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A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time . . ..
I knew a man who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a train. He was chuffed to bits.
I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance. Not being one to disappoint I gave her a big push and she fell over.
A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said . . .. 'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! Sod this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it!
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner; took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
I knew a man who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a train. He was chuffed to bits.
I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance. Not being one to disappoint I gave her a big push and she fell over.
A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said . . .. 'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! Sod this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it!
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner; took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
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