Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

[Inca]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

Hiya ,,,sorry but the 'Greek' bit cracked me up msl:.....I don't think 'Being Greek' is grounds for divorce? How bizarre some people are!
Personally speaking,,although my husband was openly having an affair I allowed him to divorce me on 'irretrievable breakdown of marriage' just to get it over and done with.
As regarding work,,,she will easily be caught out on that one,,it's not difficult to prove someones earning a wage and any solicitor worth their salt should be able to find that out.
Remember...she has to prove what she says as much as he does.
I'm not up to speed on what is/isn't an offence but am sure someone else on here will be

[akania]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

I know its bad but the Greek thing cracks me up as well )) He doesnt find it as funny as me and his mums spitting fireballs which is making me laugh even more )))

i said to him that he should just let her divorce him and i think hes getting his head around it even if whats on the forms is crap.

[akania]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

Ok so they went to the solicitors and she basically said the same, just agree to her divorce and then they can be divorced by october. He can put in it that he doesnt agree with the content just to make him feel better about the greek thing lol. So thats all being done and fingers crossed divorced by october

He received a text from her this morning saying that she and her fella are moving to a house and obviously she has put in the residency order for the kids, but in the text she said that her fella doesnt want him coming anywhere near the house so they need to find a place to drop off and collect kids. He asked if thats allowed and i couldnt see why not?

This whole thing is becomming a farce. Talk about put you off of getting married !

Hope your all well.

[Inca]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

Oh good......he's doing the right thing (still can't get over the 'Greek' bit msl
Of course they want him nowhere near their new home..he might see things they'd rather he didn't (new cars etc,possibly).
Find a mutually beneficial meeting place that's safe (for the kids)......it saves a lot of unnecessary hoo-hah by objecting to it......but tell her it must be HER that collects /delivers them as it will be HIM who does the same....that'll rankle the boyfriend....a minor victory but still one nonetheless

[akania]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

Dunno what happened there i posted but it disappeard ?

It was funny cause apparently his mum was ranting and raving at the solicitors about racist behaviour lol!!!

I thought it was perfectly legal just bitchy but whatever, i think its better they meet in netural ground anyway.

Thanks Inca x

[akania]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

So her and her fella have now got a new house for all of them, constantly putting it all over facebook etc. Hes convinced she wants the kids so she can have the benefits and the house. THEN he thinks she will say she cant cope with the kids and send them back to him for 4 or 5 days a week whilst keeping the house and the benefits. Well she has the house so not sure what her next move will be.

However i did say that is she gets custody of the kids then maybe he should rent a one bedroom flat so she knows he cant have the kids.

Anyway apart from that he is really struggling at the mo. The kids are being extreamly naughty. I was there the weekend and both were constantly telling him that they hate him and they wish he was dead and they want to live with their mum. I know its just words but i can see how much it hurts him and hes struggling to cope.

What a bloody mess. Im worried that with his heart problems (hes had a heartattack and suffering from angina) that this stress is going to finish him off sometimes.

[enquirer]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

Get rid and walk away. Hard, but it's either that or a half day out with the undertaker.

[Inca]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

If it's that bad then he has to put his health first. Kids are nasty when they are troubled.

[akania]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

I agree. I feel bad saying this sort of thing to him though because i dont want to influence his decison re the kids. However at the ages of 7, the son and 10, the daughter, i know after bringing up a boy single handedly it can be a rocky road especially when they hit teenage years. He has awful trouble diciplining them and i just think the next 10 years will be hell for him.

i know we bring kids in to this world and we should look after them but this is a hard one and with the mother constntly bad mouthing him and the kids telling him he should die and they hate him and want to live with their mother i think that living with their mother is the best thing then they call all slag him off together lol.

Its such a shame cause hes such a nice bloke and a real softy.

Whats the situation though if they move there and then she says she can cope and he has to have them back?

[Inca]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

He's probably better off (for his own sanity and health) letting them go and live with her BUT making sure he has firm access days TO SUIT HIM........and refuse to play 'tennis' with the Mum,,,she wants them she's got them...and if it all goes tits up then your friend has the upper hand..she will need him ( and if the kids are as bad as you say the kids are controlling everything!)
I've had teenagers............they really can be Satans sidekicks..and even more so when they have been allowed to behave like they are now.Let her cope with them through puberty,,,that'll be the ultimate revenge..(I remember chasing my son round the house waving a cooking utensil in my hand,,,trapped him in his room,,went to crack him on his backside with it but the end flew off and I stood there looking really scarey (not) with the handle in my hand)

[akania]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

Lmao !!!! Ive had some moments like that with my son. Great minds think alike Inca. I did say to him last night if they go and live with her then he will get the nice 'bits' so to speak. Let her have all the crap and he has them weekends or every other weekend and he and they will look forward to it. She can be the diciplinarian ( is that even a word???) He said that it will really upset him but he really cant cope with it all.

[akania]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

Morning all need some urgent advice please my friend has just got off the phone from cafcass re the kids. Apparently she's served papers on him and he is due in court next Friday at 2pm but this is news to him. They've told him to call the court but on the basis he hasn't had the papers, doesn't know what she's saying in them and had no chance to prepare can he ask the court for the papers and for the date to be rearranged.

[Inca]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

Yep...ring the court,tell them he hasn't been served.

[akania]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

And will they out it back so he has time to prepare? Apparently she's citing domestic abuse and he doesn't look after the kids properly, plus will the kids have to talk?

[akania]

Re: Need some advice re divorce, the house and the kids

Oh and it's the first hearing