Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

[Templer]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Hi all
I have been to see my solicitor this afternoon

Been over the options
I have been 100% op[en about my youngest
I have been told that the judge would not want to split them up
The only big hurdle I have is the cost,
so I am going to go for Mediation, first.
But I am still not sure weather to keep my card close to my chest and just delay
the going to court. and not do the mediation.

Templer

[Kati]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

If that is the only way, then personally, I would say "go for it" ... If you refused mediation now, it might look bad for you if it ends up in court sometime in the future :tinysmile_hmm_t2:. Also, it will be better for you all in the long run if you try and sort it all out sooner rather than later.

Are you on good terms with their mum?? Could you arrange a 'meeting' with her for a cuppa and chat?? If (between the pair of you) you could sort it out amicably WITHOUT getting tangled up in the legal system. You never know, she might just agree to you keeping them with you and her visiting every so often :tinysmile_grin_t:.

Glad you are feeling more positive about things!!

Kati

[MissFM]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Hi Templer

I'm a little confused - I understood from your posts above that your wife has left and the children are all living with you?

She has a new partner but hasn't shown any sign of wanting custody?

What is the need for mediation - at present the children live with you (their legal father, including the non-biological one - you are their Dad) and your ex seems happy with that arrangement?

Have I missed something - or is it just that you are thinking ahead as to what might happen in the future?:confused2:

[Amethyst]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

I think Templar was concerned about the future and wanted to know the options and that there was some security for the children.

Discussing with the solicitor has hopefully set your mind at rest a bit, as you know where you stand now and what your options are in the future. I don't think you need to go to court (or mediation) as yet. Let the dust settle some, see how things go, and take care of the kids.

[MissFM]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Yes, I didn't mean to muddy the waters, sorry.:hand:

But as to the OP's original question - it is safe to say (isn't it?) that the OP is legally the father of all his children (including the one who may not be biologically his)?

And that they all enjoy the same legal rights as regards UK nationality?

[Johnboy007]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Well if his name is on the birth certificate, and the biological father has no idea he has a child.
Then to all intents and purposes, Templer is the legal father.
I wish him all the best.........
aw:

[MissFM]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Well if his name is on the birth certificate, and the biological father has no idea he has a child.
Then to all intents and purposes, Templer is the legal father.
I wish him all the best.........
aw:

As do we all JB

Just wanted to clarify, and allay the OP's anxieties, that his parental rights are exactly the same as they would be were the child biologically his and that any future arrangements are exactly the same as if all the peripheral issues raised above didn't exist.

Ie the OP is in the same position legally as any other estranged husband/father in the UK who is the main carer for his children, should any dispute with his ex-wife arise.

[Templer]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Hi all
Thank you for the responses
The fact of the mater is I want stability for the children.
They have had a very rough time in the last 20 months,
this is probably why they are less upset than my self.
My wife runs hot and cold.sometimes she wants to be involved sometimes not
No different to some other break ups
I have had confirmed tonight that she wants me out of the house I rent, so that she and her boyfriend can move in with the kids
She wants to punish me.
I have never tried to turn the children against he in fact the opposite,
She has lost a lot of friends over this, again not my doing,
She felt trapped at home only working weekends looking after the children in the week.
she earn t £30.00 a night in the restaurant, and the cab fair home after 12.00 was £15.00
so I accepted she stayed there until she caught a bus back in the morning.

two reasons I need to have a court order
1 the stability for the children ,
2 if she decides to go back to her home country with the children
they will have some sort of protection.

It is not about control as far as I am concerned it is about stability
it is not about me or my wife , as far as I am concerned it is about the children, some thing my wife does not seem to understand,may be it is her culture?
we are still under social services due to my wife's actions past and present

with my youngest I was worried about his immigration status, I have gladly found out this is not an issue.
As far as I am concerned and same for him I am his daddy

May be I worry to much,
I just want the best for the children weather it is with my wife or with me,
at the moment she is not in the right place her new boyfriend comes before the children.
and I am not saying this because of what has happened ,
I am happy for her if she is happy, but I would never have her back.
so we need to move forward and do what is best for the children.

Templer

[Amethyst]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

''I have had confirmed tonight that she wants me out of the house I rent, so that she and her boyfriend can move in with the kids''

Okay that changes the situation a little and mediation could be a good way forward.

With regards to your house. What's the situation with that and the tenancy ? Is it in joint names or just your name? Private rent or council/social ?

[Templer]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Hi Amethyst
We live in private rent with joint tenancy
the tenancy runs out in 2 months time,

I am not to worried as my land lady is aware of the situation
as long as I keep up with the rent there will not be an issue

Templer

[Grotbags]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Hate to put a dampener on things but if you have put your name on the Birth Certificate KNOWING you cannot be the childs biological Father then you have committed perjury..

Under sec 4.1. of the Perjury Act 1911 an offence occurs:

"If any person wilfully makes any false answer to any question put to him by any registrar of births or deaths relating to the particulars required to be registered concerning any birth or death, or, wilfully gives to any such registrar any false information concerning any birth or death or the cause of any death; or wilfully makes any false certificate or declaration under or for the purposes of any Act relating to the registration of births or deaths, or, knowing any such certificate or declaration to be false, uses the same as true or gives or sends the same as true to any person" The maximum penalty for this is two years imprisonment if convicted by a crown court: a magistrates court can only impose a fine.


You can't just falsify a legal document because it suited you and your wife at the time..You are not the childs biological father and you knew this to be the case when the Birth Certificate was written.
Personally,,I think by perpetuating this lie you could be storing up a whole world of difficulties for the child in years to come.
I admire you for bringing up another mans child as your own but cannot,in all good conscience,agree that your name should be on the certificate

[wales01man]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Must be a big Queue in the courts of men and women answering these charges

[Amethyst]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

As Templer and the mother were married then he is legally presumed to be the father unless it is proven otherwise.

If the biological father wanted to he could do a DNA test to prove he is the father and then the birth certificate could be changed.

The answers on the thread have been with Templers current situation and wanting to protect the children, all of whom have been bought up as his own from birth.

[Kati]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

I know he is not mine 2 words

Snip Snip
after my daughter was born
I have spoken to my doctor who carried out the op
and he is 90% sure the little one is not mine,
he was prepared to redo the tests free of charge.

And there is still the possibility of the youngest being Templer's biological child anyway - vasectomy as a form of birth control is not 100% effective (studies show that there is a generally agreed upon rate of late failure of about one in 2000 vasectomies— considerably better than tubal ligations for which the failure rate is one in every 200 to 300 cases) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasectomy
The only way of ever knowing for certain would be to take a paternity test. Templer, as the father of the children has no need for this - he accepted parental responsibility for ALL of he kids and has the birth certificates to show it :tinysmile_grin_t:

[Templer]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Thanks for all your replies
To answer Grotsbags post
I put my name on my youngest child's birth certificate, because I felt then and still do think this was and is the right thing to do, It was also done with the consent of his Mother,
It may cause me problems in the future, but I will cross that bridge when it comes to it, if it does at all.

I will be going to mediation as this has to be done first, but I need to save the money first as it will cost me the best part of £800.00, something I just do not have at the moment.
hopefully things will settle down with my Wife and she will want to be involved more,

Templer