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Is this the last taboo of childbirth?

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  • Is this the last taboo of childbirth?

    Is this the last taboo of childbirth? Yes! Yes!! Yes!!! | Mail Online

    I had to spend the whole of the first day of my first son's life apologising to the midwifery staff. I was like the woman in the Exorcist when her head starts spinning round and she spits stuff.

    I remember it clearly.

    For the second birth and following the midwife's second (failed) attempt at inducing labour, I informed the hospital staff that I'd be back the following morning (if they were lucky). In the meantime, I instructed my husband to keep her [the ****] away from me, as I would not be responsible for my actions if she laid a finger on me again.

    I remember this clearly too.

    My third son was born at home. I'd learnt my lesson about hospital births by this time and although a tad quick at 40 minutes and only a bathroom floor and a flapping husband for help, I did it and it was by far the "best" of the three.

    However, even though it was the "best" of the three labours and even though I remember it very clearly also, it most certainly was not even remotely close to a "Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally" moment and I really do not think that, even with the best will in the world, a "romantic atmosphere" in childbirth is achievable - assuming the birthing partner wishes to remain in possession of their extremeties.

  • #2
    Re: Is this the last taboo of childbirth?

    Couldn't agree with you more Amy!

    I remember the births of both my children as clearly as if they were yesterday.

    First one, 8 hours of excruciating pain, like a 20 stone bloke jumping around on me with hobnailed boots on - from the inside. Midwife a strip of a kid who had never been through it herself so her platitudes were given major short shrift. Relieved only by two lighter moments that I remember - when my husband solicitously mopped my fevered brow (allegedly) but managed to do it like he was scrubbing a pair of boots and smudged my carefully applied mascara all over my face. As I turned my head away, he caught his hand on my earring and ripped it out of my ear! The midwife then managed to rip the other one out when she leant forward to help and caught her fobwatch thingy in it!

    The second one, being induced by way of a drip, the needle of which was about the size of a pencil going into my scraggy little wrist, followed by three hours of pain, even worse than the first one.

    The best part about both was that the instant the sprog had appeared, the pain stopped. Gives you something to look forward to I suppose.

    But Orgasmic?? - I don't bloody well think so.
    Is no longer here

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    • #3
      Re: Is this the last taboo of childbirth?

      Not meaning to sound flippent but my wife bares no scars of childbirth, but 23 years later I still have the scars mentally and physically from her nails penetrating my shoulder as she screamed my name, along with the words bast*** don't ever come near me again. For goodness sake they were only 6lbs 8oz and 6lb 4oz twins, not actually big.:tinysmile_aha_t:
      Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.

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      • #4
        Re: Is this the last taboo of childbirth?

        My Labour was a 2 day ordeal, constantly being told 'go home your only 2cm or 3 or 4 we can only have you in when your 5!' My midwife did aromatherapy massage on me which really helped in the early stages, she was really nice!

        But as it went on, I swore blue murder and I too spent alot of time apologizing afterwards. I was supposed to have a water birth (with whale music - just kidding), ended up begging for any pain relief going, so Orgasmic no, it was not!
        Luminol x

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        • #5
          Re: Is this the last taboo of childbirth?

          Originally posted by Happyolddog View Post
          Not meaning to sound flippent but my wife bares no scars of childbirth, but 23 years later I still have the scars mentally and physically from her nails penetrating my shoulder as she screamed my name, along with the words bast*** don't ever come near me again. For goodness sake they were only 6lbs 8oz and 6lb 4oz twins, not actually big.:tinysmile_aha_t:
          that made me laugh. I actually swore at and kicked the midwife when I had my daughter ( there was`good reason!) and suffered a internal rupture after a CSection.

          With my son ( 3 months prem) and a 36 hour ( on and off ) labour - I had more important things on my mind.

          Article is a load of c**P
          "What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well." - Antione de Saint Exupery

          "Always reach for the moon, if you miss you'll end up among the stars"


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          • #6
            Re: Is this the last taboo of childbirth?

            I had multiple orgasms every time i gave birth, it was all heavenly serene and very sexual and between baby and placenta I had to grab the nearest male midwife and get him to give me a good seeing to.




            (not really its a complete pile of balls)
            #staysafestayhome

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