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One minute we're on tenterhooks waiting for the Bank of England's latest decision on interest rates, and the next minute interest rates are yesterday's statistic.
Interest rates are over. That's how things are in a recession: crazy, unpredictable and - go on, admit it - kinda fun.
With interest rates as low as they've been since 1951 and set to go even lower, we now have one less financial measure to reckon with. How do I calculate the interest on my savings? Simple - you don't get any. How will the bank calculate the interest on my mortgage? From now on, they just make it up.
That may sound scary, but don't worry - there's plenty of good news for the pound-foolish: the mathematics of the new dispensation are geared to reward your sloth and justify your head-in-the-sand approach to personal finance. Securing a really good mortgage deal proved to be a total waste of time. The people who are doing best in terms of pension plans are the people who never quite got round to having a pension plan. Even putting money in the bank is suddenly a stupid idea.
If you're in a tremendous amount of debt, you can congratulate yourself for having had the foresight to borrow lots of money when they were still handing it out to anyone. If you bought a lot of stuff you couldn't afford, well, at least you have something to give the bailiffs when they come round. It's those of us who have experience of living hand to mouth, moment to moment and paycheque to paycheque who will suit this new climate. Our time has come.
Recession-busting tip: in a pinch, that shredded newspaper in the compost heap can be pieced back together and re-read. Sometimes it's comforting to recall happier times.
What's going cheap right now: international container shipping, fondue sets, crisps, sieves.
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