Caught shoplifting in Waitrose, I am really scared. (and ashamed!)

[Guest]

So basically, I have Aspergers and Dyspraxia, and Anxiety and depression. I went to Waitrose yesterday, and found that I had forgotten my wallet, save for about £6 worth of items. I had about thirty pounds of items on me... so I did the most stupid thing ever, as I just wanted to go home,after a depressing hospital appointment, put the items in a bag and walked out after paying for the £6 of items. When security caught me. I then panicked, got quite upset and tearful. I apologised, they called me a liar and as I had no id (i literally thought they meant passport, drivers license, etc) just a hospital letter. I said i had that, and then they yelled at me because i didn't say i had a hospital letter. Luckily they didn't call the police, not before issuing a lifetime ban from the stores and online shop. I am mortified and ashamed, that this moment of pure idiocy has cost me this. That and I am really scared as I work in childcare, would there be any record of this? Also, I live with my parents, Would there be any further action taken, such as letters in the post? They took my address down and photo. It would destroy me if they were to find out. I love them all dearly and this would break their hearts. I would never do this again I just feel so stressed out and sick about it.

[Amethyst]

Firstly, no this Won't affect your job, the police won't called and you don't have a criminal record so nothing will show on your enhanced DBS disclosure.

What is likely to happen is that you get a series of letters from a civil recovery company, so whether your parents will find out really depends on whether you share your mail with them. We generally recommend you completely ignore the letters – there is usually five or six of them before they give up. They are invoicing you for anything between £90 and £190 Which is allegedly to pay for loss and the costs of security at the store.

Also your parents might find it a bit weird if you start refusing to go to Waitrose order online from Waitrose et cetera so you might be better off telling them… Everyone makes mistakes and usually find parents are quite supportive And just want to help with whatever issue caused your moment of madness in the store.

We don't actually get many people posting about Waitrose so I'm not even certain that they use civil recovery… So if you do get a letter let us know.

[foolish_fool]

Okay thank you. Does it usually show on the letter who it's from do you know? and how long does it usually take to arrive

[Amethyst]

IF one comes it's usually a few weeks and not usually marked on the envelope with anything that would identify what's inside.

[foolish_fool]

thank you. I was just wondering, if my family were to shop there (they rarely do, not at that particular store but others occasionally) would anything flag up with them? particularly if they used their card as it's got our address on (my parents, sister and I live together)

[foolish_fool]

And also, if we used Ocado to shop, would we be okay? buying their products?

[des8]

Waitrose instruct RLP

I thought the Ocado/Waitrose tie up had ended when Ocado joined up with M&S earlier this year

In any event I agree with Amethyst that you will be better off telling your parents about the incident than trying to keep it to yourself.
Firstly in your situation I would expect them to support you (that's what parents do anyway)
If you don't tell them your going to be on edge for some months hoping they never find out
Your stress levels will go up.
If they do find out and you haven't told them, they will be even more upset.

[foolish_fool]

Hi lovely people thank you for the advice on this. As of today I still haven't received a rlp letter, really hoping I won't given the amount of time that has passed. What is the usual time for the first letter to appear?

[Amethyst]

4 to 6 weeks seems quite normal xx

[foolish_fool]

Hi all. I never received a letter from rlp but I am worried as my parents are going to go there tomorrow to check for hand sanitizer (another branch) if they use their card as we live together would this flag anything up on their system? As it really isn't an option for me to tell them. Seriously. We have been through far too much recently with family illness and bereavement and my dad's mental health is rather precarious at the moment *

[des8]

If your parents shop regularly at Waitrose won't they have been there since your incident and if there had been a connection it would already have been flashed up.
Anyway it was you who was banned, so they shouldn't mention it to your parents even if they do make a connection.

[foolish_fool]

Nope, my parents rarely go that way as we don't have a local Waitrose. Usually we stop off at our local Morrison's but my dad has gotten it in his head that he needs to check this Waitrose (different to the one where it happened) for hand sanitizer. It sounds daft but I am just panicking a bit. As have tried to put this behind me and only recently feel like I have got a hold of my life

[des8]

So what card are you concerned about....credit/debit or loyalty?
Loyalty is the only one that would flash up a connection and from what you say i doubt they have one, so relax!

[foolish_fool]

Ohhhhh phew thanks so much. That is a huge relief*

[Edtwt]

hello
I was wondering if anything happened after this? I am in a very similar situation as you and I am so anxious and stressed about the store escalating the situation to the police
I'm so ashamed and sorry about what I did. Any advice you have would be very helpful, thank you.