Urgent help! Should I resign?

[joey]

I work as a relief worker on a job I started 2 months ago.
Recently, I was called to a meeting with the lead manager and was told their is an allegation against me and thereby placed on suspension.
I later received a letter for an investigative meeting saying the allegation was harassment at work.
I attended the meeting and I knew what the whole issue was about.
A female colleague whom I chat with often(at break) made a report. This someone I thought was friend (as we talk practically about everything).
What caused the problem was that I sent her a text one Friday evening at work asking if she was free to chat(she told me at work she going somewhere). Her reply was rather blunt saying why do I want to chat. I replied that I just wanted to speak to someone(as I was going through so much the past weeks) and I like her as a friend. She replied that she only saw me as a work colleague and nothing more. To which I replied that, I wasn't asking her out and that if I wanted to have her(ask her out) I could have but I wasn't ready for any relationship. Obviously she misinterpreted my last response and replied that I wasn't her kind of man and she would advise me not to text her again. I was worried that she misinterpreted me and I had to apologise(via text) and explain that I didn't mean to upset her and I mentioned that she was great person to talk to and so on.
At the investigative meeting this question of me sending her messages after she said i shouldn't was brought up. I explained that this was an apology cause I saw that she was upset. Personally, I always try to explain myself fully and I don't like it when I am being misinterpreted, so that was why I had to send her those messages.
Some irrelevant questions where also brought up , like if I asked someone else if she had a child(This I did because so many other colleagues ask me if I had a child or married).
I was told it will take about two weeks for the report to be decided on and probably call me for a disciplinary.
I am thinking maybe I should resign and look for another job because I want to avoid a case of dismissal. I don't want this to jeopardize my record in this career as I am just starting.
Your advice please.

[Inca]

Re: Urgent help! Should I resign?

Hi + to LegalBeagles

I have read this or a very similar story elsewhere on t'internet over the last few months..I'll have a root around and check and see what advice they received

[joey]

Re: Urgent help! Should I resign?

Thanks so much Inca. I will be waiting

[charitynjw]

Re: Urgent help! Should I resign?

Hi Joey, & welcome to Legal Beagles.

I'm a dinosaur re all things IT, but I believe there are various ways of blocking unwanted texts via mobiles.

If I'm correct, I'm wondering why did she not do this?

[joey]

Re: Urgent help! Should I resign?

Well that was an option for her and she didn't do this.
I also met her in person the next day at work to apologise and clarify things.
She mentioned that if she wanted to take it further she could have and she later said it was cool not knowing she had already made an allegation.
I mentioned all this at the investigative meeting but they kept on hammering that I sent her texts after she advised me not to. I told them the content of those texts were just apologies because she was upset on a misunderstanding.
Should I RESIGN before the disciplinary? or do you think it might NOT result in dismissal?

[strong123]

Re: Urgent help! Should I resign?

I work as a relief worker on a job I started 2 months ago.
Recently, I was called to a meeting with the lead manager and was told their is an allegation against me and thereby placed on suspension.
I later received a letter for an investigative meeting saying the allegation was harassment at work.
I attended the meeting and I knew what the whole issue was about.
A female colleague whom I chat with often(at break) made a report. This someone I thought was friend (as we talk practically about everything).
What caused the problem was that I sent her a text one Friday evening at work asking if she was free to chat(she told me at work she going somewhere). Her reply was rather blunt saying why do I want to chat. I replied that I just wanted to speak to someone(as I was going through so much the past weeks) and I like her as a friend. She replied that she only saw me as a work colleague and nothing more. To which I replied that, I wasn't asking her out and that if I wanted to have her(ask her out) I could have but I wasn't ready for any relationship. Obviously she misinterpreted my last response and replied that I wasn't her kind of man and she would advise me not to text her again. I was worried that she misinterpreted me and I had to apologise(via text) and explain that I didn't mean to upset her and I mentioned that she was great person to talk to and so on.
At the investigative meeting this question of me sending her messages after she said i shouldn't was brought up. I explained that this was an apology cause I saw that she was upset. Personally, I always try to explain myself fully and I don't like it when I am being misinterpreted, so that was why I had to send her those messages.
Some irrelevant questions where also brought up , like if I asked someone else if she had a child(This I did because so many other colleagues ask me if I had a child or married).
I was told it will take about two weeks for the report to be decided on and probably call me for a disciplinary.
I am thinking maybe I should resign and look for another job because I want to avoid a case of dismissal. I don't want this to jeopardize my record in this career as I am just starting.
Your advice please.

Hi and welcome,

Can I ask, had you ever before this incident text her outside of work about anything other than work related issue?

Is her phone business or personal?

[joey]

Re: Urgent help! Should I resign?

No I haven't except for a time we(including one other colleague) went out(job related) and she took pictures of everybody and sent mine to my phone.
I replied after it was delivered and I also asked how her trip went(She mentioned she was travelling over the weekend)
This is her personal phone.

[charitynjw]

Re: Urgent help! Should I resign?

Obvious question - how did you get her number?

[joey]

Re: Urgent help! Should I resign?

She gave it to me herself. When she wanted to send the pictures she took via mobile messengers.

[strong123]

Re: Urgent help! Should I resign?

She gave it to me herself. When she wanted to send the pictures she took via mobile messengers.

Did she give it to you, or you received it via picture message?

Neither here nor there really as either way she opened the door for you.

And how did she get yours??

Ok this is my opinion, not a legal one only from my working experience. There are many on here legally minded and will be able to advise better.

I am only going by the information you have given. It sounds like you may have misunderstood the level of your friendship and by that I mean there are many who get on really well, chat and have a laugh in work but never converse outside of work unless work functions, and not over phone.

This misunderstanding has probably not been helped by her sending you a picture message.

I can't tell you whether or not you should leave your job, in this investigation I'm assuming that she would have or will show them the text. If they are just apologies for a misunderstanding I cannot see why you would be dismissed.

I had to sit in on a disciplinary once and take notes, this for sexual harassment accusation, with going into detail it transpired he actually didn't realise he was being offensive and was given a written warning which all parties where happy with.

I'd doubt you'd be sacked for what you have told us, but as I said it is only my opinion.

[charitynjw]

Re: Urgent help! Should I resign?

http://www.acas.org.uk/index

Examples of bullying / harassing behaviour could include:

• [*=left]spreading malicious rumours, or insulting someone
  [*=left]exclusion or victimisation
  [*=left]unfair treatment
  [*=left]deliberately undermining a competent worker by constant criticism.

Under the Equality Act 2010, harassment is unwanted conduct which is related to one of the following: age, disability, gender reassignment, race, religion or belief, sex and sexual orientation and is therefore unlawful.

Also see
https://www.gov.uk/workplace-bullying-and-harassment

As regards the more general Protection from Harassment Act 1997

http://www.9parkplace.co.uk/news-and...of-harassment/.aspx?articleid=1864

This would necessitate a code of conduct which was threatening, or induced fear.

I would also imagine Art 8 HRA could be thrown into the mix.

As for resigning, if it were me I would not do so.

As you have only been there 2 months, your employment rights are limited.

[FlamingParrot]

Re: Urgent help! Should I resign?

I mentioned all this at the investigative meeting but they kept on hammering that I sent her texts after she advised me not to. I told them the content of those texts were just apologies because she was upset on a misunderstanding.
Should I RESIGN before the disciplinary? or do you think it might NOT result in dismissal?

We can't really tell you what to do, only you can make that decision, based on a number of factors we are not aware of, and which may have nothing to do with the issues at hand, but would very likely influence such a decision, such as your personal and financial circumstances, how you feel about working there in the first place, your relationship with other co-workers, etc.

Not all disciplinaries result in dismissal. From what you have told us, it doesn't sound like there is a real argument for dismissal based on the texts you've sent. Having said that, you haven't been there for 2 years, which is the minimum length of service before you could claim unfair dismissal - technically they could let you go for whatever reason, even if you never sent any texts.

This isn't really a legal issue, more of a personal one on both sides. If your employers are happy with you and the work you do for them, they may not think this is serious enough to dismiss. If you are otherwise keen to stay in your job, it wouldn't be wise to resign when you don't know what will happen. Also bear in mind if you resign, you may find it more difficult to claim benefits.

[joey]

Re: Urgent help! Should I resign?

Thanks for the advice. I am not really keen above claiming anything.
I just want to save my career as a dismissal will definitely mar my records.
That is just my fear.

[charitynjw]

Re: Urgent help! Should I resign?

ACAS have a mediation service

http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1680

It might be worth your while giving them a ring.

[enquirer]

Re: Urgent help! Should I resign?

It sounds as if she was friendly, but that you may have leaned on her too hard, perhaps finally becoming oppressive. That said, she could have told you to stop at any time, but didn't. It may also be that she now rather enjoys being the centre of attention.

Who actually made the complaint? Was it her, or was it initiated by someone else?