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Hi,
Currently have a situation where I am planning on stopping holiday access to my ex until some formal agreement can be reached (preferably without going to court or mediation).
A bit of background.
Me and my ex split when our little one was 18months old and it was verbally agreed that he could have the same access that he has with his son (with his ex)through a contact order. The access is 1 week at easter, 2 weeks in the summer and a week at xmas with access over weekends (this part isnt the issue). We also agreed that as she was so little it would be too much to spend this amount of time away from me at the moment so the weeks would be broken down so he would have extra during the week.
The first xmas - he had her after discussion of dates
First easter holidays - he had her after discussion of dates
First summer - he was taking his son away so could only have her for a week
Second xmas - he had her after discussion of dates
Second easter - He didnt have her and reason given was he wasnt having his son so wasnt taking any time off work
Second summer - He was taking his son away so could only have her for a week
Third Xmas - After asking for over a month to discuss when he was having her and not hearing from him. I made our plans for xmas, he then decided a week before xmas he wanted her xmas eve and said that my plans were irrelevant and he should have her xmas eve as I had her the year before. I didnt give in and he had her xmas day and a few more days as previous years
Third easter - he didnt have her reason given he was moving (he didnt move)
Third summer - NOW - Ive been asking for months to discuss when he is having her as she is older (4) and i need to arrange her childcare as she goes to school in September, and his parents who have her on a thursday have advised me they are going away with him and his son and will be unable to have our daughter as normal. He has finally gotten back to me to say he is only having her for 1 day as he has no holiday left as he is moving and he has taken time off to attend our daughters school session.
I am considering stopping his holiday access to her until we can come to some find of written agreement by which he sticks to. I will not stop him having her on weekend contact as our daughter has a great relationship with her dad and if I done that it would only be hurting her. What i dont understand is why he isnt taking her on holiday, he hasnt asked to take her, he hasnt even told me he isnt having her on his contact days either.
I am planning on writing a letter to him setting out what I would like going forward and any proposed changes he would like to make eg I would like mothers day with me, fathers day with him, special family occasions for us to be able to take our daughter to but to give the other parent 1 months notice things like that. If he doesnt respond to my letter, where do I go from there? is it only getting a solicitor involved? (I am unable to afford this). Also am I being unreasonable?
Help help or advice would be much appreciated and I apologise for the lengthly post.
Currently have a situation where I am planning on stopping holiday access to my ex until some formal agreement can be reached (preferably without going to court or mediation).
A bit of background.
Me and my ex split when our little one was 18months old and it was verbally agreed that he could have the same access that he has with his son (with his ex)through a contact order. The access is 1 week at easter, 2 weeks in the summer and a week at xmas with access over weekends (this part isnt the issue). We also agreed that as she was so little it would be too much to spend this amount of time away from me at the moment so the weeks would be broken down so he would have extra during the week.
The first xmas - he had her after discussion of dates
First easter holidays - he had her after discussion of dates
First summer - he was taking his son away so could only have her for a week
Second xmas - he had her after discussion of dates
Second easter - He didnt have her and reason given was he wasnt having his son so wasnt taking any time off work
Second summer - He was taking his son away so could only have her for a week
Third Xmas - After asking for over a month to discuss when he was having her and not hearing from him. I made our plans for xmas, he then decided a week before xmas he wanted her xmas eve and said that my plans were irrelevant and he should have her xmas eve as I had her the year before. I didnt give in and he had her xmas day and a few more days as previous years
Third easter - he didnt have her reason given he was moving (he didnt move)
Third summer - NOW - Ive been asking for months to discuss when he is having her as she is older (4) and i need to arrange her childcare as she goes to school in September, and his parents who have her on a thursday have advised me they are going away with him and his son and will be unable to have our daughter as normal. He has finally gotten back to me to say he is only having her for 1 day as he has no holiday left as he is moving and he has taken time off to attend our daughters school session.
I am considering stopping his holiday access to her until we can come to some find of written agreement by which he sticks to. I will not stop him having her on weekend contact as our daughter has a great relationship with her dad and if I done that it would only be hurting her. What i dont understand is why he isnt taking her on holiday, he hasnt asked to take her, he hasnt even told me he isnt having her on his contact days either.
I am planning on writing a letter to him setting out what I would like going forward and any proposed changes he would like to make eg I would like mothers day with me, fathers day with him, special family occasions for us to be able to take our daughter to but to give the other parent 1 months notice things like that. If he doesnt respond to my letter, where do I go from there? is it only getting a solicitor involved? (I am unable to afford this). Also am I being unreasonable?
Help help or advice would be much appreciated and I apologise for the lengthly post.
