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Hi, below I have detailed a statement I have written for a disciplinary hearing. This states all the events surrounding the events leading up to the offence and how it has affected me mentally. I feel I am going to be sacked anyway as that is how badly I have been treated. I just wanted to know your thoughts on this and do you think what’s happened is right? I am feeling so low right now it is unreal 
Foreword
I have written this statement today to detail the events surrounding this whole issue as I feel due to the stress and anxiety I have not only felt due to the issue we are all here for today but for the events of the past twelve months that this is the only way I can communicate these events to you in a detailed fashion. I had written this statement in advance as I thought I would not be able to represent myself here today in person as I did not feel I could mentally take being ripped apart by a group of unknown people to myself. I have though decided to come here today as I feel it would be disrespectful of me not to attend and I do not want that to give you that impression as I do respect you all very much. All the issues below I had tried to remedy in an unofficial capacity with my supervisors and line managers long before the charges against me so I would like to make it clear they are not being raised now in retaliation to the charges against me. I feel now though that these issues need to be raised in an official capacity so my story will be recorded and heard by all relevant parties. The past twelve months have had such a debilitating effect on me and all this I feel has happened following the fact that I had put a compensation claim in against my employer for an injury that was caused by a defective piece of council equipment. Obviously this issue is still ongoing but until this incident I had received only one counselling notice for defending myself against a known bully by way of argument so apart from that had an unblemished disciplinary record. Unfortunately the breadcrumb trail and time line of the events following this claim lead me to see a more sinister motive for the events I shall detail in the following pages.
In regard to the allegation of obstructing a camera on my vehicle I am totally guilty of this and I am not going to claim any different. As xxx can confirm I am a terrible liar and as such I am not going to attempt to even try and bend the truth as it is not in my nature. I was brought up to always take responsibility for my actions and I will do no different in respect of these charges as it would not be right. As well as offering my sincere apologies for this I will have to say there are strong mitigating factors to my actions which I shall attempt to explain in this statement. I would ask that you please bare with me for the duration of this statement as I feel it is very important to me to have my views heard in this meeting and due to the anxiety I have been feeling about this whole situation I feel this is the only way I can communicate these in a detailed way. The hopeful part of me hopes I would be dealt with fairly in this hearing but from the way I have been treated by other members of management I feel my faith in having just that has deserted me and I feel the outcome of this meeting has already been predetermined.
Event 1
Over the past twelve or so months I have found myself and my crew in effect being intimidated and victimisedby the xxx supervisor xxx. I have had a constant stream of unfounded complaints being aimed at me and my crew by this person. These range from complaints that have been proven to be false, being followed by him on many occasions as well as being spoken to in a very confrontational manor. Myself and my crew have even seen him stoop so low as hiding behind walls and in bushes trying to catch us missing collections. The reason for this is that as I detailed to xxx I have been doing my job to the best of my ability in respect of contaminated boxes and unfortunately it was easier for xxx to blame us for these boxes than to actually speak to the customers to explain why we have left them. What xxx did not know though is that I myself was taking photographic evidence of each and every box that we left as I was told to by my supervisor xxx who I had reported these events to numerous times. On several occasions we have been spoken to by him in a disrespectful manner which ultimately forced me to tell him I feel I would have to record him in future conversations to stop this happening. Unfortunately for me and my crew this has only made the situation worse and put an even bigger target on our back. Due to the fact he could not carry on doing what he was doing he no longer came out to us but instead had been reporting directly to xxx in an attempt to get us all in some form of trouble. This fact I feel has put a strain on a relationship that before all this I thought was quite a trusting and a healthy one, I have always had and still do have the ultimate amount of respect for this lady. The way I see it is if somebody is constantly reporting someone not doing there job again and again and again even though they are then at some point the person listening is going to have enough. I cannot blame xxx for this as if it was me I would probably get annoyed the same and it is easier to take it out on us rather than one of her supervisors. I shall explain below how I feel this strain on our relationship has lead on to even greater problems for me which I feel were totally unjustified and unfair. During this whole period I had been stating to my supervisor xx that it was affecting me and putting a strain on me mentally yet each time it was brushed under the carpet and no support at all given. The only advice I was given was to keep a record of all events and take photographic evidence which I have done. You may feel that I have maybe made myself paranoid by what I feel has been happening above but this has not only be witnessed by myself but by at least four other members of staff so I have to ask how can we all be wrong? This constant harassment from xxx has not only put a great strain on me but also my crew but we have received no support at all as it seems as though a supervisor can do no wrong here even though they clearly are.
Event 2
As I detailed to xxx in our meeting on the 17th March at the start of 2021 I unfortunately began to suffer from a very personal male medical condition that caused me an extreme amount of pain on a daily basis. Due to my heart condition I was unable to take ibuprofen (which would have been a big help) and paracetamol was not having any effect in regards of easing my pain. I found the only option was to take a strong codeine based medicine called Zapain. As you may be aware this medicine due to the fact that I would be driving most of the day could only be administered in small doses as any more than this could potentially have put me in a position of being over the prescribed limit for safe driving. If I was not careful I could of found myself losing my licence and with this my way of making a living. The effect of this meant that I was forced to work most days in excruciating pain as can be verified by my crew who were brilliant and offered me the best support I could of asked for. They really are a credit to this employer and I am proud to have worked with them. During this period I made several visits to my GP and was referred to see a urologist as a matter of urgency. Unfortunately due to the pandemic I found this referral never came so I just waited and waited in vain. This continued for months and it got to a point in October 2021 that I could take no more and had to phone in sick for a period of two days. At this point I just could not take anymore so I had no other choice but to look at alternative routes to getting myself fixed and back to full health. As such I booked myself in to have a private procedure at a great financial burden to myself but as I saw it this was the only way I was going to have my situation remedied. Once I had a date for my operation I made my supervisor xxx aware and with this I also made him aware that this was very very personal to me and I did not want to disclose any details of what the procedure was. I made him aware it was not anything to do with my heart and that once I had undergone the operation I would be fit for duty with no after affects. Again I must emphasise that I made it very clear on numerous occasions in the lead up to my operation I did not want to disclose any of the personal details of what I had undergone unless it was to a trained medical professional! I then had my operation on the 19th December, 2021 and due to this was unable to work for a period of 7 weeks whilst I was in recovery. For the first 4 weeks following my operation I was unable to walk and unfortunately I suffered some adverse effects that made my recovery slightly more difficult. As a consequence of the amount of time I had off due to this operation I was referred to occupational health for a report on my situation. As I was speaking to a doctor in this meeting I had no trouble explaining to him the full nature of my operation and also the fact that I did not want to disclose the full details of this to my employer due to the sensitive nature of the procedure I had undergone. He agreed with me and stated that all my employer needed to know was that it did not affect my ability to do my job and the time it would take for me to return to work. These facts were detailed in the report clearly and were unable to be missed by anyone reading them.
Following this report and due to the fact that I had of course and as expected hit a trigger point on my employers attendance policy I was then contacted to participate in an attendance review via telephone with xxxx and xxx from human resources. I did not see a problem in doing this as I know it is my obligation. As I had previously stated on many occasions that I did not feel comfortable discussing the finer details of my absence with anyone who was not bound by patient and doctor confidentiality I again saw no problem in this. Unfortunately right from the word go I was put on the back foot by some of the questions and was then guided to having to talk about very personal medical matters of a male nature by two ladies. I felt very uncomfortable during this meeting and was becoming more and more agitated as the meeting progressed. At one point xxx actually said "I am glad you are upset as it shows you care about what we are saying". Unfortunately I was becoming more and more upset due to the medical questioning rather than what she thought was more about the attendance. I do not blame her for this or the line of questioning as curiosity is something we as humans all suffer from but I felt the whole meeting was inappropriate and made me feel very undignified and uncomfortable. From where I was standing I cannot understand the reasoning for asking me such questions as all the answers to these questions were stated in the medical report. I still to this day do not understand the need to question me along those lines when I felt uncomfortable telling her any more than was already in front of her in a report. Following this meeting which was on a Friday I found I could not get it off my mind all weekend and it caused me a lot of stress and I felt a little humiliated. As such when I came in to work on the Monday I spoke to my supervisor xxx to explain what had happened and how it had affected me. I explained that this whole time had been very traumatic to me and I felt that the meeting was inappropriate and had left me a little distressed. I feel that if this was two men questioning a female about a genealogical procedure it would immediately be looked at as inappropriate but as I am a man my feelings seem to have been overlooked and deemed not to matter. I said I would like to write an email to xxx to explain these feelings I had regarding the meeting. I did not want to sound like I was moaning or being confrontational so I feel I wrote a very complimentary email detailing my concerns in the hope this could have maybe helped improve situations like this again in the future. Unfortunately the only response I got regarding this email and the questions I had raised was a message from my supervisor xxx was that xxx "had answered all my questions in her letter to me". This was very disappointing to me as unfortunately xxx had not answered a single question I had asked. I felt really down about this as all I would of liked is some sort of reply on the lines of "we're sorry you felt like this during our meeting, that was not our intention" but I received nothing back which made me feel a little worthless and confused. As I did not want to cause myself any more trouble by pursuing something that was obviously not available I thought lets draw a line under this and move on so I did just that and continued on to do my job.
I would like you to please read an excerpt from your own council policy that I have detailed below.
Harassment
Harassment is "unwanted conduct related to a relevant protected characteristic, which has the purpose or effect of violating an individuals dignity or creating a hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for that individual"
Event 3
Following this I continued on doing my job but soon after found myself put in a very undesirable undesirable position by one of my crew on Thursday the 3rd of March this year. We were completing our normal round in xxx on that day when we arrived at xxx in xxx Whilst we were on this road myself and xxx were positioned on one side of the wagon doing our boxes and xxx was on the other side doing his boxes. As xxx was doing his boxes and as the footage clearly shows he unfortunately tipped one food box all over the floor, rather than clearing up the mess he had made he proceeded to get another box and did exactly the same thing leaving a large mess all over the floor. When I had got back into the cab I noticed this and asked xxxx to clear it up, his reply was "no the seagulls can have it". I did not like this response but decided to reverse back to complete the rest of the road, I then again asked xxx to clear up the mess and again was told "no we haven't got a dustpan and brush the seagulls can have it" (this was due to us being on a spare wagon which was very ill equipt). I knew this was not right so I took a photo of what was left for the purpose of talking to my supervisor about it when I returned back to the yard. My express thought on this occurrence was that xxx had not long been employed and was on his probationary period so I did not want to make a big deal of it and throw him to the wolves. I thought that having a quiet word with my supervisor to talk to him about it was the best approach so that is what I set out to do. Unfortunately when I returned to the yard xxx or any other supervisor were not there so I decided to leave it until the next morning. The next morning I could not get xxx alone as the office and xxx were very busy so I left the yard and then telephoned xxx to say I really needed to speak to him later as a matter of urgency. I then continued to go about my duties and finished my round. When I arrived at the gopher bulking station to tip my wagon I was approached by xxx and told "xxx says get your ass to xxx yard he wants to speak to you!" I asked xxx what? I was again told "xxx says get your ass to xxx yard he wants to speak to you!" I felt this was no way to speak to someone and rather than go there and have any sort of confrontation with xxx I decided to go back to the xxx yard to see xxx. Again though when I arrived xxx was not there so I telephoned him to explain what had happened and said I would come back in to the yard later to discuss these events. I then came back to the yard at 2.30pm and he told me of reasons for xxx wanting me to go to his yard. I then explained to xxx the events of the previous day and we watched the footage together. I said I felt that this was the best way to deal with this situation and asked him to call xxx in and have a word as soon as possible. We then left it at that and I thought I had done the best I could in the current situation without losing the trust of my crew. In hindsight the only improvement I could of made was to ring the events in straight away but being as I was with xxx all day I did not want to seem as if I was trying to get him in to trouble as that would of made working with him difficult as he could have looked at it as breaching his trust. I feel I was unfortunately put in a position where I could sadly not win either way.
At the start of the new week I just carried on about my duties until around 10am on Tuesday the 8th March xxx came out to my round and called xxx over and said "read and sign this" which was a counselling notice. xxx then proceeded to call me over and told me again to "read and sign this" again a counselling notice in my name! I could not believe what I was hearing as I had done everything I could possibly do with the staff and equipment I had at my disposal. I refused to sign the notice as I feel it was very unfair and did not make any sense. The counselling notice details 6 improvements that I needed to make if I was in that situation again but I had done each and every one of them at the time. The worst thing about this notice also is that xxx had issued this notice without even giving me the chance to explain to her what had happened! I had been charged, found guilty and punished without being given my basic human right of having the chance to defend myself. I really cannot understand this to this day as every person has the right to give the accusing person their version of events before punishment is dealt but it had already been decided that I was getting punished before I even had the chance. I can only assume that this was in retaliation to the email I had sent regarding my attendance meeting. I may be wrong and if I am I am man enough to admit that but I hope you can see how it looked from where I was sitting. It was at this point I felt I had no other alternative but to ask for a meeting with the waste manager xxx I wanted to do this as this whole situation was becoming a great strain on my mental health as I could not understand why I was being treated like this when all I had done was my best to deal with a very uncomfortable situation. I was looking for some sort of support and reassurance that this was not actually what was happening but I felt I walked into an even more hostile situation. I requested a union representative to come with me into this meeting and was told that I could not have one. I then continued to ask and ask until finally I was told I could have one but he could not speak! I felt I needed one at this meeting for support so I could not be ganged up on by two managers who I thought would be in attendance. Unfortunately xxx was unable to attend as she had contracted Covid and I hope she has recovered well from this. As such my supervisor xxx attended the meeting and I discussed all of the above facts with xxx who unfortunately I felt seemed very disinterested in anything I was saying again making me feel very disappointed as I had taken time to prepare relevant paper work and images reinforcing my views. We then left the meeting on the premise that xxx would consider the issues I had raised and come back to me as soon as he could so I left it like that in hope that we could resolve these issues and then I could move on with my work. I felt completely drained following this meeting as it was very emotional for me as I told xxx the next morning when I had to call in absent as I felt I needed a couple of days to recoverfrom the stress of it all. I was then contacted by xxx by telephone and then by text message asking me could I attend a meeting with himself and xxx to discuss some of the issues we had discussed the day before. I was of course quite happy about this as I really wanted to resolve my concerns and put all this behind me as I have stated before this has been very draining both physically and mentally. I had stated in the meeting the day before I had lost over 10lbs in weight that week through sheer worry and stress of the whole situation so thought he was doing his best as a caring boss to try and help me. Unfortunately when I arrived it was evident that this was not the case as all he did was asked about the cameras etc and then showed me the footage. Regretfully when he did ask me about the cameras rather than owning up like I would normally do my head was spinning as all I could think was that I had come to him for support as I was really struggling mentally with this situation but all this did was again put a bigger target on myself. I find it very suspicious that this footage only came to light the day after this meeting had taken place! I feel that because I had stated I felt a manager and supervisor had done something wrong it was a case of lets try and find something as soon as possible to punish me for that fact. They must of gone through days and days of footage trying to find this which just goes to show their intentions towards me unfortunately.
Conclusion
I would like to thank you all for staying with me this far but now I will return to the matter in hand as to why youare all here. I feel I had to state the whole events around this situation so you can understand my actions. I indeed did obstruct my camera on that day and yes it was a stupid thing to do and I can only again whole heartedly apologise for this. Again this was extremely stupid but with all the events that had happened my mental state was not where it should have been and I was not thinking clearly and I acknowledge that. I would like you to ask yourself was this the actions of a man who is thinking clearly to walk up to a live camera where he knows he is being recorded and doing what I did? On some level I was probably hoping I would get caught and just wanted one day where big brother was not trying to find something to punish me for. When you have been followed and watched for so long, scrutinised for no reason and blamed for other peoples actions then it takes a toll on you that you cannot imagine. I raised the issue with xxx regarding the fact that this footage is no longer held in confidentiality like it should be. I always thought that the footage of myself and all my fellow workers should be looked at by the people who are authorised to do so but this is not the case. Nearly every day I see footage being watched in that office by not only supervisors but all members of staff who are present and I feel this is wrong. I to have been one of these people on many many occasions where supervisors are taking the mickey out of people in front of all present staff. "look at this dickhead" etc etc. Again I feel this is really not right and breaches many elements of trust between employerand employee and in my humble opinion this must change! I know I did wrong by obstructing my camera but in no way was it intended to damage it as there are plenty of other ways I could have done this and not been detected if I had wanted but that is not something I would have done. Yes it was very wrong and maybe unforgivable in some respects but I hope you can see the mental strain I was under and the issues that have caused this to happen with the pressure and ever growing depression and anxiety I was feeling about the whole situation.
The most hurtful thing for me about this whole situation is that I came to you for help! I laid all what I was feeling down before supervisors and management in the hope I would be given support and all it did was make them want to get rid of me even more. On countless occasions I had stated to my supervisor xxx how this whole situation was putting a strain on me mentally but at no point was I offered any help and this showed a total lack of support for staff who were struggling. I have given almost seven years of my life to this place and done my very best day in day out to give you value for money. I worked all through this pandemic with a heart condition putting myself at an increased risk than other people without any credit at all. I worked for months in extreme pain rather than going off sick for this period which I could have done but I have always been a hard worker and I enjoy what I do so it was a necessary sacrifice. You would be lucky to have more employees like me who give their all and care about what we are doing here but it doesn't seem that you can see that. All I asked you for was some support as what I have been through in the past 3 years most people would have crumbled but I was still there fighting for the cause by cancelling holiday time and helping others during this pandemic at great personal expense both physically and mentally. I feel so let down it is heart breaking it really is, where were you when I needed you? Even when I had my heart attack I was given a formal warning for it! A supervisor had one not long before me and he was given an informal but me I was given a formal warning and told by xxx "he could let me go now if he wanted" when my only crime if you can call it that was being minutes away from death. I found myself asking where was the support for your staff in their time of need? I acknowledge you are not responsible for all aspects of my life but I have to ask where is the human element in the way things are dealt with here?
Unfortunately if the way I have been made to feel during this time causes something bad to happen to me then I hope this will bring a spotlight on these issues from a wider audience so they cannot happen again to other employees then at least my story will have a greater purpose! These events have put such a strain on me to this point that I have wished I could go to sleep and not wake up as maybe that would be easier for everyone, that is the depth of how I have been made to feel. If it was not for my children I doubt I would be sat here with you today with the way I have been made to feel. How I have not had another heart attack is a miracle with the stress and anxiety I have had during this time making it ever harder to control my heart rate again adding to my worry! I never thought I would have been abandoned like this in my time of need, yes what I did was extremely stupid and again I can only apologise for this but the state these events have left me in mentally these past few months has had such an impact on me I don't know how I have been able to function at all. I have had to start taking anti-depressants from my GP lately in the hope of this improving my situation and relieving the anxiety I have been feeling. If I am guilty of the offence I am charged with which I do not dispute then you as my employer are guilty of a failure to provide your duty of care for your employees in their time of need. Not once was I offered support be it via occupational health or any form of counselling for any of these issues until I was suspended and even then the services you have provided have been of no use whatsoever, I was told by Care First there was nothing they can do for me so I was to contact my GP! This whole situation has been quite debilitating to me and all this has been caused by these events above. All I have ever wanted to do was come in and do my job to the best of my ability and go home safely but again the above has made this very difficult even though I am more than capable of doing just that if I had had the support I needed so you must take some responsibility for this. I would also like to mention that during this whole process I have stuck to your rules on confidentiality by not discussing the matter with any staff but the same has not been reciprocated. I have had members of staff approach me asking me about details that only myself, my union rep, xxx and xxx would have knowledge of so at some point one of the latter two has divulged confidential information to other employees. This again has added greatly to my distress and unfortunately again reinforced my view that I shall not be treated fairly in this process.
Whatever happened to be kind?
I am as much your failure as I am to myself.
Foreword
I have written this statement today to detail the events surrounding this whole issue as I feel due to the stress and anxiety I have not only felt due to the issue we are all here for today but for the events of the past twelve months that this is the only way I can communicate these events to you in a detailed fashion. I had written this statement in advance as I thought I would not be able to represent myself here today in person as I did not feel I could mentally take being ripped apart by a group of unknown people to myself. I have though decided to come here today as I feel it would be disrespectful of me not to attend and I do not want that to give you that impression as I do respect you all very much. All the issues below I had tried to remedy in an unofficial capacity with my supervisors and line managers long before the charges against me so I would like to make it clear they are not being raised now in retaliation to the charges against me. I feel now though that these issues need to be raised in an official capacity so my story will be recorded and heard by all relevant parties. The past twelve months have had such a debilitating effect on me and all this I feel has happened following the fact that I had put a compensation claim in against my employer for an injury that was caused by a defective piece of council equipment. Obviously this issue is still ongoing but until this incident I had received only one counselling notice for defending myself against a known bully by way of argument so apart from that had an unblemished disciplinary record. Unfortunately the breadcrumb trail and time line of the events following this claim lead me to see a more sinister motive for the events I shall detail in the following pages.
In regard to the allegation of obstructing a camera on my vehicle I am totally guilty of this and I am not going to claim any different. As xxx can confirm I am a terrible liar and as such I am not going to attempt to even try and bend the truth as it is not in my nature. I was brought up to always take responsibility for my actions and I will do no different in respect of these charges as it would not be right. As well as offering my sincere apologies for this I will have to say there are strong mitigating factors to my actions which I shall attempt to explain in this statement. I would ask that you please bare with me for the duration of this statement as I feel it is very important to me to have my views heard in this meeting and due to the anxiety I have been feeling about this whole situation I feel this is the only way I can communicate these in a detailed way. The hopeful part of me hopes I would be dealt with fairly in this hearing but from the way I have been treated by other members of management I feel my faith in having just that has deserted me and I feel the outcome of this meeting has already been predetermined.
Event 1
Over the past twelve or so months I have found myself and my crew in effect being intimidated and victimisedby the xxx supervisor xxx. I have had a constant stream of unfounded complaints being aimed at me and my crew by this person. These range from complaints that have been proven to be false, being followed by him on many occasions as well as being spoken to in a very confrontational manor. Myself and my crew have even seen him stoop so low as hiding behind walls and in bushes trying to catch us missing collections. The reason for this is that as I detailed to xxx I have been doing my job to the best of my ability in respect of contaminated boxes and unfortunately it was easier for xxx to blame us for these boxes than to actually speak to the customers to explain why we have left them. What xxx did not know though is that I myself was taking photographic evidence of each and every box that we left as I was told to by my supervisor xxx who I had reported these events to numerous times. On several occasions we have been spoken to by him in a disrespectful manner which ultimately forced me to tell him I feel I would have to record him in future conversations to stop this happening. Unfortunately for me and my crew this has only made the situation worse and put an even bigger target on our back. Due to the fact he could not carry on doing what he was doing he no longer came out to us but instead had been reporting directly to xxx in an attempt to get us all in some form of trouble. This fact I feel has put a strain on a relationship that before all this I thought was quite a trusting and a healthy one, I have always had and still do have the ultimate amount of respect for this lady. The way I see it is if somebody is constantly reporting someone not doing there job again and again and again even though they are then at some point the person listening is going to have enough. I cannot blame xxx for this as if it was me I would probably get annoyed the same and it is easier to take it out on us rather than one of her supervisors. I shall explain below how I feel this strain on our relationship has lead on to even greater problems for me which I feel were totally unjustified and unfair. During this whole period I had been stating to my supervisor xx that it was affecting me and putting a strain on me mentally yet each time it was brushed under the carpet and no support at all given. The only advice I was given was to keep a record of all events and take photographic evidence which I have done. You may feel that I have maybe made myself paranoid by what I feel has been happening above but this has not only be witnessed by myself but by at least four other members of staff so I have to ask how can we all be wrong? This constant harassment from xxx has not only put a great strain on me but also my crew but we have received no support at all as it seems as though a supervisor can do no wrong here even though they clearly are.
Event 2
As I detailed to xxx in our meeting on the 17th March at the start of 2021 I unfortunately began to suffer from a very personal male medical condition that caused me an extreme amount of pain on a daily basis. Due to my heart condition I was unable to take ibuprofen (which would have been a big help) and paracetamol was not having any effect in regards of easing my pain. I found the only option was to take a strong codeine based medicine called Zapain. As you may be aware this medicine due to the fact that I would be driving most of the day could only be administered in small doses as any more than this could potentially have put me in a position of being over the prescribed limit for safe driving. If I was not careful I could of found myself losing my licence and with this my way of making a living. The effect of this meant that I was forced to work most days in excruciating pain as can be verified by my crew who were brilliant and offered me the best support I could of asked for. They really are a credit to this employer and I am proud to have worked with them. During this period I made several visits to my GP and was referred to see a urologist as a matter of urgency. Unfortunately due to the pandemic I found this referral never came so I just waited and waited in vain. This continued for months and it got to a point in October 2021 that I could take no more and had to phone in sick for a period of two days. At this point I just could not take anymore so I had no other choice but to look at alternative routes to getting myself fixed and back to full health. As such I booked myself in to have a private procedure at a great financial burden to myself but as I saw it this was the only way I was going to have my situation remedied. Once I had a date for my operation I made my supervisor xxx aware and with this I also made him aware that this was very very personal to me and I did not want to disclose any details of what the procedure was. I made him aware it was not anything to do with my heart and that once I had undergone the operation I would be fit for duty with no after affects. Again I must emphasise that I made it very clear on numerous occasions in the lead up to my operation I did not want to disclose any of the personal details of what I had undergone unless it was to a trained medical professional! I then had my operation on the 19th December, 2021 and due to this was unable to work for a period of 7 weeks whilst I was in recovery. For the first 4 weeks following my operation I was unable to walk and unfortunately I suffered some adverse effects that made my recovery slightly more difficult. As a consequence of the amount of time I had off due to this operation I was referred to occupational health for a report on my situation. As I was speaking to a doctor in this meeting I had no trouble explaining to him the full nature of my operation and also the fact that I did not want to disclose the full details of this to my employer due to the sensitive nature of the procedure I had undergone. He agreed with me and stated that all my employer needed to know was that it did not affect my ability to do my job and the time it would take for me to return to work. These facts were detailed in the report clearly and were unable to be missed by anyone reading them.
Following this report and due to the fact that I had of course and as expected hit a trigger point on my employers attendance policy I was then contacted to participate in an attendance review via telephone with xxxx and xxx from human resources. I did not see a problem in doing this as I know it is my obligation. As I had previously stated on many occasions that I did not feel comfortable discussing the finer details of my absence with anyone who was not bound by patient and doctor confidentiality I again saw no problem in this. Unfortunately right from the word go I was put on the back foot by some of the questions and was then guided to having to talk about very personal medical matters of a male nature by two ladies. I felt very uncomfortable during this meeting and was becoming more and more agitated as the meeting progressed. At one point xxx actually said "I am glad you are upset as it shows you care about what we are saying". Unfortunately I was becoming more and more upset due to the medical questioning rather than what she thought was more about the attendance. I do not blame her for this or the line of questioning as curiosity is something we as humans all suffer from but I felt the whole meeting was inappropriate and made me feel very undignified and uncomfortable. From where I was standing I cannot understand the reasoning for asking me such questions as all the answers to these questions were stated in the medical report. I still to this day do not understand the need to question me along those lines when I felt uncomfortable telling her any more than was already in front of her in a report. Following this meeting which was on a Friday I found I could not get it off my mind all weekend and it caused me a lot of stress and I felt a little humiliated. As such when I came in to work on the Monday I spoke to my supervisor xxx to explain what had happened and how it had affected me. I explained that this whole time had been very traumatic to me and I felt that the meeting was inappropriate and had left me a little distressed. I feel that if this was two men questioning a female about a genealogical procedure it would immediately be looked at as inappropriate but as I am a man my feelings seem to have been overlooked and deemed not to matter. I said I would like to write an email to xxx to explain these feelings I had regarding the meeting. I did not want to sound like I was moaning or being confrontational so I feel I wrote a very complimentary email detailing my concerns in the hope this could have maybe helped improve situations like this again in the future. Unfortunately the only response I got regarding this email and the questions I had raised was a message from my supervisor xxx was that xxx "had answered all my questions in her letter to me". This was very disappointing to me as unfortunately xxx had not answered a single question I had asked. I felt really down about this as all I would of liked is some sort of reply on the lines of "we're sorry you felt like this during our meeting, that was not our intention" but I received nothing back which made me feel a little worthless and confused. As I did not want to cause myself any more trouble by pursuing something that was obviously not available I thought lets draw a line under this and move on so I did just that and continued on to do my job.
I would like you to please read an excerpt from your own council policy that I have detailed below.
Harassment
Harassment is "unwanted conduct related to a relevant protected characteristic, which has the purpose or effect of violating an individuals dignity or creating a hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for that individual"
Event 3
Following this I continued on doing my job but soon after found myself put in a very undesirable undesirable position by one of my crew on Thursday the 3rd of March this year. We were completing our normal round in xxx on that day when we arrived at xxx in xxx Whilst we were on this road myself and xxx were positioned on one side of the wagon doing our boxes and xxx was on the other side doing his boxes. As xxx was doing his boxes and as the footage clearly shows he unfortunately tipped one food box all over the floor, rather than clearing up the mess he had made he proceeded to get another box and did exactly the same thing leaving a large mess all over the floor. When I had got back into the cab I noticed this and asked xxxx to clear it up, his reply was "no the seagulls can have it". I did not like this response but decided to reverse back to complete the rest of the road, I then again asked xxx to clear up the mess and again was told "no we haven't got a dustpan and brush the seagulls can have it" (this was due to us being on a spare wagon which was very ill equipt). I knew this was not right so I took a photo of what was left for the purpose of talking to my supervisor about it when I returned back to the yard. My express thought on this occurrence was that xxx had not long been employed and was on his probationary period so I did not want to make a big deal of it and throw him to the wolves. I thought that having a quiet word with my supervisor to talk to him about it was the best approach so that is what I set out to do. Unfortunately when I returned to the yard xxx or any other supervisor were not there so I decided to leave it until the next morning. The next morning I could not get xxx alone as the office and xxx were very busy so I left the yard and then telephoned xxx to say I really needed to speak to him later as a matter of urgency. I then continued to go about my duties and finished my round. When I arrived at the gopher bulking station to tip my wagon I was approached by xxx and told "xxx says get your ass to xxx yard he wants to speak to you!" I asked xxx what? I was again told "xxx says get your ass to xxx yard he wants to speak to you!" I felt this was no way to speak to someone and rather than go there and have any sort of confrontation with xxx I decided to go back to the xxx yard to see xxx. Again though when I arrived xxx was not there so I telephoned him to explain what had happened and said I would come back in to the yard later to discuss these events. I then came back to the yard at 2.30pm and he told me of reasons for xxx wanting me to go to his yard. I then explained to xxx the events of the previous day and we watched the footage together. I said I felt that this was the best way to deal with this situation and asked him to call xxx in and have a word as soon as possible. We then left it at that and I thought I had done the best I could in the current situation without losing the trust of my crew. In hindsight the only improvement I could of made was to ring the events in straight away but being as I was with xxx all day I did not want to seem as if I was trying to get him in to trouble as that would of made working with him difficult as he could have looked at it as breaching his trust. I feel I was unfortunately put in a position where I could sadly not win either way.
At the start of the new week I just carried on about my duties until around 10am on Tuesday the 8th March xxx came out to my round and called xxx over and said "read and sign this" which was a counselling notice. xxx then proceeded to call me over and told me again to "read and sign this" again a counselling notice in my name! I could not believe what I was hearing as I had done everything I could possibly do with the staff and equipment I had at my disposal. I refused to sign the notice as I feel it was very unfair and did not make any sense. The counselling notice details 6 improvements that I needed to make if I was in that situation again but I had done each and every one of them at the time. The worst thing about this notice also is that xxx had issued this notice without even giving me the chance to explain to her what had happened! I had been charged, found guilty and punished without being given my basic human right of having the chance to defend myself. I really cannot understand this to this day as every person has the right to give the accusing person their version of events before punishment is dealt but it had already been decided that I was getting punished before I even had the chance. I can only assume that this was in retaliation to the email I had sent regarding my attendance meeting. I may be wrong and if I am I am man enough to admit that but I hope you can see how it looked from where I was sitting. It was at this point I felt I had no other alternative but to ask for a meeting with the waste manager xxx I wanted to do this as this whole situation was becoming a great strain on my mental health as I could not understand why I was being treated like this when all I had done was my best to deal with a very uncomfortable situation. I was looking for some sort of support and reassurance that this was not actually what was happening but I felt I walked into an even more hostile situation. I requested a union representative to come with me into this meeting and was told that I could not have one. I then continued to ask and ask until finally I was told I could have one but he could not speak! I felt I needed one at this meeting for support so I could not be ganged up on by two managers who I thought would be in attendance. Unfortunately xxx was unable to attend as she had contracted Covid and I hope she has recovered well from this. As such my supervisor xxx attended the meeting and I discussed all of the above facts with xxx who unfortunately I felt seemed very disinterested in anything I was saying again making me feel very disappointed as I had taken time to prepare relevant paper work and images reinforcing my views. We then left the meeting on the premise that xxx would consider the issues I had raised and come back to me as soon as he could so I left it like that in hope that we could resolve these issues and then I could move on with my work. I felt completely drained following this meeting as it was very emotional for me as I told xxx the next morning when I had to call in absent as I felt I needed a couple of days to recoverfrom the stress of it all. I was then contacted by xxx by telephone and then by text message asking me could I attend a meeting with himself and xxx to discuss some of the issues we had discussed the day before. I was of course quite happy about this as I really wanted to resolve my concerns and put all this behind me as I have stated before this has been very draining both physically and mentally. I had stated in the meeting the day before I had lost over 10lbs in weight that week through sheer worry and stress of the whole situation so thought he was doing his best as a caring boss to try and help me. Unfortunately when I arrived it was evident that this was not the case as all he did was asked about the cameras etc and then showed me the footage. Regretfully when he did ask me about the cameras rather than owning up like I would normally do my head was spinning as all I could think was that I had come to him for support as I was really struggling mentally with this situation but all this did was again put a bigger target on myself. I find it very suspicious that this footage only came to light the day after this meeting had taken place! I feel that because I had stated I felt a manager and supervisor had done something wrong it was a case of lets try and find something as soon as possible to punish me for that fact. They must of gone through days and days of footage trying to find this which just goes to show their intentions towards me unfortunately.
Conclusion
I would like to thank you all for staying with me this far but now I will return to the matter in hand as to why youare all here. I feel I had to state the whole events around this situation so you can understand my actions. I indeed did obstruct my camera on that day and yes it was a stupid thing to do and I can only again whole heartedly apologise for this. Again this was extremely stupid but with all the events that had happened my mental state was not where it should have been and I was not thinking clearly and I acknowledge that. I would like you to ask yourself was this the actions of a man who is thinking clearly to walk up to a live camera where he knows he is being recorded and doing what I did? On some level I was probably hoping I would get caught and just wanted one day where big brother was not trying to find something to punish me for. When you have been followed and watched for so long, scrutinised for no reason and blamed for other peoples actions then it takes a toll on you that you cannot imagine. I raised the issue with xxx regarding the fact that this footage is no longer held in confidentiality like it should be. I always thought that the footage of myself and all my fellow workers should be looked at by the people who are authorised to do so but this is not the case. Nearly every day I see footage being watched in that office by not only supervisors but all members of staff who are present and I feel this is wrong. I to have been one of these people on many many occasions where supervisors are taking the mickey out of people in front of all present staff. "look at this dickhead" etc etc. Again I feel this is really not right and breaches many elements of trust between employerand employee and in my humble opinion this must change! I know I did wrong by obstructing my camera but in no way was it intended to damage it as there are plenty of other ways I could have done this and not been detected if I had wanted but that is not something I would have done. Yes it was very wrong and maybe unforgivable in some respects but I hope you can see the mental strain I was under and the issues that have caused this to happen with the pressure and ever growing depression and anxiety I was feeling about the whole situation.
The most hurtful thing for me about this whole situation is that I came to you for help! I laid all what I was feeling down before supervisors and management in the hope I would be given support and all it did was make them want to get rid of me even more. On countless occasions I had stated to my supervisor xxx how this whole situation was putting a strain on me mentally but at no point was I offered any help and this showed a total lack of support for staff who were struggling. I have given almost seven years of my life to this place and done my very best day in day out to give you value for money. I worked all through this pandemic with a heart condition putting myself at an increased risk than other people without any credit at all. I worked for months in extreme pain rather than going off sick for this period which I could have done but I have always been a hard worker and I enjoy what I do so it was a necessary sacrifice. You would be lucky to have more employees like me who give their all and care about what we are doing here but it doesn't seem that you can see that. All I asked you for was some support as what I have been through in the past 3 years most people would have crumbled but I was still there fighting for the cause by cancelling holiday time and helping others during this pandemic at great personal expense both physically and mentally. I feel so let down it is heart breaking it really is, where were you when I needed you? Even when I had my heart attack I was given a formal warning for it! A supervisor had one not long before me and he was given an informal but me I was given a formal warning and told by xxx "he could let me go now if he wanted" when my only crime if you can call it that was being minutes away from death. I found myself asking where was the support for your staff in their time of need? I acknowledge you are not responsible for all aspects of my life but I have to ask where is the human element in the way things are dealt with here?
Unfortunately if the way I have been made to feel during this time causes something bad to happen to me then I hope this will bring a spotlight on these issues from a wider audience so they cannot happen again to other employees then at least my story will have a greater purpose! These events have put such a strain on me to this point that I have wished I could go to sleep and not wake up as maybe that would be easier for everyone, that is the depth of how I have been made to feel. If it was not for my children I doubt I would be sat here with you today with the way I have been made to feel. How I have not had another heart attack is a miracle with the stress and anxiety I have had during this time making it ever harder to control my heart rate again adding to my worry! I never thought I would have been abandoned like this in my time of need, yes what I did was extremely stupid and again I can only apologise for this but the state these events have left me in mentally these past few months has had such an impact on me I don't know how I have been able to function at all. I have had to start taking anti-depressants from my GP lately in the hope of this improving my situation and relieving the anxiety I have been feeling. If I am guilty of the offence I am charged with which I do not dispute then you as my employer are guilty of a failure to provide your duty of care for your employees in their time of need. Not once was I offered support be it via occupational health or any form of counselling for any of these issues until I was suspended and even then the services you have provided have been of no use whatsoever, I was told by Care First there was nothing they can do for me so I was to contact my GP! This whole situation has been quite debilitating to me and all this has been caused by these events above. All I have ever wanted to do was come in and do my job to the best of my ability and go home safely but again the above has made this very difficult even though I am more than capable of doing just that if I had had the support I needed so you must take some responsibility for this. I would also like to mention that during this whole process I have stuck to your rules on confidentiality by not discussing the matter with any staff but the same has not been reciprocated. I have had members of staff approach me asking me about details that only myself, my union rep, xxx and xxx would have knowledge of so at some point one of the latter two has divulged confidential information to other employees. This again has added greatly to my distress and unfortunately again reinforced my view that I shall not be treated fairly in this process.
Whatever happened to be kind?
I am as much your failure as I am to myself.
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