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Funeral Arrangement - Non agreement between brothers

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  • #16
    Received a copy of the will. Great timing! Basically, I get one sixth! It was changed 18 days before my Mum died. I feel that my brother has engineered the situation to his advantage.

    As if I am not worried enough.

    Meeting is at 10am for funeral directors. Brother has been invited. Can anyone please tell me if he is allowed to bring a qualified representative ie a mediator or a solicitor and if so should I have been given due notice?

    Comment


    • #17
      If you think your mother was unduly influenced in rewriting her will, or you believe you should have received a greater portion, perhaps you should consult a solicitor.
      He will be able to advise you if you should challenge the validity of the will, or launch a claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975

      If the meeting with the solicitor is to make a final decision about the funeral arrangements why on earth would either party need to bring a mediator?

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by TheBereaved1 View Post
        Received a copy of the will. Great timing! Basically, I get one sixth! It was changed 18 days before my Mum died. I feel that my brother has engineered the situation to his advantage.

        As if I am not worried enough.

        Meeting is at 10am for funeral directors. Brother has been invited. Can anyone please tell me if he is allowed to bring a qualified representative ie a mediator or a solicitor and if so should I have been given due notice?
        Only because he has difficulty understanding things.

        It turned out to be a 'joyous' meeting with him largely saying he didn't care about what the arrangements were other than those which were personal to him ie that it should be an open funeral allowing friends and not a simple private matter.

        I would have wanted a mediator or solicitor to ensure that my mum's solicitor did not just railroad the meeting and make decisions regarding my mum's funeral which were not noted in the will ie whether it should be private or friends.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by des8 View Post
          If you think your mother was unduly influenced in rewriting her will, or you believe you should have received a greater portion, perhaps you should consult a solicitor.
          He will be able to advise you if you should challenge the validity of the will, or launch a claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975
          Is it an idea to go Legal 500 at this stage?
          I believe she was exposed to influence though this is hard to prove. Capacity is probably the best route because I believe she had a syringe driver with morphine being dispensed over 24 hours at the time she did the will. I do know from records that she was gravely ill the day before she made her will and that my brother dragged her across the city to the meeting as I received a call from her carers that day asking why she wasn't at home and I am hoping my mum's solicitor has a record of the other also in the will being at the meeting, or at least one of them in addition to my brother.

          I have also seen records that state she should not really be leaving the house and also have a recording of her in the evening on that day where she sounded slurred when speaking.

          This has to be a good thing!

          Should I mention to her solicitors that I have recordings of my Mum on that day which indicate her speech was slurred or play my cards close to my chest from now on?

          I was thinking of registering a caveat before this week is out.

          Comment


          • #20
            What a terrible situation. Our mum passed away, all Mum wanted was no walkers to her passing, I being the eldest son took all responsibility for the funeral, all property was left to our youngest brother. At this time the most stressful part of one's life, it baffles me that brothers need to take this attitude.

            Comment


            • #21
              I don't think anyone on this site is in a position to advise whether or not you do one thing or another.
              All we can do is point you in the direction of your possible options as we see them. It is for you to decide

              Undue influence is nearly always difficult to prove, but so is showing a person lacked capacity.
              Even people with advance dementia may have periods of lucidity in which they can express their wishes.
              If her will was drawn up by and witnessed at the solicitor's office, he should have notes about her condition at the time.
              If it comes to a dispute the courts will decide whether or not she had capacity.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by TheBereaved1 View Post

                ...I have also seen records that state she should not really be leaving the house and also have a recording of her in the evening on that day where she sounded slurred when speaking.

                This has to be a good thing!

                ...
                Please forgive me for saying so, but I fail to see how this unfortunate situation can be "a good thing!" for anyone. It is very sad.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by Manxman View Post

                  Please forgive me for saying so, but I fail to see how this unfortunate situation can be "a good thing!" for anyone. It is very sad.
                  Insofar as I need to contest the will and I have records which show she should have been being cared for at home not being dragged across 45 minutes across the city to sign a new will 18 days before her death when she had a syringe driver injecting morphine 24 hours a day.

                  And I do forgive you for saying so because I would have to bore everyone for hours to paint the full picture and I am absolutely worn out with it.

                  This morning, I find that the executor, her solicitors, have gone against her verbal wishes to me in allowing public to the church service. This is not what she wanted and I feel the solicitor has ignored those wishes in favour of the wishes that she allegedly stated to my brother and has railroaded the decisions without any reference to me as joint equal next-of-kin.

                  It is all a terribly sad mess. I even thought today that I might not even attend the funeral. How desperately sad is that? Missing the funeral of my last remaining parent.

                  Comment

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