Threat of a Money Claim

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

she is demanding back is £6000 which I apparently have in my account from my dad's life insurance money. She originally put £20,000 of this money into my account and I sent £14,000 of this back to her on the first day that the breakdown of our relationship happened. She seems to think that I have the missing £6000, although she seems to conveniently be forgetting the £4000 stairs she just put in and the money she spent on Christmas using this money. . . .

. . . Would she be able to claim for the £6000 as it was in a bank account in my name? I am sure I can prove that she spent this money herself from the date of receipts for the stairs and my statements should show that the money was transferred to her account.

She can make a court claim whenever she feels like it but whether she succeeds or not will be decided by whether she's actually owed the money. This complicated scenario of your late father's life insurance money may be at the root of all this.

You say £20k was paid into your bank account. What was the reason for this unless you were the beneficiary and not her (his wife)? I'm not prying I'm simply trying to establish whether she may have a legal case.

Also can you explain a bit more about the £4k staircase. Do you mean you paid for it on her behalf out of the £6k left in your bank account after you gave her £14k of the life insurance money? Whose name is on the invoice and receipt for the stairs - yours or hers? Is the house in your mother's sole name or is it jointly owned by you (and perhaps your brother)? I ask this in case there is some relevance to do with a perceived 'investment' in the property of £4k's worth of improvements.

A lot will depend on whether the £20k which was deposited in your bank was a 'gift' from your mother or a life insurance pay-out due to you or due to your mother.

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

She can make a court claim whenever she feels like it but whether she succeeds or not will be decided by whether she's actually owed the money. This complicated scenario of your late father's life insurance money may be at the root of all this.You say £20k was paid into your bank account. What was the reason for this unless you were the beneficiary and not her (his wife)? I'm not prying I'm simply trying to establish whether she may have a legal case. Also can you explain a bit more about the £4k staircase. Do you mean you paid for it on her behalf out of the £6k left in your bank account after you gave her £14k of the life insurance money? Whose name is on the invoice and receipt for the stairs - yours or hers? Is the house in your mother's sole name or is it jointly owned by you (and perhaps your brother)? I ask this in case there is some relevance to do with a perceived 'investment' in the property of £4k's worth of improvements.A lot will depend on whether the £20k which was deposited in your bank was a 'gift' from your mother or a life insurance pay-out due to you or due to your mother.

The £20K was paid into my bank account via a cheque from my mother's account. This was put in my instant-access savings account so that we could have access to it at all times whilst she is renovating the house and needed to make withdrawals. It wasn't a gift, just a safe place to keep the money where it could easily be used.What I mean by the £4K staircase is that she originally put in £20K, I sent back £14K to her the day after/the night she drove off without me (I don't remember which day off-hand) and she has assumed that I have either spent the missing £6K or that I still have it in my account, keeping it for myself. However, I have done neither. The "missing" £6K has dribbled out of the account through her spending, the biggest of which was when she asked me to withdraw the £4K for the staircase. The other £2K has gone on monthly expenditure, various other small home improvement costs and Christmas presents. She has either forgotten about this or "forgotten" about this.These transactions were either withdrawn in cash from the account, sent via online bank transfer to her bank account or sent via online bank transfer to our joint credit card.Her name is on the invoice and receipt for the stairs. The house is in her name.

[CleverClogs]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I think that psychoanalysis may be appropriate.

I've fixed your post for you.

She's plainly round the twist.

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

The £20K was paid into my bank account via a cheque from my mother's account. This was put in my instant-access savings account so that we could have access to it at all times whilst she is renovating the house and needed to make withdrawals. It wasn't a gift, just a safe place to keep the money

Do you think there may have been another reason why your mother placed this money into an account in your name and not hers? Why didn't she simply open her own instant access account?

[CleverClogs]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Your Mum has lost her husband (he sadly died)

Would his demise have been less traumatic if he'd died laughing?

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

PlanB, I honestly don't know. Possibly because she knows she's not very good with money and she fritters it. It does seem a bit weird now but at the time that's just what we decided to do.

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

The "missing" £6K has dribbled out of the account through her spending . . . . £2K has gone on monthly expenditure, various other small home improvement costs and Christmas presents. She has either forgotten about this or "forgotten" about this.These transactions were either withdrawn in cash from the account, sent via online bank transfer to her bank account or sent via online bank transfer to our joint credit card.

If she's "forgotten" about her expenditure then you should remind her

Any transactions made online will show on the instant access account statements. Maybe send her a copy of those showing where the money went. Ditto the credit card statements. It's not possible to have a joint credit card but you can have a credit card account in a sole name with an additional card holder. Who is the account holder of this credit card?

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I'm the account holder of the credit card, she's the additional account holder. When I've called up the call centre for other things they are able to tell which one of us carried out a transaction, so I'm sure they could send me these details if needed.

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

I'm the account holder of the credit card, she's the additional account holder. When I've called up the call centre for other things they are able to tell which one of us carried out a transaction, so I'm sure they could send me these details if needed.

They will be needed

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Possibly because she knows she's not very good with money and she fritters it. It does seem a bit weird now but at the time that's just what we decided to do.

It doesn't seem weird at all. It looks as if you were helping her with her finances following her husband's death. Maybe he handled all that stuff when he was alive. My father did everything, and my mother had no idea what he even earned.

[CleverClogs]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

It's not possible to have a joint credit card but you can have a credit card account in a sole name with an additional card holder. Who is the account holder of this credit card?

If powerchord is the account holder, it might be wise to get mumsy removed as an additional card holder - and to do that PDQ!

[powerchord]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

Already taken care of!

[enquirer]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

... but knowing her that would make her angry.

My mother is what I would call a "passionate" woman. She acts first, thinks later although nothing like this has ever happened before. She usually just says hurtful things in the heat of the moment and we make up afterwards.

A vicious streak, it seems.

This is definately the manifestation of an obssessive, controlling personality. I suspect that mediation will lay you open to more manipulation, more mind games, and more hurt.

Walk right over her, and get away. Once away, stay away.

If she does claim, how would I state that I feel it is malicious? On the initial defence form or would it have to wait til court?

Essentially, your defence is that the claim is 'without foundation'. You show this to be so in your defence by attaching copies of receipts, proof of transfers, etcetera. Compare and contrast what she says and claims, with what you have. Prove that you owe her nothing and that she is lying.

Then, and only then, may you make a passing observation to the effect that this may be not unrelated to your impending marriage and her evident desire to frustrate it. That suggests malice.

These transactions were either withdrawn in cash from the account, sent via online bank transfer to her bank account or sent via online bank transfer to our joint credit card.

These don't sound like the actions of a financial incompetent.

You've already got her off the credit card, now make sure that there are no other financial connections which might be used to strike at you. Make sure that you have your birth certificate, passport and so on. These have a habit of 'disappearing' in cases like this.

[Inca]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

How long ago did all this take place?

[PlanB]

Re: Threat of a Money Claim

A vicious streak, it seems. This is definately the manifestation of an obssessive, controlling personality.

. . . . Prove that you owe her nothing and that she is lying.

Then, and only then, may you make a passing observation to the effect that this may be not unrelated to your impending marriage and her evident desire to frustrate it. That suggests malice.

. . . . Make sure that you have your birth certificate, passport and so on. These have a habit of 'disappearing' in cases like this.

Good grief, that's a massive assumption :eek2: There are two sides to every story.

Mothers and daughters falling out is not a new phenomenon especially in the run-up to a wedding. I hope this recent incident is a one-off which can be mended. That certainly seems to be what the OP wants which is why she's considering a reply to her mother's letter.