I used Excel to undertake some basic data entry.

    I also had a fixed term contract within a recognised Payroll Bureau, for which I undertook data entry on to a computerised system, managing new starters: errors they faced being entered on to an Excel spreadsheet. I helped with distribution, preparing and sending out P45's to ex-employees. This was for my employer’s fashion retail client. I also worked for their banking client including helping with photocopying and preparing folders for payroll month end.

    I undertook a Diploma in Payroll with Sage Line 50 and Microsoft Office , gaining Distinction level in 2010 to support my wish to remain within Payroll for the foreseeable future; I have always wanted to do this.

    I have a high level of numeracy skills and am familiar with the principles and practices of a computerised payroll system

    I am a reliable person with a mature approach to work.

    I am confident and a friendly communicator, able to show and keep up good relationships with colleagues and others at all levels and from a variety of backgrounds.

    I adopt a helpful approach and aim to be tactful in dealing with queries. I use discretion at all times.

    I always aim for excellence, am customer focused, and show resilience in all aspects of my work. I enjoy working with others , have an organisational commitment, and am able to adapt to change. I have commercial awareness.

    I would be delighted to be given the opportunity to come in to discuss my application further.


    A few suggestions, LF.

    HTH

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Improvements to covering letter

      I'm really sorry LF, the strikethrough didn't paste from word, so my suggestions will have looked nonsensical. Have just done a quick re-edit:tinysmile_hmm_t2:
      Last edited by MissFM; 17th January 2014, 19:53:PM. Reason: bloody gremlins!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Improvements to covering letter

        thanks v much MissFM :tinysmile_twink_t2:

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Improvements to covering letter

          Originally posted by lostfaith View Post
          can anyone suggest improvements in grammar for this for me please?
          I am sure that almost anyone could. :grin:

          I also was responsible for staff sickness
          What illness did you give them? msl:

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Improvements to covering letter

            Now it's my turn. I'll largely leave MissFM's changes alone (other than changing the text to blue bold) and add my own in red bold.

            ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            As I have the skills and qualities you seek to fill this post, I am applying for the above role.

            I am looking for a new challenge and your advert ‘seemed to be written with me in mind’. I match your requirements and as you can see from my CV I have the necessary qualifications. I believe my experience within accounts in both charity and commercial environments adds a further dimension to my suitability.

            I have recently undertaken some voluntary work within a public authority, where I processed the service users' petty cash. I received thanks from the disabled service users and, even though it was a part time position, I stayed behind to make sure that the records were correct. Additionally, I was responsible for monitoring and recording staff sickness, and I reconciled the vehicle's mileage receipts and service user discounted transport costs.

            I have worked in similar roles within the charity sector, providing administrative support to a busy payroll support team. I took phone calls for the team and tried to help colleagues with their payroll problems to the best of my ability , passing any queries beyond my capability on to the next level of authority. I used Excel to undertake some basic data entry.

            I also had a fixed term contract within a recognised Payroll Bureau, for which I undertook data entry on to a computerised system, managing new starters: errors they faced being entered on to an Excel spreadsheet. I helped with distribution, preparing and sending out P45's to ex-employees. This was for my employer’s fashion retail client. I also worked for their banking client including helping with photocopying and preparing folders for payroll month end.

            I undertook a Diploma in Payroll with Sage Line 50 and Microsoft Office , gaining Distinction level in 2010 to support my wish to remain within Payroll for the foreseeable future; I have always wanted to do this.

            I have a high level of numeracy skills and am familiar with the principles and practices of a computerised payroll system

            I am a reliable person with a mature approach to work.

            I am a confident and a friendly communicator, able to show and keep up good relationships with colleagues and others at all levels and from a variety of backgrounds.

            I adopt a helpful approachand aim to be tactful in dealing with queries. I use discretion at all times.

            I always aim for excellence, am customer focused, and show resilience in all aspects of my work. I enjoy working with others , have an organisational commitment, and am able to adapt to change. I have commercial awareness.

            I would be delighted to be given the opportunity to come in to discuss my application further.

            ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            I hope this may also be of some help.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Improvements to covering letter

              thanks everyone -

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Improvements to covering letter

                Originally posted by lostfaith View Post
                thanks everyone -
                You are most welcome.

                I especially wished to avoid your being compared to Typhoid Mary. (link) :grin:

                Comment

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