Dad Jokes :)

[Setmefree3]

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field

[Setmefree3]

I invited miss setmefree3 to the gym with me and then didn’t turn up. I hope she gets the message that we’re not working out.

[Setmefree3]

To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft office, I will get you!! You have my word.

[Kati]

I'll apologise for this one in advance lol

Why is there a wall around the cemetery? Because people are dying to get in.

[paulajayne]

Mum Joke ;-

The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been out hunting all day.

When they stopped to take a rest,

Tonto placed his ear to the ground and listened.

"Buffalo come," remarked Tonto.

"How can you tell that , Tonto?" asked the Lone Ranger.



"Face sticky."

[Kati]

Mum Joke ;-

The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been out hunting all day.

When they stopped to take a rest,

Tonto placed his ear to the ground and listened.

"Buffalo come," remarked Tonto.

"How can you tell that , Tonto?" asked the Lone Ranger.



"Face sticky."

Love it

[Setmefree3]

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador.

[Setmefree3]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

[Setmefree3]

What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.

[Setmefree3]

What is the definition of suspicion? A nun doing press-ups in a cucumber field.

[Setmefree3]

Yesterday I got a photo from a speeding camera through the post. I sent it right back – way too expensive and really bad quality.

[charitynjw]

Neanderthal man had often wondered where the big yellow ball in the sky went, when it dropped behind the mountain.
One day he decided to go over to have a look.
Couldn't find it anywhere.
All through the cold, dark night, he pondered over the dilemma.
Suddenly it dawned on him......

[charitynjw]

Have you ever wondered........

.......where does the dark go when you switch the light on?

[charitynjw]

My name is Fred Fernackerpan,
I walk about the town,
Sometimes with my trousers up
And sometimes with them down.
And when they were up, they were up,
And when they were down, they were down
And when they were only half way up,


I was arrested.

Spike Milligan

[Phaeton]

I don't do poetry but some of Spike Milligan's were fantastic, my favourite is String

String is a
Very important thing
Rope is thicker
But string is quicker.