Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

[Eloise01]

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

Miss FM who is Eloise?????

Me. Why?

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

I am only going to say this GS,,the advice you get on here is just that ADVICE..If you proceed with any course of legal action make sure you engage a FULLY QUALIFIED,INSURED,PROFESSIONAL,.. I can't stress that enough .

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

Miss FM who is Eloise?????

Dear GS - just realized that my last post will likely attract derision from CC - wasn't meant that way!

Please do keep asking/answering questions from PlanB and Eloise re non-fluffy law matters. They will give you good advice whether it is what you want to hear or not.

:hat:Chin up! x

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

I state again that I am not bitter; I don’t even ‘hate’ the girl. I am upset though, I feel let down by my friend. He did nothing for me and excised me like a cancer at first sign of possible trouble. Some friend right?

Greater self-love hath no man than this, that he should lay down his friends for his life.

[MissFM]

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

Dear GS - just realized that my last post will likely attract derision - wasn't meant that way!

Please do keep asking/answering questions re non-fluffy law matters. They will give you good advice here whether it is what you want to hear or not.

:hat:Chin up! x

[MissFM]

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

Hi GS! Well done on getting a toddler to knock you into shape - they are the best therapy! (take you back to the time "before the dreadful daylight starts/of unkept promises and broken hearts" - a time which is, IMHO, closer to what really matters) x

[GettingScrewed]

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

Firstand foremost, everyone on here is really…really nice. The advice and support isvery much appreciated and I point this out in these opening lines as it means alot that there are people out there willing to help others.

I state againthat I am not bitter; I don’t even ‘hate’ the girl. I am upset though, I feellet down by my friend. He did nothing for me and excised me like a cancer atfirst sign of possible trouble. Some friend right? As for the girl, no I do not‘hate’ her, but I am fully aware that she is candy-coated poison. I continue towear my heart on my sleeve as she wears her lies on hers. She is manipulative,she hides behind a mask of deceit, under which she conceals more faces than BigBen.

PlanB…I didindeed write and sign a resignation. I was hasty but I took 2 hours to do it. Ijust wasn’t sure if I wanted the trouble, and then if it did drag out and I wonthe case, then could I possibly cost everyone that works there their jobs? Iunderstand that they had no concern for me, but I attest that I am not thatvindictive. The entire meeting was flawed in my opinion. Even the letter was sovague in stating things like “at times…” I mean what times? What a vaguegeneralisation that opens it up for her to screw me when it suits her to do so.It stated “Over several months…” in our fallout ,yet had instances drawn from 3years ago one such being I the accusation of breaking up a relationship, yetshe asked my advice the entire way through it, and then asked me to comecelebrate her newly found singledom. Basically she took everything good I didfor her, things that really helped her, things that she appreciated and thenshe used them against me.

The mediationthing bothered me too. Why that was never even offered is a mystery to me? Itwas never on the table. I don’t get how you can just take one side of a storyand make a decision based on that, regardless of what I was going to say.

FlamingParrot...Thankyou for posting the link on Constructive Dismissal. I will have a thoroughread. I really appreciate it. Thank you.

Inca…I have noproblem with anyone knowing any details of the situation. I have nothing tohide. As I helped her, as I did things for her I told my employer at the time,he was my friend, so he knew I looked after her. Her version is certainly moresalacious than mine; to be honest I am surprised that a person can twist eventsas much as she has.

Looking over myprevious post some of the word spacing was a bit off, I’m not really sure whythat happened so I hope it doesn’t happen here. I am in my sister’s houseagain, and my 18 month old nephew is screaming,or at least attempting to screammy name while sitting in his Spider-Man car as he persistently crashes itagainst my right leg.

Always a kindword for MissFM who has always had kind words for me…Thank You. You have allgiven me your time and have helped both advise and distract.

I’ll try andcheck back in a few hours…no doubt the victim once again of infant Spider-Mancar road rage.

Edit: I can't seem to fix the word spacing...?

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

Bear in mind if you do challenge the result no doubt EVERYTHING that occurred between yourself and the young girl could be laid bare for all to see/hear and no doubt (as you have already stated) her version is a lot more salacious than yours. (50 shades -v-Mills and Boon) lol

[FlamingParrot]

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

It may be possible to claim Constructive Dismissal if the OP had no option but to resign -> http://www.worksmart.org.uk/rights/c...tive_dismissal

[PlanB]

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

I went for the 'outcome' today. I was informed that all notes were not typed and asked if I wanted to postpone the meeting. I said no "let's just do it". My employer asked to speak to me privately for a moment before the meeting. This then was off the record. I spoke with him and he told me that he was going to dismiss me. He then asked if I would like to quit? We talked as friends for a while . . . .

I was waiting for you to say that you may have been a little hasty in quitting your job yesterday. Who says you resigned? Did you put it in writing or did this take place in that private and off the record chat? And was the "disciplinary meeting" flawed if the notes (which were the company's evidence against you) weren't even typed up for you to see as admitted by your boss. You were in an emotional state without representation and a boss who may have been putting you under pressure to quit so as to save himself from the awkward situation (he was a personal family friend).That doesn't sound like a lawful disciplinary hearing to me :nono:

I think you need legal advice on Monday morning. Hopefully someone on here can point you in the right direction of a free helpline to establish your rights. Why wasn't mediation offered to you for starters?

[MissFM]

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

GS

As a purely personal observation - someone who wishes you well (very well indeed) but has no expertise on the legal issues: it is obvious that you are a talented and charismatic person - I believe you should cut your losses and move on (I've told you many times where I think you could have a new career) - but even if you don't do that you must not let this situation, which is now in the past, poison your life, become an obsession and poison your future. :croc:

[GettingScrewed]

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.


Hi MissFM, how's things? I'm in the far away land where the internet is a magic trick, so I'm at my sister's now as I send this...

So as I sat in the car with my parents today, snow falling, theonly reprieve from the deafening silence being Lionel Richie’s piano filled “HelloIs It Me You’re Looking For?” on the radio, I had a terrible sinking feeling.It was the worst I have ever felt. A sense of regret for the mistakes I made,for the unrelenting trust I gave and for perhaps being too lenient on thepeople involved in my public execution. I felt sorry for my employer too,though I feel there is just as much of my blood on his hands as the girl thatcaused this.
I think that I have no direction to turn from here. I thinkthat there are any options. I find as the more time I am removed from thesituation though, the more time I have to think about the whole ordeal, theangrier I become. Basically the girl made accusations against me and I lost myjob…albeit I quit, though the result was the same. I was given no support inthe matter and my employer/friend actually told me he was advised to dismiss meand just “pay a fine” if need be. It was just as I had feared that I was aconviction waiting to happen. My fears were justified.

My question at this point is do I have any options? I meanafter I resigned? I did so because I didn’t want the mark against me name but haveI any legal comeback from this point? I can hardly claim unfair dismissal butcan I claim anything? I will probably call a solicitor on Monday, but is thereany point or am I wasting time on an already finished situation?

I was treated so badly during through the entire thing. Ihad suggested article 44 of the ACAS procedures that stated the meeting perhapsbe suspended if I raised a grievance based on the fact I disagreed with her statementsand I was told that I had no right to do that. I also suggested that I wasbeing ‘vicariously harassed’ and this too didn’t seem to carry much weight. It’sa done deal at this point, and in the end I was a friend to my friend one lasttime which is more than he did for me. I am not becoming bitter and aspreviously stated I will not even ‘hate’ the girl, though I find it unfair thata single person can have a disagreement, make a complaint of harassment and I’mjust sunk with no one willing to hear my version of events. It seems as soon asshe said it I was done.

I think what botheredmy employer too was that the staff basically told him that I run the place.That he might sign the checks, cross the T’s and dot the I’s but I ran theplace. I think that didn’t sit well with him. I mean how could any employerlike to hear that. A train of thought he himself had helped perpetuate bytelling a staff member once that she was “lucky that he was standing in frontof her and not someone else”. This is based on discipline alone. He was alwayshappy for me to get my hands dirty for him, but then didn’t like the fact thatI got more respect for it.

I any appreciate any advice anyone can give me from thispoint?

Thanks…

[MissFM]

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

Hello GS - How's it going? :usa2:

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

Steady on the tiller there GS - time to move on! I'm going to turn in shortly - WAS going to have a hot water bottle cos it's bloody freezing here but am in two minds after what I've learnt here today. x

Quite.

Klismaphilia isn't for everyone; for example, I believe I'd find it a washout.

Re: Accused of Harassment and Bullying...Please help.

This is awesome! I was at the University of North Dakota and had lectures with Greg Gagnon and Dr. Donald Fixaco who was Clinton's head of Indian Affairs in the US during his term in office. The People of North and South Dakota do refer to themselves as the Sioux...though the stereotypical mascot thing is up for debate. UND's Hockey team is the Fighting Sioux and the $150 million dollar hockey arena was funded by a guy named Ralph Englestad. He threatened to remove his funding and maintenance if they removed the team name.

I'm sure there's a joke in there, somewhere, about boys named Sioux.