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Child Custody Saga
Hi All,
I'm new to this, been looking for advice online without lawyer jargon and citizens advice taking too long to go through.
Basically, going through a divorce after 2 years separation. I have two young children I share custody in seperate houses with my ex.
Without sounding bitter, he spends most his time with them, not actually with them...... Out with friends, doing his own thing, playing sports, etc. But that's nothing I can have a say on or do anything about as its his time with the kids and as long as they are safe and happy, it is what it is.
The issue we have is as time goes on, we can't agree what's best for the kids and our 50/50 split gets unbalanced depending on my shifts. I try to be fair and offer flexible options that suit us both, but he will say that because my shifts vary and his are the same hours each week, it's more consistent to have a set routine and not keep changing it for the kids upheaval.
I totally get that in some respects. But we both work full time around school runs and childcare. Having every two days alternate with the kids just doesn't suit my shift patterns, but suits his work perfectly.
He won't agree mediation and has plenty of money, so isn't threatened by legal action. I may qualify for legal aid, but worse case, I'll loan money if needed. I just want it in writing that we have to have a fair split of time...... That suits both our lifestyles and means the kids see us both.
Some weeks I'll see them 3-4 days, other weeks 1-2 days and it's so hard but he will always say that's the rules and won't change to help accommodate my situation, even though the kids lose out.
Thanks in advance for any wisdom.
Jackie
I'm new to this, been looking for advice online without lawyer jargon and citizens advice taking too long to go through.
Basically, going through a divorce after 2 years separation. I have two young children I share custody in seperate houses with my ex.
Without sounding bitter, he spends most his time with them, not actually with them...... Out with friends, doing his own thing, playing sports, etc. But that's nothing I can have a say on or do anything about as its his time with the kids and as long as they are safe and happy, it is what it is.
The issue we have is as time goes on, we can't agree what's best for the kids and our 50/50 split gets unbalanced depending on my shifts. I try to be fair and offer flexible options that suit us both, but he will say that because my shifts vary and his are the same hours each week, it's more consistent to have a set routine and not keep changing it for the kids upheaval.
I totally get that in some respects. But we both work full time around school runs and childcare. Having every two days alternate with the kids just doesn't suit my shift patterns, but suits his work perfectly.
He won't agree mediation and has plenty of money, so isn't threatened by legal action. I may qualify for legal aid, but worse case, I'll loan money if needed. I just want it in writing that we have to have a fair split of time...... That suits both our lifestyles and means the kids see us both.
Some weeks I'll see them 3-4 days, other weeks 1-2 days and it's so hard but he will always say that's the rules and won't change to help accommodate my situation, even though the kids lose out.
Thanks in advance for any wisdom.
Jackie
