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Dad Jokes :)

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  • #16
    Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I'm ok, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
    Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

    It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

    recte agens confido

    ~~~~~

    Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

    I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
    But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

    Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

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    • #17
      What’s a couple?’ I asked my mum. She said, ‘Two or three’. Which probably explains why her marriage collapsed.

      Comment


      • #18
        What do you call the security guards who work at the Samsung store?
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .

        Guardians of the Galaxy.
        Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

        It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

        recte agens confido

        ~~~~~

        Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

        I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
        But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

        Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

        Comment


        • #19
          What goes 99 clump 99 clump 99 clump?

          Centipede with a wooden leg!
          PLEASE NOTE: I work irregular hours including nights and sleep in shifts. If I have not responded in 48 hours, please ask an admin to Messenger me!

          "If you ever feel alone, remember, I am just the other side of the rainbow, or just south of the North Star. Whichever is closer." - A.J Murphy. 17/3/1974 - 16/03/1997 (RIP babe <3)

          Comment


          • #20
            Father: “Son, you were adopted.”

            Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”

            Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by Setmefree3 View Post
              Father: “Son, you were adopted.”

              Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”

              Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”
              OMG that's hilarious!

              PLEASE NOTE: I work irregular hours including nights and sleep in shifts. If I have not responded in 48 hours, please ask an admin to Messenger me!

              "If you ever feel alone, remember, I am just the other side of the rainbow, or just south of the North Star. Whichever is closer." - A.J Murphy. 17/3/1974 - 16/03/1997 (RIP babe <3)

              Comment


              • #22
                What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Why did the mermaid wear seashells? Because the B-shells were too small and the D-shells were too big!
                  Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

                  It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

                  recte agens confido

                  ~~~~~

                  Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                  I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
                  But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

                  Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    I’ve deleted the phone numbers of all the Germans I know from my mobile phone. Now it’s Hans free.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      How many D's are in Match of the Day?

                      Hundreds... D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D
                      PLEASE NOTE: I work irregular hours including nights and sleep in shifts. If I have not responded in 48 hours, please ask an admin to Messenger me!

                      "If you ever feel alone, remember, I am just the other side of the rainbow, or just south of the North Star. Whichever is closer." - A.J Murphy. 17/3/1974 - 16/03/1997 (RIP babe <3)

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        What do you call a fake noodle? An Im-pasta!
                        Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

                        It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

                        recte agens confido

                        ~~~~~

                        Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                        I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
                        But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

                        Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by slainte caragh View Post
                          How many D's are in Match of the Day?

                          Hundreds... D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D
                          I don't get it lol. Something to do with the theme tune?
                          #staysafestayhome

                          Any support I provide is offered without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                          Received a Court Claim? Read >>>>> First Steps

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Amethyst View Post

                            I don't get it lol. Something to do with the theme tune?
                            Yeh, sing the theme tune
                            PLEASE NOTE: I work irregular hours including nights and sleep in shifts. If I have not responded in 48 hours, please ask an admin to Messenger me!

                            "If you ever feel alone, remember, I am just the other side of the rainbow, or just south of the North Star. Whichever is closer." - A.J Murphy. 17/3/1974 - 16/03/1997 (RIP babe <3)

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odour in the court.
                              Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

                              It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

                              recte agens confido

                              ~~~~~

                              Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                              I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
                              But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

                              Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Ahhhhhh yes remember that from primary school now - up there with knock knock, doctor who lol
                                #staysafestayhome

                                Any support I provide is offered without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                                Received a Court Claim? Read >>>>> First Steps

                                Comment

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