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Some Jokes
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me", he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went across a river and into a forest of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, YES!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good," said the first bat, "because I didn't."
*********
The blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bottom deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" said the blonde, "I'll go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to her,
"This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container,
"To apply, push up bottom."
**********
An anagram is a word or phrase that is formed by changing the order of letters in another word or phrase e.g. triangle is an anagram of integral. Here are some more anagrams:
George Bush is an anagram of He bugs Gore
Dormitory is an anagram of Dirty Room
Evangelist is an anagram of Evil's Agent
Desperation is an anagram of A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code is an anagram of Here Come Dots
Slot Machines is an anagram of Cash Lost in em
Animosity is an anagram of Is No Amity
Mother-in-law is an anagram of Woman Hitler
Snooze Alarms is an anagram of Alas! No More Z's
Decimal Point is an anagram of I'm a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes is an anagram of That Queer Shake
Eleven plus two is an anagram of Twelve plus one
President Clinton of the USA is an anagram of To copulate he finds intern
"OK, follow me", he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went across a river and into a forest of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, YES!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good," said the first bat, "because I didn't."
*********
The blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bottom deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" said the blonde, "I'll go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to her,
"This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container,
"To apply, push up bottom."
**********
An anagram is a word or phrase that is formed by changing the order of letters in another word or phrase e.g. triangle is an anagram of integral. Here are some more anagrams:
George Bush is an anagram of He bugs Gore
Dormitory is an anagram of Dirty Room
Evangelist is an anagram of Evil's Agent
Desperation is an anagram of A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code is an anagram of Here Come Dots
Slot Machines is an anagram of Cash Lost in em
Animosity is an anagram of Is No Amity
Mother-in-law is an anagram of Woman Hitler
Snooze Alarms is an anagram of Alas! No More Z's
Decimal Point is an anagram of I'm a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes is an anagram of That Queer Shake
Eleven plus two is an anagram of Twelve plus one
President Clinton of the USA is an anagram of To copulate he finds intern
