Tweet
Sir Ron McKlipklop, the chairman of RBS has told his shareholders that he is 'profoundly sorry for the current state of affairs of the bank'.
At the banks' annual Christmas luncheon, which is held weekly in a different 5-star hotel so as not to offend any particular hotel chain, Sir Tom was the first head of any banking institution in the country to admit that they are thieving *******s who have had almost 20 fantastic years duping the public and robbing their customers blind, while making fantastic profits and rendering many banking executives multi-millionaires.
In explaining why RBS had to run to the Government for help this year having made billions and billions of pounds profit during the previous couple of decades, Sir Ron summed it up in one word - "Greed". He said that because of the downturn in the economy, which was entirely the customers' fault, many banking executives would have to forgo some of the huge bonuses they previously received from £35 letters when customers went £2.37 overdrawn.
He said customers were becoming greedy in expecting to get back some of the excessive charges they had been levied by RBS over the years.
He continued by saying that the bank is only here to make a profit, not to serve or help its customers, and he apologised for any impression the customer might get that the RBS existed to help them.
He guaranteed that over the coming months, they will continue to overcharge on their customer fees and ensure that all the banks telephone contacts are through premium rate telephone numbers routed to overseas call centres where the workers are paid a pittance and haven't a clue how to speak to customers.
The Spoof : Royal Bank of Scotland apologises to customers funny satire story
At the banks' annual Christmas luncheon, which is held weekly in a different 5-star hotel so as not to offend any particular hotel chain, Sir Tom was the first head of any banking institution in the country to admit that they are thieving *******s who have had almost 20 fantastic years duping the public and robbing their customers blind, while making fantastic profits and rendering many banking executives multi-millionaires.
In explaining why RBS had to run to the Government for help this year having made billions and billions of pounds profit during the previous couple of decades, Sir Ron summed it up in one word - "Greed". He said that because of the downturn in the economy, which was entirely the customers' fault, many banking executives would have to forgo some of the huge bonuses they previously received from £35 letters when customers went £2.37 overdrawn.
He said customers were becoming greedy in expecting to get back some of the excessive charges they had been levied by RBS over the years.
He continued by saying that the bank is only here to make a profit, not to serve or help its customers, and he apologised for any impression the customer might get that the RBS existed to help them.
He guaranteed that over the coming months, they will continue to overcharge on their customer fees and ensure that all the banks telephone contacts are through premium rate telephone numbers routed to overseas call centres where the workers are paid a pittance and haven't a clue how to speak to customers.
The Spoof : Royal Bank of Scotland apologises to customers funny satire story
