Want to help a neighbour

[Superconfused]

I have two neighbours, one is a single mother struggling to make ends meet with two small kids, and another is doing really well for himself with two expensive cars, premium wood decking, nice holidays etc. I try to help the single mother out by giving her lifts and inviting her and the kids over the BBQs, but I'm thinking; would it be wrong to just coerce my wealthy neighbour to just give her some money, assuming the single mother is OK with it?

[nemesis45]

Re: Want to help a neighbour

I have two neighbours, one is a single mother struggling to make ends meet with two small kids, and another is doing really well for himself with two expensive cars, premium wood decking, nice holidays etc. I try to help the single mother out by giving her lifts and inviting her and the kids over the BBQs, but I'm thinking; would it be wrong to just coerce my wealthy neighbour to just give her some money, assuming the single mother is OK with it?

Welcome to LB,
Coercion is not a pleasant matter to consider " persuasion by mean of force and or threats" likely to get you into some unwanted trouble!

It is good of you to attempt to help the single mum but this in not the way to go about it.

nem

[Superconfused]

Re: Want to help a neighbour

Point taken.

What if everybody in the street got a say and we had a vote, so that if 60% (there's only 10 houses) agreed, then the one or two with lots of money to spare can be forced to help out the family in need?

[nemesis45]

Re: Want to help a neighbour

Point taken.

What if everybody in the street got a say and we had a vote, so that if 60% (there's only 10 houses) agreed, then the one or two with lots of money to spare can be forced to help out the family in need?

No one should be forced into anything that is not charity it's extortion!!

nem

- - - Updated - - -

Point taken.

What if everybody in the street got a say and we had a vote, so that if 60% (there's only 10 houses) agreed, then the one or two with lots of money to spare can be forced to help out the family in need?

No one should be forced into anything that is not charity it's extortion!!

nem

[enaid]

Re: Want to help a neighbour

I have two neighbours, one is a single mother struggling to make ends meet with two small kids, and another is doing really well for himself with two expensive cars, premium wood decking, nice holidays etc. I try to help the single mother out by giving her lifts and inviting her and the kids over the BBQs, but I'm thinking; would it be wrong to just coerce my wealthy neighbour to just give her some money, assuming the single mother is OK with it?

Fact of life and human nature, if the said neighbour who is comfortable offers any help it should be his own decision and a private matter imho.

[Amethyst]

Re: Want to help a neighbour

lol @ premium wood decking .... it could be cheap decking just installed well - expensive cars could be on finance and the holidays might be on credit cards - you can't judge by appearances, and no, if your neighbour wants to help out he will of his own accord, I think it would be quite gutting for her if she ever found out one of her neighbours had approached another and asked them to help her out. It's lovely that you care about her and are helping out where you can, but that is your choice and if you feel burdened by it as you seem to by feeling your other neighbour should 'do their bit' then maybe you should be stepping back a little bit.

What if everybody in the street got a say and we had a vote, so that if 60% (there's only 10 houses) agreed, then the one or two with lots of money to spare can be forced to help out the family in need?

Goodness, that would be utterly mortifying.

[Superconfused]

Re: Want to help a neighbour

Makes sense I suppose, but having just got loads of advertising by various political organisations I was thinking - if they can do it, why can't we? I've never voted for the party who currently run the council, and I think turn-out for local elections is actually less than 50%. Some people probably don't even want a local council, nevermind the party who've been in control for goodness knows how long, yet we're all stuck with them. They also take money off us too and use it for benefits, schools etc. At least in our case we would have a majority and nobody is taking a cut. Maybe there's a step missing in my reasoning?

[nemesis45]

Re: Want to help a neighbour

Makes sense I suppose, but having just got loads of advertising by various political organisations I was thinking - if they can do it, why can't we? I've never voted for the party who currently run the council, and I think turn-out for local elections is actually less than 50%. Some people probably don't even want a local council, nevermind the party who've been in control for goodness knows how long, yet we're all stuck with them. They also take money off us too and use it for benefits, schools etc. At least in our case we would have a majority and nobody is taking a cut. Maybe there's a step missing in my reasoning?

Charity in what ever form cannot and must not be seen as an " obligation" it is the free choice of any potential donor.

nem

[Snoopy1948]

Re: Want to help a neighbour

I have two neighbours, one is a single mother struggling to make ends meet with two small kids, and another is doing really well for himself with two expensive cars, premium wood decking, nice holidays etc. I try to help the single mother out by giving her lifts and inviting her and the kids over the BBQs, but I'm thinking; would it be wrong to just coerce my wealthy neighbour to just give her some money, assuming the single mother is OK with it?

Hi Superconfused ...

Having met this situation many times. I cannot see any good reason to ask others to contribute towards the well being of your single mum neighbour. There could be all sorts of interpretations to this and that could displace relationships between all three of you. You sound like a genuine guy who wants to put things right around you but we all know that's never possible and you really cannot have others relying on your goodwill in this manner.

People are right .... premium decking, two expensive cars and nice holidays usually mean cash flow or credit up to the hilt .... and it is entirely wrong to ask others to help as again the situation is likely to be misread. And the single mum herself could even be offended or even feel manipulated in some way.

Good neighbour relationships usually come from simply being cheerful to each other, having time to listen, offering advice, doing practical things for each other ( as you say .. lifts and barbies ) ... I think that's all this lady needs.