chat up lines to die for

[Delta]

I once got the 'here's 10p love, phone your mum and tell her you won't be home tonight'

It didn't work

The one that did was the one my other half came out with, I had been getting freaky texts (on my own phone!) from some guy, so to put him off I sent one back saying 'yea ok, but it's £100 an hour and I only do 2 hour slots'

Was telling them at work about it and he (my now other half) asked me if I did half hours and if there was any staff discount.

Needless to say, he won me over.

[cinders]

Oh Ruthie.....
Had you been drinking again.
The demon alcahol has that effect on my eyes too.

Best wishes,
Hod..Liam..

Drink? me? never!

I was completely sober and had just been to pick up a prescription actually....

He commented on my nails too but I was too busy walking away to hear what he said!

x

[Koenigsegg]

i tried this on my mates sister about 16 years ago after several pints of super strength home brew

`Do you swallow?`

Hint! it pays to always keep ya mouth open when insulting a lady lol

[Imagine]

Get your coat luv you've pulled.

Sad but true............... I'm still with the prat who said this fourteen years later!!!!

[Nattie]

hedgey, we have divorce papers on here

[Imagine]

Lol............ don't tempt me Nattie!!!!

I'll wait till me cash comes through 'eh!!!!

[Nattie]

Better for all concerned

[LuggerBugs]

i tried this on my mates sister about 16 years ago after several pints of super strength home brew

`Do you swallow?`

Hint! it pays to always keep ya mouth open when insulting a lady lol

My mate tried that one in Yarmouth a few years ago. To which she repied...

"Course I do. I ain't gonna spit it out on the carpet."

[TANZARELLI]

You have the most lovely hair! May I finger you?

PMSL PMSL PML

That made me roar nattie.

[Xena]

My mate tried that one in Yarmouth a few years ago. To which she repied...

"Course I do. I ain't gonna spit it out on the carpet."

pmsl pmsl

[Koenigsegg]

"You're so beautiful you should be embalmed"

Didn`t work unfortunately

[mistie]

no bloody wonder

[veilside01702]

My friend stood outside ladies toilet in a nightclub and said, " Did you have a nice s**t?"....
The girl actually laughed and he spent the rest of the night kissing her......
So my other friend tried it.......He is a bodybuilder and is huge......He got slapped extremely hard......and just stood there in shock.......lol
Was worth the windup.....
He didn't know my first friend already knew the girl and it was a setup......lol
What an idiot.......lol

[veilside01702]

Another one.....
"How do you like your eggs in the morning??"
"Fertilised or Unfertilised??"
For me this wouldn't work.....
My sperm swim as well as steven hawkins.......
In his wheelchair......lol

[veilside01702]

Yet more.....
"My face is leaving town in 2 minutes.....be on it!"
" Have you ever made love for hours at a time?"...."Come for a drive with me and seconds will feel like hours!".......
"What's your favourite position?".......to which she replied.....center forward....well it was an essex girl.......lol
" Have you been waiting for me long?"......the response was..."No A****les are like bus's.....if you wait long enough one will be along!".......ooopppss.....
The one that seemed to work was.....
"My friends decided to go out on pull a pig night.......But as soon as I saw you I wanted to lose in style".........just proves something about essex girls......