Friday smile

[enaid]

My wife came home yesterday and said, “Honey, the car won’t start, but I know what the problem is.”
I asked her what it was, and she told me there was water in the carburetor. I thought for a moment, then said, “You know, I don’t mean this offensively, but you don’t know the carburetor from the accelerator.”
“No, there’s definitely water in the carburetor,” she insisted.
“OK Honey, that’s fine, I’ll just go take a look. Where is it?”
“In the lake.”

[righty]

Re: Friday smile

Chap: goes to the dentist "I've got a terrible tooth ache can you help"

Dentist: "certainly sit there"

Dentist then begins to prepare the needle syringe to inject pain relief

Chap: "Oh no I can't stand a needle they make me faint"

Dentist then begins to prepare the use of gas

Chap: "Oh no I can't take gas it makes me sick"

Dentist then asks "can you take a pill"

Chap: "Oh yes, no problem with a pill"

Dentist "OK take this viagra"

Chap: "I didn't know viagra was an anaesthetic"

Dentist "It isn't but it'll give you something to hang onto when I pull your teeth":tinysmile_grin_t:

[wales01man]

Re: Friday smile

An Irishman buys a new car in London to take back to Ireland Driving down the M4 the car breaks down after a 100 miles so he calls the AA .
AA man fixes car Irishman asks Whats the problem?

AA man says shite in the Carburettor to which the Irishman relies my god do I have to do that every hundred miles

Boom Boom

[PAWS]

Re: Friday smile

3 women chatting.
First woman says “My uncle is a Bishop and everyone says ‘your grace’ when he comes in to a room.
Second woman not to be out done says “My uncle is a Cardinal and everyone says ‘your eminence’ when he comes into a room.
Third woman sneers and says “Ha! That’s nothing. My uncle weighs 30 stones and everyone says ‘god almighty’ when he comes into a room.

[des8]

Re: Friday smile

Out at liquid lunch today, chatting to an older boy who was telling us about his farming experiences in early fifties.
As he had suffered a stroke his speech was a bit slurred, added to which we were speaking Welsh and mine isn't that strong.
He'd been describing a champion milk giver (over 10 gallons a day) and made a comment which I didn't catch.
On being asked to repeat it he said "Her name was over her stall .... Amethyst"
I cracked up and my wife said "You'd never believe it looking at her avatar" and then she challenged me to repeat it here.
So I have..... and to stay in good books "you're both champions"

[Kati]

Re: Friday smile

@@@@@

[Tools]

Re: Friday smile

Out at liquid lunch today, chatting to an older boy who was telling us about his farming experiences in early fifties.
As he had suffered a stroke his speech was a bit slurred, added to which we were speaking Welsh and mine isn't that strong.
He'd been describing a champion milk giver (over 10 gallons a day) and made a comment which I didn't catch.
On being asked to repeat it he said "Her name was over her stall .... Amethyst"
I cracked up and my wife said "You'd never believe it looking at her avatar" and then she challenged me to repeat it here.
So I have..... and to stay in good books "you're both champions"

PMSL I didn't see this earlier, absolutely brilliant Des and full marks to your wife

[Amethyst]

Re: Friday smile

Out at liquid lunch today, chatting to an older boy who was telling us about his farming experiences in early fifties.
As he had suffered a stroke his speech was a bit slurred, added to which we were speaking Welsh and mine isn't that strong.
He'd been describing a champion milk giver (over 10 gallons a day) and made a comment which I didn't catch.
On being asked to repeat it he said "Her name was over her stall .... Amethyst"
I cracked up and my wife said "You'd never believe it looking at her avatar" and then she challenged me to repeat it here.
So I have..... and to stay in good books "you're both champions"

OMG !!! I have only just read this (mainly because Jules just starting cracking up at his laptop!) ......

[PAWS]

Re: Friday smile

Probably the worst album covers ever!

[Kati]

Re: Friday smile

I love the look on this dog's face :lol:

[PAWS]

Re: Friday smile

Some doctor on TV this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished so I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prungles, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valiuminun scriptins, the res of the chesescke an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feel rite now. Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr pisss. An telum,u blody luvum.!!

[righty]

Re: Friday smile

Two blokes walking along when one says "my wife's an angel" other one says "your very lucky mines still alive" boom boom

[PAWS]

Re: Friday smile

I know it is not Friday but ….continuing on the scary album covers theme…..

[MissFM]

Re: Friday smile

Paws that's :fear:...erm... :hand: ..is it for real? mslx

[Kati]

Re: Friday smile

Paws that's :fear:...erm... :hand: ..is it for real? mslx

yup :lol: