maintenance payments

[messycess81]

hi guys,

this issue has been bugging me for months and today my back has been broken!

myself and ex partner split up in september and since then i have been paying ex £300 pcm for our 2 daughters.

my concern is that my money is being spent behind the bar and not directly on my children.

ive asked for reciepts as to what she spent on the children and nothing has been shown to me.

i understand that food gas and electric should be considered but there is no way on this planet she is spending all the money directly on the children!

today is the glaring example of me having girls at last minute only to find out she is going out on the town with my damn money! i am furious.

does anyone know if i have the right to spend the money on the children myself and keep reciepts?

appologies if im ranting but any help will be greatly appreciated.

[des8]

Sorry to hear of your concerns, but I doubt there is much you can do.

Once the money is handed over, there are no rules or regulations in place about how it is spent. and as the resident parent, your ex gets to choose how she spends the money .
She does not have to justify her expenditure as it is a contribution to your daughters' day-to-day needs and may be used towards payment of utility bills , school dinners, school trips, food and clothing etc, meaning it would be impossible to prove that the money was being spent otherwise.

Even if you spend money on purchases for your daughters it will not make a difference to your maintenance payments., even if you have receipts Every non-resident parent is responsible for helping to support their children's day-to-day needs.

[messycess81]

hi des8 thanks for your quick response.

i totally understand what your saying but..


when i have to buy the girls (essentials?) on top of each monthly payment alarm bells are ringing!

how can i be expected to cover her lifestyle on top of what my children need? and why should i ?

i cannot justify giving this amount of money to her any longer.

would the CSA demand i keep paying my ex? in these circumstances?

[Amethyst]

It's based on your income and circumstances - you can do a calculation here https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

[des8]

I'm not sure if you can ask for a reassessment and perhaps at that time suggest you become responsible for specific items e.g school dinner money, school trips, nursery/holiday club fees, sports clubs, subscriptions etc. .
If you can make that agreement you will know that at least some of your money is going towards your daughters.
But really I'm sorry but I don't think there is much you can do

[messycess81]

ok thanks for your replys.

[DalmatianDog]

I am in a similar issue although I have a shared care ‘live with/ live with’ order, with a myself getting 5 days out of 14 with the children, plus 50% of all holidays. The CMS have calculated I have to pay her £440/month for the 4 additional days per month that she has them.
How can they justify this? Where is the ex’s contributions to the children’s financial needs?
I am at a point where I am paying so much to here that I cannot afford to send my children to any clubs or do activities when they are with me.
The ex claims all the child support etc on top of what I’m paying her.

Has anyone had any luck with CMS in reducing payments to some more reasonable?
Since when has it been the fathers sole responsibility to provide funding for their children?
Regardless if parents have separated, it’s still joint responsibility !

[Suzi9984]

Are your children being fed and clothed, is the home warm etc? If so then what you are paying is going towards these things.