Help please my mentally ill wife is giving our childrens inheritance away !

[sitting duck]

Re: Help please 1 days notice of court appearance regarding non molestation order

I don't trust the social worker involved because she is the person that my wife has told us all that made her put her name to the accusations, such as that i was coming into the house daily and picking her up and smashing her head against the floor and wall ! the social worker threatened her by saying that if my wife didn't say these words which in fact are the words of the social worker then our 13yr old would be taken into care ! so obviously i don't ever want to see or talk that person again.

[Peridot]

Re: Help please 1 days notice of court appearance regarding non molestation order

Maybe consider going higher. Make a formal complaint? I'd check who you would to complain to. It will be on the Local Authority website.

[Kati]

Re: Help please 1 days notice of court appearance regarding non molestation order

It might also be worth sending a SAR to social services (to get all the data they hold on you).

Also ... you are well within your rights to record every conversation you have with them xx

[sitting duck]

Re: Help please 1 days notice of court appearance regarding non molestation order

Good Morning all, Thank you so much everybody for your amazing help and support it is appreciated more than i can say, at the moment i am waiting in a car park opposite the house for the police to turn up, my partner had another turn last night , recently she has been having these episodes on a daily basis, whereas only say 2 years ago these episodes would only happen once or twice a month, so this morning picking my 21yr old for work he looked extremely disturbed and when he got into my vehicle he explained that mum went completely mad last night screaming shouting and swearing at our 13yr old for an hour or so to the point where he then felt compelled to take his brother into his own bedroom and then lock themselves both in.
Unfortunately it only escalated the situation whereby she then spent around 4 hours kicking the door screaming at them both and uttering numerous threats, it finally finished around 4 or 5 in the morning leading to my 21yr old coming out for work at 7-30 this morning looking like a zombie, he then said that he wants to speak to the police , i think even for him who would lay down his life to protect his mother, that he realises that this has gone to far and that the 13yr old needs protection and that his mother needs help.
So after speaking to c a b this morning i went to our local police station with my 21yr old and they have arranged to speak to him and the 13 yr old
at home now, as we only live 5 mins from the station, mum is out at the moment, bye for now.

[Amethyst]

Re: Help please 1 days notice of court appearance regarding non molestation order

I think you are doing the right thing, she must be in bits over everything too, I can't imagine what you are all going through. Let's hope the police can organise some better help and support for you all than is currently (not) being provided by SS.

[sitting duck]

Re: Help please 1 days notice of court appearance regarding non molestation order

Good morning all, its been a while ! there has been so much going on , the children called the police around midnight again last thursday as my wife had totally flipped again, this time throwing the 13yr old down the stairs , he sustained bad bruising to his arms because of this and social services have placed my two sons and myself in emergency housing as they say the risk to the youngest is to high for him to remain in the house with his mother.
Whilst this has secured his safety i am very worried over my wifes mental health even more so now as she is continually texting me saying that she can't go on, who can i speak to over my concerns for her as i think the risk of her hurting herself is very high ?

[Peridot]

Re: Help please 1 days notice of court appearance regarding non molestation order

Hi,
I would suggest contacting her Doctor as soon as possible and discuss what help is available. Unfortunately, it may not give you all the answers but may provide some pointers. I can see that you are really worried but as is often the case with mental health issues unless she asks for help herself there is often little you can do. Maybe contact some mental health organisations for advise and support for you and pointers as to how best to handle this sad situation.

[sitting duck]

Re: Help please 1 days notice of court appearance regarding non molestation order

Good evening all its been a while ! Well i've busy being mum & dad too my two sons and working full time so not had time for much else, i've not got around to getting the non mol overturned even though its given me sleepless nights for the last few months. But recently as i got so much amazing support from the Samaritans i have begun the process of becoming one myself.
However i have now come to the stage where i am expected to go through an enhanced DBS ! unfortunately i think the non mol might stop me from doing something that i really want to be able to do as i realised the value of what they do when i needed sound advice myself, so after speaking to my mckenzie friend he tells me that i need to download forms N244 and EX160 for the setaside application, will this be enough as the accusations that she made to secure the non mol were of quite extreme violence from myself such as repeatedly coming into the house and picking her up and smashing her head into the walls and floor and basically beating her to a pulp over a period of 25 years ! Immediately after the hearing where she secured the non mol she then spent the next two weeks according to my two oldest children [22 & 23] crying incessantly admitting that she had made it all up because the social worker involved in the case had threatened her by saying that if she didn't make these accusations against me in court then our youngest child would be taken into care, i have statements from them saying that they heard their mother saying this on numerous occasions in the weeks following the hearing.
So in the weeks leading up to the second hearing she was extremely remorseful for her dishonesty first time round and told all the children that she was going to admit falsifying her evidence first time round, she also got the children to tell me this and also got her solicitor to phone me telling me that her client was going to drop all charges and her solicitor also emailed me the day before the second hearing confirming that her client was going to drop all charges, Thats not all ! she even called up our two oldest children on the morning of the second hearing telling them they didn't need to come into court to give evidence because she was going to admit to everything and drop all charges......
Well at this stage i imagine a few of you older and wiser souls than myself know exactly what came next !!!
Yup come the actual hearing you could have picked my jaw off the floor when she said all that she wanted to do was amend things so that i could now contact her by text message ! I honestly have never been so shocked or upset by someones deceit and dishonesty in my entire life.
Afterwards the children were really sad that their own mother had been so deceitful to them and one of them said to me 'Mum has really played us all hasn't she Dad ' I felt so sorry for them.
So now a few months down the line she has finally had the shunt fitted to help with the pressure created by her tumour and after the op the doctors told my daughter who is pretty much her care these days, that because of the length of time that she left it to have the tumour that it has caused a certain amount of brain damage and has given her early stage dementia that will now continue to get worse until her death, A big problem with this is that our house and smallholding with moorings is all in her name and her brother shares part of the land of our smallholding and has offered her a tiny amount for the most valuable part of the smallholding which are the moorings, from what the children have been told the amount he has offered her is about a fifth of the true value ! Is there anything i can do to stop this extremely devious man from basically stealing my childrens inheritance ? He has form for this kind of thing as a couple of years ago he bought his other sisters third of the smallholding for half its true value after she passed suddenly from a heart attack as her husband is an alchoholic !

[sitting duck]

Help please my mentally ill wife is giving our childrens inheritance away !

Well to be precise common law wife as we were together for 25 yrs before parting.
The background to this is that she was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour shortly after our youngest of 3 children was born 14yrs ago, she has tried everything to cure this naturally but to no avail, unfortunately her mental health has suffered badly as a result culminating in her punching the youngest in his face on the evening of her fiftieth birthday last year, i found him crying in his bed and with a great deal of reluctance had to tell the relevant authorities, one thing has led to another and i now have sole custody of the children, the problem we have is that everything is still in her name and after her recent operation to have a shunt fitted the doctors have told my 23 yr old daughter that because her mum delayed the operation for so many years it has led to brain damage that has manifested as early stage dementia with is only going to get worse with time.
We have a nice house and a lovely smallholding with moorings on the river that runs through it, unfortunately my brother in law is the worlds most devious person and he has been seen doing odd jobs for free in our house in which she now lives in by herself, and he has land adjoining our smallholding and the two oldest children have heard that he is offering her about one fifth of the true value for the most valuable piece of the land which is the moorings, unfortunately he has form for this kind of thing as he did the same after his other sister died suddenly a couple of years ago from a heart attack, buying the land from her alcoholic husband for half its true value.
Is there anything i can do to stop this devious man from getting my children's inheritance for peanuts ?
There is more background on this case in the family law section, many thanks for your time.

[sitting duck]

Re: Help please my mentally ill wife is giving our childrens inheritance away !

In the family law section its under the title ' Help please 1 days notice of court appearance for non molestation order'

[Amethyst]

Re: Help please my mentally ill wife is giving our childrens inheritance away !

Hey sitting duck, It's good to hear you have support from the Samaritans, and are able to give back to the community at the same time Did you actually get a child arrangements order for care of your children or have they (all?) just opted to come and live with you?. Is their mum getting the help she needs as well ? It's a awful situation for you all, it's extremely sad to hear her brother seems to be trying to take advantage of your partners health condition although it is just hearsay through the older children at the moment?. Have you had any discussions with her brother or her about the situation ?

You don't have any formal ownership of the property do you ?
Have you lived there for the 25 years? Have you contributed financially to the property at all?
Has any discussion been had over power of attorney over her affairs through her illness ? I'm wondering whether it might be something the court of protection can look at https://www.gov.uk/make-decisions-for-someone / https://www.gov.uk/emergency-court-of-protection - although it may be one of the older children in a better position to do this with all the difficulties with the non-molestation order and accusations already there against you. You would need to get really good advice about protecting her, and her property to secure her future care and finances. Sorry I can't really help other than a few thoughts, but I didn't want to read and run xxx

[MENTION=85500]Peridot[/MENTION] [MENTION=141]enaid[/MENTION]
Link to previous thread - http://legalbeagles.info/forums/show...126#post772126

[enaid]

Re: Help please 1 days notice of court appearance regarding non molestation order

Hi and am so sorry for your situation it must be a living nightmare.
I know someone mentioned joining the dots about your wife and her condition, sadly this is not something health professionals do. I have asked about this myself and if you have a read about the net you will see just how many problems this causes for many a patient.
You are probably among others going to hate me for my next suggestion but have you considered having your wife sectioned. I know that will sound horrendous to most, but I think if this happens she will get a full assessment and any treatment available.
HERE some info on sectioning from Mind and I am so sorry if I have upset you I just feel it may be a solution for all xx

[Peridot]

Re: Help please 1 days notice of court appearance regarding non molestation order

Hi again,
Pleased and sad for you all at once!
As far as the property is concerned, you are married so have a claim over all the assets of the marriage. It is probably a long shot but would she and is she, capable of appointing an attorney under and Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA). It could be one of the older children if you would not be appropriate but then the brother would have to deal with the attorney not her?
This is something that would be sensible to get in place asap bearing in mind her recent diagnosis, even if it is not possible for it to happen soon enough to deal with the land issue. Maybe discuss this with the older children?
She is obviously in need of significant support as are you and I would recommend looking into what is out there as options as [MENTION=141]enaid[/MENTION] mentions.

[enaid]

Re: Help please 1 days notice of court appearance regarding non molestation order

LPA and the Office of Guardianship info HERE

[Amethyst]

Re: Help please 1 days notice of court appearance regarding non molestation order

Hi Sitting Duck, I've merged your threads just to save confusion xxx Also just to confirm - you aren't married to your (ex)partner are you ? ( common law wife isn't actually a thing legally in the UK - you're either married/in a civil partnership, or not, and thus simply co-habiting ( when you lived together) )