COT 3 agreement - asserting one's rights

[mrstevenson]

I am now at the stage of agreeing the terms on which to settle using COT 3 agreement for a claim of money I am owed from employer X.

However, it seemed that information from previous employment was passed on to him which seemed to relate to forms of mistreatment, personal information about me, disputes etc.
This was rather indirectly revealed to me through hints in conversations between colleagues suggesting the spread of this information.

This did not seem to bother me as I no longer work for employer X and I am about to get the outstanding sum in the agreed COT 3 agreement.
The problem does not stop there because the cycle of abuse continued with the next employer (Y). Even if this is not something serious it is a breach of trust. I have left work with this employer (Y) too and I am now looking for a job that is related to my professional growth.

To paraphrase it the situation is: We like to gossip, we don't care if the information is true or not, we just want to add fuel to the fire by making assumptions as if we are compassionate/judgemental, regardless if this seems ridiculous or offensive. The mere fact that someone can be granted this power just because they are friends with the manager already means toxic culture. This is what is annoying - it is this shit culture. It seems like every employer feels obliged to make philosophical statements and use information obtained through third party about the employee, without the employee being aware or able to review and prove his argument. It could be that my character is assertive, I don't like lies and dishonesty and when the employer finds himself being the bully it is this guilt that is the motivation behind to overuse and abuse the power with information. This could be by setting up a coworker to badmouth you, etc.

I feel like employment can be like Big Brother and they are using street theatre against a person. In other words it is very easy to perform the abuse but very hard to prove that it is harmful.
The sad truth is people lie, betray and try very hard to pull you down.

I want to end this cycle through this COT 3 agreement. I want finally to be in a position to demand in the COT 3 agreement for factual references that were given about me and all this unofficial rubbish talk that has been dumped on me. Since I worked for a new employer (Y) and ultimately left, before getting to this point of COT 3 agreement with X, I am thinking I can ask my most recent employer Y, what X has said about me and any previous employers.

I do not know the rules, rights, employer's obligations and I want to make the most of it I am asking here what the best scenario would be. I do not want to fall in a situation where they just give brief dates of employment and job title. I want to get to the bottom of this degree of anonymity through which abuse happens. How to request this information from employer Y so that they are on my side and recognise the need to give names of the people and quote them on what they have said, i.e. official correspondence.

As with employer X, I would obviously have to see the wording of COT 3 and add my own text to request previous references. I want to know how far I can negotiate in this matter. If you were in my position how would you make sure these people come to light, their names are known and be accountable in the future for what information they provide? Can the clauses in the agreement prevent them in the future not to act against your interest?

[ULA]

As part of the COT3 you can agree a form of words that would be provided as a reference by the employer in this case employer x.

[mrstevenson]

Do you know what the timescale for the COT3 agreement preparation is, once both parties have agreed to proceed with this and ET hearing should be automatically cancelled.
My concilliator has not yet responded to my initial request to have a discussion and get more understanding on what can go in the wording and more information someone should know about COT3. I am waiting on the proposal of the employer for the wording.

If there is no time restriction at this stage I need to make sure the concilliator acts in my best interest. She has prepared some wording and has sent it to the employer for a review, however she said once she hears back from him she will forward it to me and I will be able to have my say on what I want, etc.

I want to make sure my interest is not getting compromised as when I review and add my request in the COT3 to be in a strong position of succeeding with the agreement.

The way the concilliator presented the story is the part when I am doing the review of the wording I should speak to the other party directly, which I am not sure whether this is the correct way or not. After all I need the support from ACAS to make sure my right is not breached, etc. Why is it that when it comes to the very last stage of negotiating/request (my review of the wording of COT3) she said she won't be involved in this process?

P.S. It is just a thing I learned is that I should ask and crosscheck when something like this comes up and I have a second thought. What raises my suspicion is the perceived denial from the concilliator to have a chat with me over the phone when I made several attempts of calling, it is the voice mail I am directed to. There were times when the line was free but no answer. She said she tried to call me, but I didn't receive any notification, though after her second claim she sent me an email and 3 min after that I attempted to call but it was again the voicemail that started.
There were no issues with the phone calls before, my voicemails were always answered. The concilliator became unapproachoable for a phone call just when it came to this stage (she has sent the draft COT3 wording to employer) - I preferred not to leave a voicemail and to have a conversation on the phone instead.

I know that I should probably wait to hear back from the employer, but I shouldn't be left in the dark like that. I need to have my proper discussion with the ACAS concilliator just to make sure and know more details, etc. like in a verbal contract and not get screwed over because I did not ask in the first place.

Thank you for reading my post!
Your thoughts, opinions and avice is highly appreciated.

[mrstevenson]

Just to clarify on the story above:

The concilliator sent me an email to notify me of the employer's offer of the sum I have requested subject to some wording in a COT3 agreement. I agreed to the sum via voice mail and the concilliator has prepared some draft wording which she has sent to the employer.

I haven't seen the draft wording and the drama comes from the fact that I will push for requests to go in the COT3 agreement and I want to discuss this with the concilliator but she is unresponsive.

[ULA]

What requests did you want to go into your COT3? Not having the full details of the case I am not sure what your claim is for but if you have been made an offer by your employer which you have agreed then the COT 3 will be drawn up on that basis. The purpose of the COT3 is to formally record the agreement that has been reached based on an offer being made to you and then your agreement to it.