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Follow on from my daughter's dilema

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  • Follow on from my daughter's dilema

    I have posted before about this matter, but need some more advice.

    Daughter split with partner. She has an 8 year old child, not his child. They own a house on joint mortgage. There was a deed of trust £10g him and £75g her.

    He left the home mid Nov. She wants to buy him out. He has paid two mortgage payments since he left. She has funds from us to buy the property. We didn't want him to know we would fund the purchase.
    She has offered him £12g and he has taken his things. He says he will not pay next mortgage and added said that he does not want to get blacklisted. He said he will move back in. If he does, it will do psychological damage to the little girl.

    How can this be brought to a head and which enables her to live in the house and us to buy it outright. He has no connection with the area, no friends or relatives. He works in another town. She works in the village and her daughter goes to school in the village.

    He has been trying to push her into having him back. I suspect this is why he is being awkward.

    Her solicitor (the free consultation) said that in his opinion he is only entitled to £10g. She is afraid to continue with the solicitor as she would not be able to pay the fees.

    We will be using our savings to pay for the house so can't help her out there.

    What can she do????
    Tags: None

  • #2
    Has she put the £12k offer to him with regards buying his share of the property ? and has she been able to discuss with her mortgage provider at all about taking the mortgage on in her sole name to see if it would be a possibility ? It's good to hear the solicitor is also of the opinion she'd only need to give him the £10k to buy him out of the house.

    “We may not win by protesting, but if we don’t protest we will lose. If we stand up to them, there is always a chance we will win.” Hetty Bower

    Any support I provide is offered without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

    Received a Court Claim? Read >>>>> First Steps

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    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Amethyst View Post
      Has she put the £12k offer to him with regards buying his share of the property ? and has she been able to discuss with her mortgage provider at all about taking the mortgage on in her sole name to see if it would be a possibility ? It's good to hear the solicitor is also of the opinion she'd only need to give him the £10k to buy him out of the house.
      Oh thank you for replying Amethyst. I am at so upset.

      My daughter discussed the situation in the begining with her mortgage provider, she said that they didn't seem to be bothered as long as the mortgage was being paid.

      He says he has told the mortgage provider that he wants to get another mortgage with them, presumably on another property so they will waive the early redemption fee.

      She has not told the mortgage provider that she has all the funds she needs to pay off the mortgage and the £10g to him. She is under the impression that they would tell him that we (mum and dad) have cleared it. If he knows that, I think he will try to get more money from us. Are they obliged to keep this information private? She does not earn enough to qualify for a mortgage. That was why we helped her out in the first instance because he wanted her to pay half the mortgage payments.

      Comment


      • #4
        Oh sorry forgot to say my daughter did say to her ex that she was offering the £12k to him and he has not said he will accept that or decline it.

        Comment


        • #5
          I am going to see the mortgage company on Monday with my daughter. The ex is on first name terms with the lady who works there. This makes me worry that she could disclose to him, that we are paying off the mortgage.

          Would she need to know that or can we just say that my daughter has funds in place?

          Would the lady be obliged to keep what is said, confidential?

          Comment


          • #6
            I have discovered that the conversation regarding the mortgage will not be confidential.

            I looks as though she will just have to say the funds are in place to change the ownership to her.

            I would really appreciate your comments.

            Comment


            • #7
              Another thought: Her brother who is mortgage free is willing to take over the mortgage from her ex partner, leaving him and his sister owning the property.

              How plausible is that?

              At a later time we could choose to pay off the mortgage for them.

              Comment


              • #8
                Sorry to go on a bit.

                Daughter just made appointment for mediation.

                Ex asking for more and more things, dishwasher, bed, suite, car.

                Latest is he is putting house on the market for £10k more than the valuation.

                He also wants all he has paid in mortgage repayments, including the amount that is interest.

                Please send me your thoughts. xxxxxxxx

                Comment


                • #9
                  Peridot

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Brother seems like a good option so long as the ownership is registered as split to the specific shares in the house ( tenants in common ) in case anything happens to either one of them ( financial issues, illness etc ) the house, and the investment in it, is protected.

                    Mediation is good ... he's having a laugh with this
                    Ex asking for more and more things, dishwasher, bed, suite, car.



                    He also wants all he has paid in mortgage repayments, including the amount that is interest.
                    So he basically wants to have lived in the property entirely rent free for the last however long.... no chance sunshine. He put in £10k, there's been no increase of equity, so he gets as per the agreement - his £10k back plus his 50% of the non existent equity.... that was the point of the agreement.

                    Any ideas if the car / suite are on finance? or were bought outright ?

                    The rest isn't worth even entertaining.

                    Latest is he is putting house on the market for £10k more than the valuation.
                    Valuations are pretty good and usually top end of what you'd actually get offered so going in £10k above what the valuation is might nudge it up to closer to the valuation with any offers but just because he puts it on at £10k more doesn't mean someone would pay £10k more. Sounds like he's just trying to push the offer to buy him out up beyond the £12k you've already put on the table ( and be a controling arse )
                    “We may not win by protesting, but if we don’t protest we will lose. If we stand up to them, there is always a chance we will win.” Hetty Bower

                    Any support I provide is offered without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                    Received a Court Claim? Read >>>>> First Steps

                    If we have helped you we'd appreciate it if you can leave a review on our Trust Pilot page

                    Find Solicitors offering fixed fees on our sister site - JustBeagle.com

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi Cacran,

                      How awful for you all. IMO he is trying it on. He is not entitled to the mortgage payments he has made. He is entitled to £10k plus whatever share of the equity they had agreed if it was sold from the sound of it. As far as furniture is concerned I suppose you could see it isn't reasonable for everything to be kept by one person if they both bought items and he is expected to re-home himself. I'm not being sympathetic to his cause at all and no doubt he is demanding the items that will make life difficult for her if she had to go without, but it may be worth making a list of items she would be willing to give up if things were bought together. For example if they have a spare bed he could take that? Things can be replaced over time. She also wants him out so some compromise on items may work in her favour. Of course this depends on who bought things

                      As you're probably aware mediation is encouraged however it would be sensible to know what options your daughter has and have it straight in her mind when she attends what she would be willing to give/allow in order to reach an agreement and get him out of her life. There is an element of tactics involved but it is just a negotiation. Start at minimum and have it clear what thinks you would be prepared to budge on such as items of furniture in order to finalise things.

                      I would suggest having a solicitor acting for her is advisable. Although the lawyer can't attend the mediation for her, the whole idea being to try and enable people to reach agreement themselves, but it seems she needs to know there is someone watching her back legally and who can set out the best and worst case scenarios so she can work out what she could put up with if she had to?

                      Does she want to stay in the house after all this? Would she be able to buy something else with the proceeds (or help from you/her brother) in the same area? The house can't be sold without both of them agreeing if it is in joint names. Unless there was a large amount of equity in the property that could be divided (once their respective amounts are taken out) then a Court would probably not think it sensible? If her brother is prepared to go on the mortgage with her would that free up some money to pay for legal fees if you helped out? It seems that she needs as much support as she can get. He appears to be a bully and suspects that she will just cave and give him everything he is demanding, even when he is not entitled to it! Does it matter if he knows where money is coming from? What are you worried he would do if he knew?

                      I
                      expect you are worried sick with this. It isn't a great situation for your grandchild to be in but it is unfortunately not uncommon. Thankfully she was sensible having the Deed drawn up about the money they put in. It sounds like your daughter and grandchild have a supportive loving family and they will get through this.
                      I am a qualified solicitor and am happy to try and assist informally, where needed.

                      Any posts I make on LegalBeagles are for information and discussion purposes only and shouldn't be seen as legal advice. Any practical advice I give is without liability. I do not represent people on the forum.

                      If in doubt you should always seek professional face to face legal advice.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Amethyst View Post
                        Brother seems like a good option so long as the ownership is registered as split to the specific shares in the house ( tenants in common ) in case anything happens to either one of them ( financial issues, illness etc ) the house, and the investment in it, is protected.

                        Mediation is good ... he's having a laugh with this

                        So he basically wants to have lived in the property entirely rent free for the last however long.... no chance sunshine. He put in £10k, there's been no increase of equity, so he gets as per the agreement - his £10k back plus his 50% of the non existent equity.... that was the point of the agreement.

                        Any ideas if the car / suite are on finance? or were bought outright ?

                        The rest isn't worth even entertaining.


                        Valuations are pretty good and usually top end of what you'd actually get offered so going in £10k above what the valuation is might nudge it up to closer to the valuation with any offers but just because he puts it on at £10k more doesn't mean someone would pay £10k more. Sounds like he's just trying to push the offer to buy him out up beyond the £12k you've already put on the table ( and be a controling arse )
                        Thank you for your reply. None of the things were bought on finance. He paid cash for them.

                        I think it should be taken into account that the suite was purchased as he did not like the one my daughter had, so he took it to the tip. He wants the bed. He got the bed because he said the one that was hers wasn't comfortable and he sold it. He bought her the car because hers was leaking water into the boot and she was worried about it. She bought that car. It had full MOT etc and never let her down. He bought her one without her seeing it. Put a post on Face Book telling everyone he had bought her a car, (showing off!). He put her car for sale as soon as the replacement was delivered, sold it on Face Book within an hour. He got the money for that.

                        The car he got her was a catagory ??? had been in a bump. The brakes were unsafe as repair had not been done correctly. The steering rack was damaged. My husband who is a mechanic, sorted these safety issues out. She had to get two new tyres which she paid for and the Air Conditioning would not work. She got it regassed twice and it still does not work. Possibly a result of the the previous accident. Basically, it was taken out of her control and she did not even get to see the car or agree to driving around a car which had been in an accident.

                        He has taken things from the home, barbeque,garden furniture, huge expensive tent, (which he bought because he said hers wasn't good enough, so he sold hers!!!) , Smart TV and X box. He did pay for all these things so not too bothered about them as they are unnecessary. But it is still cruel.

                        Oh he wants compensation for the security system that he had installed following a burglary, where they were looking for his car keys. He has top of the range Mercades. They did not get the car but my daughter was really affected by the incident. Prior to that, he had refused to have a burglar alarm installed saying that they made no difference.

                        He is an awful person.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Peridot View Post
                          Hi Cacran,

                          How awful for you all. IMO he is trying it on. He is not entitled to the mortgage payments he has made. He is entitled to £10k plus whatever share of the equity they had agreed if it was sold from the sound of it. As far as furniture is concerned I suppose you could see it isn't reasonable for everything to be kept by one person if they both bought items and he is expected to re-home himself. I'm not being sympathetic to his cause at all and no doubt he is demanding the items that will make life difficult for her if she had to go without, but it may be worth making a list of items she would be willing to give up if things were bought together. For example if they have a spare bed he could take that? Things can be replaced over time. She also wants him out so some compromise on items may work in her favour. Of course this depends on who bought things

                          As you're probably aware mediation is encouraged however it would be sensible to know what options your daughter has and have it straight in her mind when she attends what she would be willing to give/allow in order to reach an agreement and get him out of her life. There is an element of tactics involved but it is just a negotiation. Start at minimum and have it clear what thinks you would be prepared to budge on such as items of furniture in order to finalise things.

                          I would suggest having a solicitor acting for her is advisable. Although the lawyer can't attend the mediation for her, the whole idea being to try and enable people to reach agreement themselves, but it seems she needs to know there is someone watching her back legally and who can set out the best and worst case scenarios so she can work out what she could put up with if she had to?

                          Does she want to stay in the house after all this? Would she be able to buy something else with the proceeds (or help from you/her brother) in the same area? The house can't be sold without both of them agreeing if it is in joint names. Unless there was a large amount of equity in the property that could be divided (once their respective amounts are taken out) then a Court would probably not think it sensible? If her brother is prepared to go on the mortgage with her would that free up some money to pay for legal fees if you helped out? It seems that she needs as much support as she can get. He appears to be a bully and suspects that she will just cave and give him everything he is demanding, even when he is not entitled to it! Does it matter if he knows where money is coming from? What are you worried he would do if he knew?

                          I
                          expect you are worried sick with this. It isn't a great situation for your grandchild to be in but it is unfortunately not uncommon. Thankfully she was sensible having the Deed drawn up about the money they put in. It sounds like your daughter and grandchild have a supportive loving family and they will get through this.
                          I have just posted a response to Amethyst. It displays what things he has taken already from the home and what he still wants. She wants to stay in the house. It is in the village where she works and her daughter goes to school. He lives and works in another area, a number of miles away.

                          My daughter has had her own home for seventeen years, most things in the home belonged to her. The only things that have gone that were hers were the things that didn't suit him; the suite and the bed. He wants the dishwasher now because he bought that a few months ago as theirs broke. He does not have a home of his own, he has gone back to his parents where he lived when he met our daughter. I don't know where he intends to store the things . He is just doing it to be mean to her.

                          When he left the home, I was so cross, I messaged him telling him what a 'B------d' he had been and he messaged me back saying that he had made the biggest mistake in his life and I was right to call him a 'B-----d'.

                          He tried to get her back by having expensive flowers sent to her on four occasions, then he sent her two take away desserts (????) then he put children's DVD's through the letter box for our granddaughter with notes saying how much he loves her (she is not his child). This was very disturbing because the little girl does not know exactly what he has done and then she blamed her mum for not letting him come home. Saying " He loves us Mummy"

                          She has spoken to a Family Solicitor for free half hour advice. He said all the ex is entitled to is the £10,000 as per Deed of Trust.

                          We are right behind her as we are a strong, close knit family. We hope it concludes soon.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Goodness - she's definitely well rid - what a toad hole he sounds !
                            “We may not win by protesting, but if we don’t protest we will lose. If we stand up to them, there is always a chance we will win.” Hetty Bower

                            Any support I provide is offered without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                            Received a Court Claim? Read >>>>> First Steps

                            If we have helped you we'd appreciate it if you can leave a review on our Trust Pilot page

                            Find Solicitors offering fixed fees on our sister site - JustBeagle.com

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              in some countries a small payment would finish the OP off completely, oopppssss must not say that, what a Txxd he is! ooppssss zzzzoooommmmmmmmm

                              Comment

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