Tweet
Hi people, I haven't been here for some time but I find myself in need of some legal type advice at the moment as regards my old unfair divorce settlement and wondered if anyone can help.
Firstly, I'm not looking for sympathy or any such sentiment, just straight advice please. OK, so as brief as I can make it here goes:
I was married for 10 years ish, together as a couple for around 12 I guess, and sadly this relationship came to an end in 2000 following the death of my mother after a battle with cancer.
I said to my then estranged wife that I don't want any of the house etc etc, just don't fleece me for maintenance etc so that I can have sufficient funds to live on, which she was in agreement with. That was until the solicitors got involved and then the shit began to get stirred up. It seemed that her solicitor said, right that's his starting point now lets go take everything else! At which point I had to start fighting back as I was in mounting debt due to laying out £500 per month in mortgage & maintenance to her.
My position became that I wanted sufficient funds out of the matrimonial homes equity to pay off my debts, which amounted to around 15k ish I think, there was more than 60k equity in the prperty at the time (probably more).
Anyway, long story short, the judge ordered that "as Mr West needs money now & Mrs West cannot afford to pay any money now then Mr West will not get anything ever" or words very very close to that effect!
OK, so we had a 10 year old son at the time true, but what about a charge on the property for when he was 18 or out of education, surely that would have been fairer!
Needless to say I felt that I'd just wasted 12 years of my life, very hard slog as well, because it was hard times for the longest time in our marriage with me having four jobs; my main job salary just covered the mortgage for the first 3 or so years of our marriage I also worked behind a bar, helped with her home-work and also did odd jobs for years just to make ends meet. Oh and did ALL of the car and household maintenance to save money.
I worked like a friggin dog to keep that family with a home, but that all meant absolutely nothing to this damn judge!
I was pretty banged up after that emotionally and ended up drinking too much, job loss, depression, homelessness blah blah blah.
Fast forward ten years to 2010 and I'm OK, she's living still in the former matrimonial home with my son. Then on December 23rd my world ended with the death of my son aged 20 from an epileptic seizure (SUDEP). I'm not going to harp on about what a child's death does to you, but it can only ever be truly understood by someone who endures the same heartbreak!
So the one saving grace from this ****ed up divorce settlement was that the property would end up in my sons hands, which is what I had wanted from the very start. Anyway, it was not the time to discuss any of this and well oddly as a result of my son's death we became friendly again, I think because we understood each others pain.
Fast forward again to more recent times and she has taken up with a complete waster ex-con who doesn't work (or at least officially), whom she met online via some dating site. Don't get me wrong, I wish her happiness and there is no jealousy what so ever, just I actually wish the best for her and that she would find a nice bloke who's going to look after her. No such luck with this waster an I know my son would have seen through him. He has nothing and has moved in to a very cushy number!
Anyway, she has decided to sell up and buy a barge boat and live the dream with her scrub man!
I am not HP!
So to eventually get to the point, I've asked her straight, "Whilst I understand that there is no legal obligation for you to give me anything, do you intend to compensate me at all for the years that I paid the mortgage from the proceeds of the house sale?"
That was yesterday and I'm awaiting a reply.
My question to you legal type peeps. Could I challenge the original judges decision?
Thanks and apologies for the rambling it's along story with many sub plots, but you have the essence.
Firstly, I'm not looking for sympathy or any such sentiment, just straight advice please. OK, so as brief as I can make it here goes:
I was married for 10 years ish, together as a couple for around 12 I guess, and sadly this relationship came to an end in 2000 following the death of my mother after a battle with cancer.
I said to my then estranged wife that I don't want any of the house etc etc, just don't fleece me for maintenance etc so that I can have sufficient funds to live on, which she was in agreement with. That was until the solicitors got involved and then the shit began to get stirred up. It seemed that her solicitor said, right that's his starting point now lets go take everything else! At which point I had to start fighting back as I was in mounting debt due to laying out £500 per month in mortgage & maintenance to her.
My position became that I wanted sufficient funds out of the matrimonial homes equity to pay off my debts, which amounted to around 15k ish I think, there was more than 60k equity in the prperty at the time (probably more).
Anyway, long story short, the judge ordered that "as Mr West needs money now & Mrs West cannot afford to pay any money now then Mr West will not get anything ever" or words very very close to that effect!
OK, so we had a 10 year old son at the time true, but what about a charge on the property for when he was 18 or out of education, surely that would have been fairer!
Needless to say I felt that I'd just wasted 12 years of my life, very hard slog as well, because it was hard times for the longest time in our marriage with me having four jobs; my main job salary just covered the mortgage for the first 3 or so years of our marriage I also worked behind a bar, helped with her home-work and also did odd jobs for years just to make ends meet. Oh and did ALL of the car and household maintenance to save money.
I worked like a friggin dog to keep that family with a home, but that all meant absolutely nothing to this damn judge!
I was pretty banged up after that emotionally and ended up drinking too much, job loss, depression, homelessness blah blah blah.
Fast forward ten years to 2010 and I'm OK, she's living still in the former matrimonial home with my son. Then on December 23rd my world ended with the death of my son aged 20 from an epileptic seizure (SUDEP). I'm not going to harp on about what a child's death does to you, but it can only ever be truly understood by someone who endures the same heartbreak!
So the one saving grace from this ****ed up divorce settlement was that the property would end up in my sons hands, which is what I had wanted from the very start. Anyway, it was not the time to discuss any of this and well oddly as a result of my son's death we became friendly again, I think because we understood each others pain.
Fast forward again to more recent times and she has taken up with a complete waster ex-con who doesn't work (or at least officially), whom she met online via some dating site. Don't get me wrong, I wish her happiness and there is no jealousy what so ever, just I actually wish the best for her and that she would find a nice bloke who's going to look after her. No such luck with this waster an I know my son would have seen through him. He has nothing and has moved in to a very cushy number!
Anyway, she has decided to sell up and buy a barge boat and live the dream with her scrub man!
I am not HP!
So to eventually get to the point, I've asked her straight, "Whilst I understand that there is no legal obligation for you to give me anything, do you intend to compensate me at all for the years that I paid the mortgage from the proceeds of the house sale?"
That was yesterday and I'm awaiting a reply.
My question to you legal type peeps. Could I challenge the original judges decision?
Thanks and apologies for the rambling it's along story with many sub plots, but you have the essence.
Comment