Advice needed... urgently

[Nlheath]

Hello *

I’ve joined this forum with hope that I can get some sort of advice, whether it be from a personal or professional point of view. This is a really long story so I’ll cut to the chase.

In January, I split with my boyfriend and I went into a deep depression but with the help of my GP managed to get me out of that. I then met someone new in February, whom I considered a FRIEND only as I wasn’t ready for a relationship. I knew him for 6 weeks, we went on walks and to some pubs for lunch. I told him why my boyfriend and I split up, because he didn’t want a baby and I did. He suggested we go away to Ashdown forest to find the Winnie the Pooh corner. I wanted separate rooms, he said he’d get lonely so I suggested single beds, but we ended up with a double bed. At no point did it ever cross my mind that I’d want to sleep with him and should it of, I would of taken precautions. Not only that, but this man didn’t make me feel special, I didn’t feel attracted to him, I didn’t feel particularly comfortable around him. He was literally a friend. That night I had one glass of wine and he poured another but I only had 1 possibly 2 sips of. He kept asking me to join him in the bath but I declined, again didn’t see this as appropriate as I wasn’t attracted to him like that. I don’t remember much after he had his bath except laying down to go to sleep, my arm being tugged on and him saying ‘why are you turning away from him’ then he kissed me but I couldn’t open my eyes and my head felt so heavy I’ve never felt like that in my life. I remember trying to open my eyes and he was on top of me. The next thing is it’s the next morning.

Fast forward a few more weeks and I discovered I was pregnant, much to his disgust he insisted I get an abortion and told me I was selfish and immature if I didn’t. He then kept sending me flowers and harassing me, I had blocked him by this point so he got his mother to turn up at my door and sent my parents letters. He has been interviewed under caution for harassment but as his letters aren’t threatening enough they aren’t charging him with harassment. There is an open investigation into the allegations of sexual assault/rape and I’m waiting to be told when he is going to be interviewed for it. Despite him making it extremely clear he wants nothing to do with the baby and his controlling behaviour towards me from the start, hes got a solicitor to send me a letter today but my main question is - is this letter legitimate? Something doesn’t fit right with it and the part where it says ‘he can take you to his house to meet his family’ sort of freaks me out, surely it is down to me if I want to go with him? I don’t want to be anywhere near him, ever.*

Im sorry this is such a long post but I’ve literally had enough now and I want to run away. I have support but I just don’t feel as though I’m being listened to.*

[jaguarsuk]

I'd have thought a family law solicitor ought to know that the father of a child out of marriage has to be present to be registered on the birth certificate on the day of registration and that you cannot automatically register the father.

I'd telephone the firm and ask to speak to the solicitor in question and verify they sent you that letter, make it clear that you are not telephoning to discuss the content of it and merely to ensure it has actually come from them. It looks like the kind of thing a solicitor would send in the first instance if I'm honest.

Given your explanation of the events I'm sure it's going to be harrowing to hear that if he is the paternal parent he has rights and the things mentioned in that letter are a couple of them. He can further go to court to attempt to get an access arrangement to see your child and conviction may not prevent that or only alter the arrangement slightly.