Child custody dispute

[Diana M]

Re: Child custody dispute

Social services have never attempted to remove My daughter from my care and her guardian also hinted to me 2 days ago that in order to keep my daughter, I would have to work closely with them.

It may be wise to work closely with your guardian even if only to get what you want from all this. What are they suggesting you should do to convince them that it's right for your daughter to live with you?

Di

[Diana M]

Re: Child custody dispute

I cannot afford a solicitor. I have a letter that states I suffered mental and emotional abuse in and since my marriage, but the solicitor that has this letter has not got back to me. It's been a week.

Although Legal Aid has been cut back, it's not totally unavailable. Situations which involve domestic abuse (including emotional and mental abuse) issues can sometimes get funding if evidence can be provided.

Maybe this is why the solicitor you consulted has been pursuing that avenue for you.

Di

[Daisyberwick]

Re: Child custody dispute

Residency was discussed and I said that I'd (on rare occasions) considered letting her live with her dad, but it's not what I really want and I knew that my daughter is very unhappy at his house. The chair then said 'shes 12!'
My ex translated that to mean I didn't have a choice. I translated that to mean, if it's what I wanted and agreed to that my daughter didn't have a choice. Social services have never attempted to remove My daughter from my care and her guardian also hinted to me 2 days ago that in order to keep my daughter, I would have to work closely with them.

[Daisyberwick]

Re: Child custody dispute

Hi. I have been accused of braking a curtain pole across her head. This did not happen. My daughter had been slamming the pole in the floor (which weakened it significantly) I then grabbed it from her and hit her arm with it. It broke because it had been weakened. The strike was not hard. There was no bruise and I am still very very sorry that it happened.

[Daisyberwick]

Re: Child custody dispute

Oh and I cannot afford a solicitor. I have a letter that states I suffered mental and emotional abuse in and since my marriage, but the solicitor that has this letter has not got back to me. It's been a week. I am very frightened that me ex will get inside my daughters head. I have heard from the guardian that my daughter is not happy at her fathers house so therefore will get to speak to the judge. My daughter is traumatised that she is completely missing out on her summer holidays.

[Daisyberwick]

Re: Child custody dispute

I am back. Thank you for all the support and comments. I'm still very confused and frightened. I have been told that if my ex has been given a temporary car order, that is the first step to him having full residency. My daughter will get to speak to the judge at the end of the holidays, but I'm afraid it might not be enough. She is on the protection register because of 'significant harm'. She is distraught at having to live with her dad. He is refusing to honour a hospital appointment that she has the day she is due back here.

[Diana M]

Re: Child custody dispute

Daisey if you're reading this thread you'll see that you've triggered any interesting debate on Mother's/Father's/Children's rights in general as seen through the eyes of academics not mothers scared they'll lose the child they love perhaps due to red tape and "the system".

My feeling is you are quite naturally seeking help and support on your particular situation and I'm confident that this forum will send you in the right direction.

Please come back and post so we can help you through this difficult time

Di x

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

Give the OP chance/time

Honestly, the details that are on here are enough, and would possibly not be wise for the OP to go into detail untill she has legal help
@Daisyberwick a few people that post on here have been through similar circumstances over the years ,
Firstly, you realy really need a solicitors help, just to protect yourself if the other side has a solicitor on it. ----- do that today----

Dealing with the s7/ and further with cafcass and social workers. You accept what happens, you understand it was wrong to go that far, but anyone whos been a parent of a child of around that age, especially going through a separation,, fully understand how far a kid ( without understanding the consequences ) can push things.

In my experience, in child court, the judges are very pragmatic and understanding, as long as your honest, and dealing with your situation. Also, were she goes to school and her normal routine will be a big part of any dissension fro the mo.

Although the social workers can seem very difficult towards you, make sure you communicate things by letter with them ( email ), push for meatings and try get a plan of action out of them. One of the failings i have seen from social workers in these situations is not getting enough time to deal with the situation before court, and that sometimes leaves the report they issue being one sided.

There are a few cases where children's rights are taken into account, but it just depends whether the dad has got into the daughter's head where she believes mum is a threat to her. Children's opinions are merely just one aspect of what a judge has to take into consideration.

[JulieM]

Re: Child custody dispute

I echo crazy councils point about getting a solicitor Asap to fight the case. I was not suggesting there was more hitting, unfortuneately imo socioeconomic circumstances can also have an impact on how social services work.

I hope owe the op is getting the help and representation they need

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

Give the OP chance/time

Honestly, the details that are on here are enough, and would possibly not be wise for the OP to go into detail untill she has legal help
@Daisyberwick a few people that post on here have been through similar circumstances over the years ,
Firstly, you realy really need a solicitors help, just to protect yourself if the other side has a solicitor on it. ----- do that today----

Dealing with the s7/ and further with cafcass and social workers. You accept what happens, you understand it was wrong to go that far, but anyone whos been a parent of a child of around that age, especially going through a separation,, fully understand how far a kid ( without understanding the consequences ) can push things.

In my experience, in child court, the judges are very pragmatic and understanding, as long as your honest, and dealing with your situation. Also, were she goes to school and her normal routine will be a big part of any dissension fro the mo.

Although the social workers can seem very difficult towards you, make sure you communicate things by letter with them ( email ), push for meatings and try get a plan of action out of them. One of the failings i have seen from social workers in these situations is not getting enough time to deal with the situation before court, and that sometimes leaves the report they issue being one sided.

We should have a debate about these sensitive matters (on another thread)....if there is need for a discussion. I think it's very insensitive to discuss here what are for the persons affected very personal matters.

[Crazy council]

Re: Child custody dispute

Give the OP chance/time

Honestly, the details that are on here are enough, and would possibly not be wise for the OP to go into detail untill she has legal help
[MENTION=88892]Daisyberwick[/MENTION] a few people that post on here have been through similar circumstances over the years ,
Firstly, you realy really need a solicitors help, just to protect yourself if the other side has a solicitor on it. ----- do that today----

Dealing with the s7/ and further with cafcass and social workers. You accept what happens, you understand it was wrong to go that far, but anyone whos been a parent of a child of around that age, especially going through a separation,, fully understand how far a kid ( without understanding the consequences ) can push things.

In my experience, in child court, the judges are very pragmatic and understanding, as long as your honest, and dealing with your situation. Also, were she goes to school and her normal routine will be a big part of any dissension fro the mo.

Although the social workers can seem very difficult towards you, make sure you communicate things by letter with them ( email ), push for meatings and try get a plan of action out of them. One of the failings i have seen from social workers in these situations is not getting enough time to deal with the situation before court, and that sometimes leaves the report they issue being one sided.

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

I see the OP has not been back, maybe 'discussions' between members has put her off.

Maybe be there is more to this than meets the eye, it seems very harsh to me for a child to be on the register after two cases of being hit. After all, although we may have signed the UN convention on the rights of the child, it is not a crime for a parent to use physical punishment.

All it takes is one complaint Juliem to get the social services involved. It is circumstantial as to why the Op has not yet returned, she most likely will be trying to look for remedies via legal aid. The local authorities since baby P/ others have to find the balance between protecting children via the register, and its surveillance, and making sure parents are not criminalised. Even a visit to the hospital where an injury looks like mum or dad/ other family member caused it, will trigger social services - this is why there should be legal reform in social work powers. However, whilst there is a risk of another baby P incident occurring, it seem very unlikely parents' rights will come into it. t's not just social workers - it's government targets - adoption rates; social worker personalities and the ego and power aspects. As I said, the state when in defensive mode is very unpleasant.

[JulieM]

Re: Child custody dispute

I see the OP has not been back, maybe 'discussions' between members has put her off.

Maybe be there is more to this than meets the eye, it seems very harsh to me for a child to be on the register after two cases of being hit. After all, although we may have signed the UN convention on the rights of the child, it is not a crime for a parent to use physical punishment.

[Openlaw15]

Re: Child custody dispute

Here's the thesis if everyone else wants to spend their time reading it: http://graphic-room.com/lizdavies/wp...april_2010.pdf

OpenLaw15, Lucy Reed's book was for the litigant in person in family courts and whilst not all of it is relevant, it is a book written by someone who is a lawyer who deals with Family Law everyday, she writes the Pink Tape family law blog, as well as being part of the Transparency Project.
In regards to social work not being uniform, I've been around various places on the tinterweb to know that and, having been through the process I know what a bunch of twonkers social workers can be. I've spoken to the good, the bad and the incompetent so I doubt any of us familiar with the practice of social work need to read a PhD thesis to know that that is the case.
I digress. I think the OP knows that the Child protection issues that she is going through is reviewed regularly(the first meeting would have polled the crowd and then the next meeting would have been penciled in).

Now, what Diana M has said is very much the case, the child is 12 years old and her view MUST be taken into consideration in regards to where she lives as her views will increasingly become important.

Personally, I think we need more info which is not already on this thread.

Did the child protection case conference consider the residency of the child at their initial meeting?

Being taken into account and being persuasive to judge's opinion is altogether different. The Op needs to prove she does not pose significant harm to said 12 year old as there is likely an automatic presumption that mother is (ie child's on protection register), well according to father's lawyer, and social workers she is, so it's for Op to rebut that presumption. The collective state is not pleasant when it's in defensive mode.

[leclerc]

Re: Child custody dispute

Yesterday I read a prominent social worker's PHD 2010 thesis which was also read by Parliament, that mentioned no safeguarding for parents who may have made a mistake in the past. I also came a cross a relevant human rights' case. It is apparent that social work practice differs depending where the family lives in the country or the particular local authority. It is therefore not uniform - the op's husband/ partner will be embracing 'the child protection register' as reasoning why Op is not fit to have joint custody. The child protection register is meant to be reviewed regularly for that matter.

Here's the thesis if everyone else wants to spend their time reading it: http://graphic-room.com/lizdavies/wp...april_2010.pdf

OpenLaw15, Lucy Reed's book was for the litigant in person in family courts and whilst not all of it is relevant, it is a book written by someone who is a lawyer who deals with Family Law everyday, she writes the Pink Tape family law blog, as well as being part of the Transparency Project.
In regards to social work not being uniform, I've been around various places on the tinterweb to know that and, having been through the process I know what a bunch of twonkers social workers can be. I've spoken to the good, the bad and the incompetent so I doubt any of us familiar with the practice of social work need to read a PhD thesis to know that that is the case.
I digress. I think the OP knows that the Child protection issues that she is going through is reviewed regularly(the first meeting would have polled the crowd and then the next meeting would have been penciled in).

Now, what Diana M has said is very much the case, the child is 12 years old and her view MUST be taken into consideration in regards to where she lives as her views will increasingly become important.

Personally, I think we need more info which is not already on this thread.

Did the child protection case conference consider the residency of the child at their initial meeting?