Conversation with HFC Collections...

[Mad Hatter]

Had a call yesterday as i forgot to pay my Marbles CC last month.. I had great fun winding this girl up...

HFC: Can I speak to Mr Hatter please
MH: Who’s calling?
HFC: mm Its personal. Can I speak to Mr Hatter please
MH: Maybe, if you tell me who’s calling
HFC: Its HFC collections.
MH: Your speaking to Mr H
HFC: I am calling to collect the outstanding balance of ÂŁ70. Can I take your debit card details please.
MH: Nope. I will be paying it on Friday.
HFC: Mr H, you do realise you are 2 weeks behind?
MH: Yep
HFC: And you have been charged for being late?
MH: Yep
HFC: Oh and it doesn’t bother you?
MH: Sorry? What kind of question is that.
HFC: We need immediate payment now.
MH: I’m sure you do but I want to take my wife out for a slap up meal, and she is more important.
HFC: But you owe us money.
MH: Yep
HFC: But we will call you every day until its paid.
MH: Excellent, I look forward to your call tomorrow then. In fact, give me your number and I will call you and tell you I will pay it Friday.
HFC: ( now she is irate) We are recording this call.
MH: excellent, so am i.
HFC: You can’t do that.
MH: Says who?
HFC: That’s illegal.
MH: Oh so now you are an expert on English law are you? I think you will find you are mistaken. If you were an expert you would also know that charging me £12 is unlawful…
HFC: You signed the contract when you opened the account.
MH: yes I did. And now I know that you are charging me an unlawful amount.
HFC: Silence
MH: hello, are you still there? Can I ask where you are calling from? Is it London or Delhi?
HFC: Er London
MH: Oh right, the Wolverhampton address?
HFC: Er yes.
MH: Ok so you lie also..
At this point she starts shouting at me down the phone and finally hangs up….

Oh the satisfaction…..

[Amethyst]

ROFL I luv ya Mad xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Brightened up my morning !

[Mad Hatter]

Can't wait for todays call... have decided to fit in as many lyrics from ELO's Telephone Line as i can.....

[Amethyst]

ohhh dare ya to say them in order pmsl


she might think you're coming on to her tho

and i cant wait for the dooby dooby wop wop bit if you get that far !

[Delta]

Loverly, me likeeee

I had a great one with Central Trust a few months ago, he was ranting at me about not earning enough to pay them..

me... I'm self employed and cannot commit to a certain amount, cos I can't predict from week to week what I will earn.

him.... then I suggest you get a proper job

me... what, like you have, I bet your mum is so proud of your career choice, phonine people up to be condescending to them.

him... get another job then.

me... are you offeriing to babysit my kids free of charge then? you available for the 6 weeks holiday in summer.

him.... havent you got any family that can look after them.

me... no, not that lives near me, shall i put them up for adoption then?

him.. you need to pay this or we will put a default on your file, and you know what a bad mark means on your credit file

me.... no, what?

him... that you will not be able to borrow any more money ever again

me... ok, but I think you mean for 6 years

him... but you wont be able to get credit

me... fine

him, does that not bother you

me... nope

him... but but but... you wont be able to get a mortgage

me... thats ok I have one thanks

he really couldn't get his head round the fact that his threats meant nothing to me

[Mad Hatter]

Hate these people with a passion.. but you can have great fun with them can't you... especially when you don't pay and they don't get any commission...

[cinders]

I just like to say...

"sorry I dont have a telephone" and hang up, they have never once rung back when I have used that one!

xx

[Amethyst]

pmsl bet that flumoxes them

[RLJ]

Brilliant Mad, Tape some really crap music, tell them you are just going to put them on hold leave the music playing and go and have a cup of tea and a biscuit! I bet when you come back they will have gone.

RLJ