Personal Trauma and Impacts on the Workplace

[legalfun]

England.

Last year my wife who is in her 20s (so am I) had a horrible pregnancy. 3 weeks after we found out she was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic lung cancer. We also have a 2 year old.

My workplace policy regarding leave is that the primary caregiver gets 3 months full pay off and the secondary caregiver gets 2 weeks full pay off. At the time of the birth, I had already informed my workplace that the pregnancy has been quite difficult, requiring a lot of hospital appointments etc. - my team have a lot of flexibility and fully WFH so this was not an issue but I was still the secondary caregiver at the time.

Obviously due to my wife's health conditions (which we thought would end with the birth), the situation changed and I became the primary caregiver. I requested the full 3 months (I already used my 2 weeks paternity leave and added 2 weeks annual leave so I had 1 week left to return) as I am now the primary caregiver. There was a bit of friction here and it was only until I explicitly stated my wife isn't just ill but has stage 4 lung cancer which prompted them to change it.

After returning to work, I was eased back into my previous tasks. But I have had no meetings with HR regarding my personal situation and how strongly it impacts me. My direct line supervisor barely mentions a word of it unless I prompt it (i.e. I need to go to this appointment etc.), has not even asked how we are (same as HR).

Lately there has been friction between my supervisor and I. I frequently have appointments which come up last minute and on one occasion requested annual leave on the day. I have also used sick leave around 10 times due to mental health and my own health issues.

I've now got what I believe to be a first warning meeting coming up. I feel like the company including my supervisor have shown little empathy for my situation. I want to understand if my company have been taking appropiate measures for my trauma. I totally get I have a lot of flexibility that a lot of people don't but I have the same flexibility as my colleagues. Lately my supervisor has been micromanaging me (which he says he is allergic to) and I have tried to express how deeply this situation affects me - I'm met with messages like "hugs" but that's it.

I recently had a mid-year review which was a strong pass. I've been at my company for just over 2 years now.

Any advice is appreciated.

[ULA]

Sorry to hear about the health condition of your wife.

You say that you frequently have appointments which I presume are for your health issues can you explain why these tend to be as short notice? General GP and hospital appointments tend to be quite a way in advance these days unless they are an emergency.

Have you actually spoken to HR/your supervisor about the health issues that you have?

[legalfun]

You're right - some of the appointments are a bit last minute like scans due to demand e.g. being called on the day. For the ones in advance I do give notice. Generally it has not been an issue, my supervisor knows I will work later that day or in the week and it has never been raised as an issue.

I have raised with my supervisor my health conditions... Again "hugs".

I've had the meeting - company is making redundancies. Of my team, I have been there for one of the longest. I'm also one of the few that have been there for 2 years.

I highly doubt they are making redundancies across the board and feel it is related to my personal situation.

They have offered a package to avoid the consultation process and I'm thinking about it.

[ULA]

Sounds like the company has been flexible in respect of attending appointments but that is supported by the fact that you will make up the time which is a healthy way to manage.

Sorry to hear the company is making redundancies although it sounds like you are sceptical about this.

Is the package they are offering being done by way of a Settlement Agreement?

[legalfun]

It is a settlement agreement. All monies owed + 4 weeks pay tax free.

I am further skeptical because they are paying my notice but would rather I immediately halt work (was in the middle of big changes that I solely own and will have to be picked up).

[ULA]

So as part of the settlement agreement your employer has to make a contribution towards independent legal advice, given that, my best advice would be to find an employment lawyer. Although I can continue to answer your questions, they are now best to advise you on the situation.

Just to say that you need to also have a copy of your contract available as well as any draft settlement agreement, the employment lawyer will need both documents to advise you.