Being accused of owing money to someone

[Guest]

Hi all

A friend of mine, in her 50s, has spent the last 20+ years looking after her brother - similar age. The brother went through a marriage breakdown, followed by a mental breakdown, and has spent the last 20 years living alone. Unable to work and on benefits, my friend would do his shopping, take him on holidays etc. All in all things were good. The brother had ~15k in cash which he gave to his sister (my friend) to look after.

This money was discussed from time to time, and was there to cover funeral costs - the ill health of the brother, excessive drinking etc. made for quite morbid conversations - but also to cover things such as holiday costs, rainy day fund etc. This was done informally - nothing signed, cash handed over so no bank records etc. I believe that this was also to ensure that he would show no assets when it came to claiming benefits.

At one point in the last 10 years the brother told his sister and her husband to 'have' 2k to go on holiday, and to to take it from the money they were looking after for him. This was as a thank you for all they did for him. At another time he has stated to use some of it to clear small debts etc. "As long as theres enough to bury me" was always what was agreed. There is ~10k left in cash and or bonds.

November 2018 and the brothers mental health deteriorated. He started buying £100's worth of scratchcards. He's invited a number of unsavoury characters into his home to drink with. His twitter activity is abusive and inappropriate. He was abusive in person and over text message to family members (very out of character). We all contacted his GP who said that only he could refer himself for help.

He has sent a letter to my friend this week, asking for the £46k they are holding for him. Now the £46k figure has come from nowhere. He has also stated he has taken legal advice. The letter came in 2nd class post and does not include the term 'Letter Before Action' . He has asked for the 46k to be returned to him.

My friend is obviously distressed from an emotive point of view - brother is clearly unwell, and being taken advantage of (we suspect) by 'friends' who believe he is due a windfall. We have discussed the 'moral' conundrum - it IS his money but a) he would soon spend or lose it and b) if declared he would lose out on benefits.

However - from a legal perspective, would anyone have an opinion or some advice on where my friend stands? There is nothing to trace and/or identify this money changing hands.

Many thanks

[Amethyst]

It sounds like the main priority is to get your friends brother some help and support dealing with the crisis he is going through. The money is a side issue really. There never was £46k so it sounds likely he has gotten himself into some debt with the gambling/drinking etc and has lost himself a bit. It might be worth your friend, or you, contacting someone like Mind ( 0300 123 3393 ) or Rethink (0300 5000 927) and explain the deterioration in his mental health and ask if there is any kind of help you can get him if he won't self refer to his GP.

Any idea if anything happened in November that kicked things off?

On the money side does anyone know where the original £15k that he gave to his sister for safekeeping came from ? Where did the 'bonds' come from? Are they a part of this £15k ? or in addition to it? I wonder if he's gotten confused somehow and is thinking £15k was £50k.

Does the letter make specific threats ? to bring a court claim or anything?

IMO there's absolutely no point giving him the remaining £10k following this letter - as you say it will just get blown and if he has it in his head that it should be £46k it's not going to bring an end to the issues either. Obviously if someone can get through to him and find out what's going on and there is any immediate threat the money can be used to get him back on track and out of danger.

[vandamme]

Hi Amethyst. Thanks for the reply. Completely agree that the first and most important thing to do is to get some help lined up - great shout with those contact details thank you, I will pass them on as I know she is looking into this now.

No - no idea what triggered it, a gradual deterioration throughout 2018 was apparent but we were all on hand to support. My fear is that he has made some 'friends' who are influencing him and there was a definite 'snap' with his attitude.

I don't know where the original 15k came from - due to the marriage breakdown and not wanting to declare it maybe? Who knows, but certainly not easily traceable back to a house or car sale etc. I think the 15k was mostly cash with a few thousand in bonds - all given freely to my friend. Of this , 2.5k was spent on a holiday by my friend and her husband as the 'thank you' and 2.5k spent to clear a debt by my friend. But there was only ever 15k in total.

The letter does claim that he will 'see her in court' if she doesn't pay the 46k and this was after taking legal advice. It was a handwritten letter, very emotive (and distressing). Didnt at all come across as a proper letter before action.

I assume that legally he would have to prove that a) the £46k existed b) that its his money and c) that he only gave it to my friend to look after and not to spend.

Considering that a) isnt true, and that even with the sum of £15k that b) and c) are impossible to prove then there's not a lot he can do, and that its very unlikely that a solicitor will help him pursue the claim. I know that a money claim online can be done by himself but my reading of that is that its a difficult enough process without having to produce evidence that doesn't exist.

I'd like to give my friend some peace of mind if possible - the remaining money is safe and will be used to help him get well or back on his feet if she has the chance, but she is worried not only that by returning it it would get 'blown' but also that if he pursues it legally then it could well be spent on solicitors etc.

Am I right (in your opinion(s) of course) in telling her that its unlikely that any legal action will be taken by him, and if it is, the burden of proof will be on him? And that its unlikely that a solicitor would take this on based on the facts I've given?