Urgent advice needed please

[Ozeki]

Yes, he said clearly he will earn the main money, so he will take the big decisions. I did meet his mum and she did confirm his ex was a horrible person, and very toxic too. But he is hard work also at times.

[Ozeki]

Thank you, everyone. I did come back to my senses a bit.
There is nothing as sobering than a strangers kindness and opinion sometimes.

[ostell]

Of course his mum will say his ex was a horrible person, her son can do no wrong and he is controlling her as well.

Might be worth talking to her and hear the other side

[Ozeki]

I cant, they were in Canada, not the uk. He came back at the end of last year.

[ostell]

She will gave a phone? Worth the cost of a phone call or find her on Facebook and send a message or even talk over the internet. Be prepared for a hostile first response.

[Ozeki]

I dont know her surname.

[Celestine]

I dont know her surname.

Do you mean the ex wife is in Canada and that you don't know her surname?

[ostell]

Possibly using the same name, or traceable

[Celestine]

I'm unsure if contacting the ex wife would help matters much. I doubt the history of child loss is false otherwise the mother would have mentioned something.
Truth possibly is, we have two grieving, vulnerable people considering relying on each other to fix the pain. The chances of success would improve greatly if they took things much slower.

[ostell]

It might just confirm, one way or the other, what sort of person the partner is.

I mentioned my daughters partner earlier in this thread. He has started to talk about going to university for 2 years and when he graduates he will get a job they will be doing wonderful things with the money he will be earning. No mention where the course fees will be coming from, which will be high as he is non UK.

[Ozeki]

Sorry, ladies, Ive only now checked the forum.
He is funding the courses.

Yes, I think we are two lost people, pushed by life too far and trying to find some sort of meaning again. He did say that at a certain point he wanted to die. Not anymore.

[John William]

Hi everyone I hope you are okay I want to ask advice regarding a situation I am in in 2019 my husband passed away are used his life insurance to pay a big part of my mortgage so now my mortgage is around 58,000 I now have a new boyfriend who started law school in a different part of the country. he gave me an ultimatum that if I want to be with him I need to sell the house now, get married with him and start trying for a baby. He expects me to use part of the house money to pay for a nanny and half the rent( we will have to rent). I mention that all his savings will you go on his studies. I am 38 and he is 44. my question is if we get married and then divorced what happens with the money from the house I would have in the bank or with the house if we already put those money towards a new house? would they split in half even if he didn't participate at all and everything comes from my poor husbands death? as I said he gave me an ultimatum and I have to let him know by Monday. we've only started dating in February and this relationship has many good parts but has also been quite turbulent. he went through a divorce three years ago and his wife took everything for from him and their 10 years old son died of cancer, so now he justifies his pressure by saying that if I keep the house that shows I'm not committed to the relationship and he's scared he's gonna lose his next child like he lost his first (if i will keep the child and split from him/stay in my house). He suffers with trauma from that and a few other things that happened to him.I mention I have no children. he also does not want to sign a prenup. I do love this man a lot.
Last thing to mention is that his studies are in the south of the country, whereas my job is in Birmingham ( but i live in gloucestershire) and although I work from home I will have to do the occasional trip to the office, and because I suffer with ME( chronic fatigue syndrome) and fibromyalgia, travelling is very hard for me not to mention that moving and pregnancy would have a massive effect on my health also, and he doesn't really believe in this illness anyway. He thinks is all in my head .what do you advise me to do?

don't panic mam think first on every situation, and then decide what to do. If you think patiently then no one is wrong, you can understand the situation of your lover and then you understand he is in tough situation. You loves him alot and he uses you for a money, If you find that he uses you then you can leave him if you love him really then you will be with him and do what is possible.