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Help needed - Asking for a friend - Has she had good advice regarding Consent Order

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  • Help needed - Asking for a friend - Has she had good advice regarding Consent Order

    Morning.

    I really could do with some advice for a friend. My friend has her children, her partner sees his children one night a fortnight, (his choice). My friend is receiving benefits, mistakenly instructed a Solicitor of which she cannot afford. The solicitors have drafted a consent order, ready for the Court. Her partner states his solicitor has instructed him not to consent to her order, he needs to do his own. My friend has pain 120 towards consultation and letter to her partner, who states he has not received it. The solicitors are now seeking a further 250 for a few emails which were exchanged in May. My friends solicitor has stated that she will not get any help towards Court fees as there is no domestic violence committed by her partner. I have noticed on a Government site that she could be entitled to help as she is on benefits.

    Questions:

    Would my friend be entitled to financial help as she is receiving benefits, due to being Employed?
    Is my friend better off with/ without a Solicitor? She cannot afford one. Further to this, her partner will never agree on anything she says.
    Can my friend terminate her Solicitors? what would be the implications?

    Personally, I do not see the point in her applying for such an order as he will never agree to any of her terms.


    I appreciate any assistance which can be offered.


    Tags: None

  • #2
    This is the problem facing most divorcing couples these days, there is zero legal aid help for people even on low incomes and where children are being affected.

    She can terminate the solicitor whenever she wishes but she will need to pay any outstanding fees. The consent order she had drafted could be used at a future point without lawyers if the parties agree. She could even try and suggest to her ex that she is dis-instructing so that they may make an amicable agreement in the interests of the children.
    She can self represent through any legal process, she may get some reduction or exemption in court fees. Check out the .gov website for forms to apply for fee remission.

    As for how to make a reluctant ex co-operate, sorry no easy answers there. As he is only seeing his kids once a fortnight, at least he's not trying to get custody etc. What does she want to achieve with the consent order? What needs changing?

    "Although scalar fields are Lorentz scalars, they may transform nontrivially under other symmetries, such as flavour or isospin. For example, the pion is invariant under the restricted Lorentz group, but is an isospin triplet (meaning it transforms like a three component vector under the SU(2) isospin symmetry). Furthermore, it picks up a negative phase under parity inversion, so it transforms nontrivially under the full Lorentz group; such particles are called pseudoscalar rather than scalar. Most mesons are pseudoscalar particles." (finally explained to a captivated Celestine by Professor Brian Cox on Wednesday 27th June 2012 )

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    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Celestine View Post
      This is the problem facing most divorcing couples these days, there is zero legal aid help for people even on low incomes and where children are being affected.

      She can terminate the solicitor whenever she wishes but she will need to pay any outstanding fees. The consent order she had drafted could be used at a future point without lawyers if the parties agree. She could even try and suggest to her ex that she is dis-instructing so that they may make an amicable agreement in the interests of the children.
      She can self represent through any legal process, she may get some reduction or exemption in court fees. Check out the .gov website for forms to apply for fee remission.

      As for how to make a reluctant ex co-operate, sorry no easy answers there. As he is only seeing his kids once a fortnight, at least he's not trying to get custody etc. What does she want to achieve with the consent order? What needs changing?
      Afternoon Celestine,

      I appreciate you getting back to us so swiftly with your advise.


      I dont think they will ever agree as her ex partner will not even agree to a Divorce, despite them being separated for over 4 years. He has a new partner and work commitments. My friend feels like shes being left to do everything, she has no life other than children, (which she would not give up for the world). My friends parents have just moved to Wales, my friend had the opportunity to follow them as her family would help her into a new home. My friends ex-partner has threatened suicide if she goes, so shes decided to stay in a home she is not happy to be in.

      To her friends, myself included, we feel she would be better off moving to Wales, which is what the children want. My friend and her ex-partner both drive and could meet half way, its not like he wants to see his children everyday or every weekend. My friend has a massive heart, shes thinking of her ex-partner, so decided to stay.


      Sadly, I believe its his way or nothing.
      Last edited by Scrumpy11; 14th July 2021, 11:55:AM.

      Comment


      • #4
        So your friend should call his bluff and move to where she and the children would be happier. She would find that the fortnightly visits would disappear if there was inconvenience for him to collect.

        Comment


        • #5
          That is coercive control.
          The use of suicide threats to dictate where she lives?
          The reluctance to let her move but he only sees the kids once a fortnight?
          Hmmmm

          If she hasn't even managed to get a divorce then that explains a lot.

          This needs a baby steps approach. Do not try and solve everything at once.

          First step is she needs some individual counselling to start to see herself as an individual, not just a mum and ex partner under his control. Probably best to cease all legal action until she has done this as otherwise she'll be throwing money at solicitors but not following up on actions because he is controlling her. That is the bit that must change first.

          Apart from anything else, your children are only young once, if she got some support now she might start enjoying her life again and have the confidence to take these steps that thousands of other Mums have to wade through every year alone to get some sanity and control back in their lives.
          It is good she has a friend like you looking out for her. Let us know if there is anything else you need help with. X
          "Although scalar fields are Lorentz scalars, they may transform nontrivially under other symmetries, such as flavour or isospin. For example, the pion is invariant under the restricted Lorentz group, but is an isospin triplet (meaning it transforms like a three component vector under the SU(2) isospin symmetry). Furthermore, it picks up a negative phase under parity inversion, so it transforms nontrivially under the full Lorentz group; such particles are called pseudoscalar rather than scalar. Most mesons are pseudoscalar particles." (finally explained to a captivated Celestine by Professor Brian Cox on Wednesday 27th June 2012 )

          I am proud to have co-founded LegalBeagles in 2007

          If we have helped you we'd appreciate it if you can leave a review on our Trust Pilot page

          If you wish to book an appointment with me to discuss your credit agreement, please email kate@legalbeaglesgroup. com

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by ostell View Post
            So your friend should call his bluff and move to where she and the children would be happier. She would find that the fortnightly visits would disappear if there was inconvenience for him to collect.
            Thankyou. This is what we all have said

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by ostell View Post
              So your friend should call his bluff and move to where she and the children would be happier. She would find that the fortnightly visits would disappear if there was inconvenience for him to collect.
              Or yes, she could just do this!

              Legally because of the limbo (no divorce/arrangements), it would be up to him alone to initiate court action to force a return.
              But she would need to emotionally be able to take the step.
              "Although scalar fields are Lorentz scalars, they may transform nontrivially under other symmetries, such as flavour or isospin. For example, the pion is invariant under the restricted Lorentz group, but is an isospin triplet (meaning it transforms like a three component vector under the SU(2) isospin symmetry). Furthermore, it picks up a negative phase under parity inversion, so it transforms nontrivially under the full Lorentz group; such particles are called pseudoscalar rather than scalar. Most mesons are pseudoscalar particles." (finally explained to a captivated Celestine by Professor Brian Cox on Wednesday 27th June 2012 )

              I am proud to have co-founded LegalBeagles in 2007

              If we have helped you we'd appreciate it if you can leave a review on our Trust Pilot page

              If you wish to book an appointment with me to discuss your credit agreement, please email kate@legalbeaglesgroup. com

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Celestine View Post

                Or yes, she could just do this!

                Legally because of the limbo (no divorce/arrangements), it would be up to him alone to initiate court action to force a return.
                But she would need to emotionally be able to take the step.

                Thank you again, I will pass this on. Its in hers and her childrens to move, they all want to go.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Celestine:

                  Further advice needed.

                  My friends ex partner has initiated Mediation, on what grounds we do not know. My friend was contacted, requesting that she pay her half towards the costs. My friend is on benefits, she cannot afford to pay, I offered but she refused. She has been contacted to say that the certificate has been passed to the courts... her e partner is saying its not going to bode well for her as she has not complied by taking part in mediation.

                  I have told her to contact the reliving company, requesting a copy of what has been sent to the court.. is she entitled to a copy?

                  What could happen as she cannot afford mediation,? which to her is pointless as it's his way or the highway and could prove costly as they never agree.




                  Comment


                  • #10
                    [QUOTE=Celestine;n1583699]

                    Celestine:

                    Further advice needed.

                    My friends ex partner has initiated Mediation, on what grounds we do not know, can only assume its access rights to see his children on days he already sees them. . My friend was contacted, requesting that she pay her half towards the costs. My friend is on benefits, she cannot afford to pay, I offered but she refused. She has been contacted to say that the certificate has been passed to the courts... her ex partner is saying its not going to bode well for her as she has not complied by taking part in mediation.

                    I have told her to contact the reliving company, requesting a copy of what has been sent to the court.. is she entitled to a copy?

                    What could happen as she cannot afford mediation,? which to her is pointless as it's his way or the highway and could prove costly as they never agree.

                    Comment

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