Help Needed Please.

[AllClearFather]

Hoping someone can help me go in the right direction...

I have been separated from the Mother of my Child (5) for 3 years now.
For the last two years, she has declined over night stays with my Son. She only allows me to see him on Saturdays, which entails an hour journey to pick him up for 10:00am, and her request is that I have him back before 6:45 for his 7:00pm 'apparent' bedtime!! So that's 4 hours travelling and 5 or so hours bonding time. I pay CSA to her every month for my Son's needs, I also pay for travel to see my Son. Can I refuse CSA payments until she shares this information. Surely I have legal rights to know this information.

I do have contact with my Son's school, off my own back as she does not tell me a thing. Missed his Nativity play last year because she told me the day before, clearly knowing I wouldnt be able to make it due to not enough notice for work! So I have made my own dealings with the school for them to send me weekly newsletters and regular updates on my Son's progress.

There was even one time, that the trains were delayed in bringing my Son home, she moaned about it over the phone a number of times saying I was lying, she threatened to call the police, for what reason I do not know! So I ended up forwarding her the live train information.

I have kept all her messages, printed out in a folder. I have receipts of what I do for my Son, travel, gifts etc, anything that has relevance to my Son.

She took my Son holiday this year, without even talking to me about it. Yet, I went on Holiday this year also, asked my Son if he would like to go on Holiday with Daddy and he was happy to be potentially going away and spending time with his Father. So when it came to asking his mother, she declined at first instance without even considering it.

She has also blocked my number from calling her. So if and when I do have my son, should there be emergency, I am unable to contact her yet it will probably be my fault for not informing her!! Not quite sure how that logic works!

She has also now moved address recently, within the last week. I have asked her where my Son now lives, to which she is declining to tell me, surely I have a legal right to know where my son lives???

I try my absolute best to stand by my Son, but keep on getting backed into a corner by his Mother! But I am not going to give up! Thats not me! He is also my Son. Not just her Son.

[Amethyst]

Re: Help Needed Please.

If you have parental responsibility ( eg you are on the birth certificate) you can speak with the school and they can send you directly copies of school newsletters and reports etc so you are kept in the loop.

No don't with hold CSA payments. Always keep the money stuff SEPARATE from the access stuff.

You could go to court for a child arrangement order to get this sorted out - you will need to speak with a family solicitor - or a law centre - or citizens advice - to get you started on that path.

[AllClearFather]

Re: Help Needed Please.

If you have parental responsibility ( eg you are on the birth certificate) you can speak with the school and they can send you directly copies of school newsletters and reports etc so you are kept in the loop.

No don't with hold CSA payments. Always keep the money stuff SEPARATE from the access stuff.

You could go to court for a child arrangement order to get this sorted out - you will need to speak with a family solicitor - or a law centre - or citizens advice - to get you started on that path.

Thank you. Yes I am without a doubt on my Son's birth certificates, I have both copies at my home to prove this. I have spoken to his school also and they are happy to co-operate with me, they currently send me weekly newsletters, and are keeping me informed on events like his Christmas Play next month and School Photos. I missed his play last year as his Mum didnt tell me till the day before!

Thank you though, I will try and speak to a Family Solicitor. I have been looking into that and also Mediation.