Caught shoplifting

[Moo.]

Hello, can anyone offer any advise?
I have messed up badly today, there is no excuse other that I’m stupid. I don’t know what came over me but when I did my normal food shop and it came to the till I new there were things in my trolley/bags that I hadn’t paid for. As I was leaving the store I was stopped by 2 security guards who asked to see my receipt, I was taken to a side room where they went through my bags. I became a rabbit in headlights and just said I thought I had paid for it all which I know I shouldn’t have lied but I was so scared. They offered me the chance to buy the unpaid items which I picked a few of and paid for. They explained that I would be given a ban from the store and took my name and address to send the ban letter in the post. They also said that they wanted to call the police but as it takes so long they wouldn’t be doing so, so I was aloud to leave. Very much ashamed!! I am so disappointed in myself, I have young children and would be horrified if they did such a thing, I don’t know what wrong is with me, no excuse though I know that. Now that I am home I am beyond terrified that they will change there mind upon review and send the police round? What is the chances of this happening? What will happen to me?

[des8]

The chances of the police visiting are vanishingly small.

What you will probably receive is a letter from so called "civil" recovery firm
They are not civil, but will be asking you to pay some extotionate amount for dreamt up costs.
They are not entitled to anything, so ignore all their legal jargon and ignore that letter (and subsequent letters).
Do not respond to them at all.
Eventually they stop.

If their letters concern you, report back here so we can reassure you

[Moo.]

Thank you. They said that the way I had my bags in the trolley look suspicious as they are all bundled up (I take bags for life so pop them in the end of the trolley) and said they may look back to see if they could spot similar patterns from previous trips so I’m now concerned that they will see I do the same with my bags each week and say I’ve done it before? I’ve never been more worried than I am now and hate myself for even contemplating what I did today and I no it’s my error to live with I just don’t know what to do?

[des8]

The chances of them having a look back is very unlikely.
They will need to trawl through hours and hours of old CCTV records (which will probably only be kept for a month) in the off chance that they will spot you going round the store with bags in a trolley. A mind numbing expensive in time exercise for nothing, as even if they found such footage it would prove nothing except you were in the store.

Try and calm down and put the incident in perspective.
The attempt was hardly the crime of the century, and was unsuccessful anyway.
The store lost nothing.
You have been given a fright and banned from the store which might make your shopping expeditions a bit more inconvenient.

[atticus]

If you have in fact done this before, you need to change your behaviour because a repeat of this with the same store could be very much more serious. If you thnk you might do this again, speak to your GP and seek help.

[Moo.]

I have been in contact with my GP. I think I need to talk to someone. I have never felt shame and disgust like this, I think I just dug myself into a hole that I couldn’t get out of and for what reason? Why did I do this? A cry for help maybe, wanting to get caught, to make sure my kids don’t go without, I have no answer other than I have been very stupid but this is there is no excuse for my behaviour. Is there anything I can do? A letter of apology, a donation to the store?
I’m also concerned that 1 of the security guards will want to take it further. When he was talking to me I just froze and said nothing apart from ok, I didn’t know what to do and I new that nothing I said would justify my stupidity. He seemed to get more wound up because I didn’t say anything so I’m now concerned I have put an even bigger pin on my head and police will come at a later date. Should I go to the police before it gets that far? What do I do? My god have I learned my lesson that nothing in this world is worth messing with the law, I’m terrified to be at home but I can’t go out.

[des8]

Oh dear, you have got it bad.

Nothing more is going to happen.
The store lost nothing and I certainly wouldn't stir things up by making an apology or donation.
If you feel a need to give money away, spend it on your children.
Ignore any letters from civil recovery firms, and do not go to the police.
The police are not going to be involved and there is no point rushing in and "confessing".

What you need to do is put the incident behind you and concentrate on your children and continue with your life normally.
I know that is easy for me to say but hopefully your GP will be able to help you put the matter in perspective.

[Moo.]

Thank you DES8. I appreciate your time. I just can’t shake it, I feel disgusted. I can’t get this security guard out my head, he got really funny and didn’t believe that the name and address I gave were correct, they were. So I just feel like I was constantly winding him up, he kept saying ‘we are friends, you can tell me the truth, we will go easier in you if your honest, I’m here to help you etc etc’ and I don’t know what he meant when he said they will go easier on me when they didn’t call the police there and then. If they find old cctv from last week, week before etc and think it’s suspicious can they use that to open a new case with the police? I feel like I annoyed him that much that he would do it. I’ve dug out any old receipt I could find but I don’t have them all to prove what I bought so it’s there view on the cctv against my word. I’m sorry I’m going on and asking questions which probably sound so pointless I’m just really fretting.
Regarding the letters I may get can they take me to court if I don’t pay what they ask?

[des8]

Forget about that security guard, he probably thinks he is a member of the Gestapo and can say anything he wants.
What a plonker saying you are friends and he'll go easier on you.
He can't actually do anything anyway as he is a very minor cog in the machine, so now forget about him.
There is no way anyone is going to trawl through hours of CCTV just to see if you appear on it, and even if you are on it there is no way odd pictures of you here and there in the store prove anything other than your presence.

When and if you receive letters which you ignore, there is no chance of you being sued for their imaginative losses.
A firm did try it a few years back, and lost heavily.
The judge wasn't having any of it, and told them they had no claim in law
All you need to do is ignore their letters

[Moo.]

I completely get he was just doing his job, that’s what he is paid too do. He told me he was chief of security and they had a hub up in Scotland watching everyone in the store and it was them that had flagged me up. Would they keep hold of cctv for long periods? He also said that they would go easier on me if I just admitted it but I was too stunned to say anything so stayed silent, I’m worried about what he meant if they didn’t call the police there and then.

DES8 you are a gem and really am grateful to you for taking the time to reply to all my questions. Sorry if I sound like a broken record.

[Moo.]

Also he said they can tell exactly when I was in the store due to me Clubcard being used so can pinpoint exact times and days in cctv and what it was I purchased.

[DE DOGS]

Moo. I have a family member who is employed as a security guard for one of the largest food stores, he has told me that there is no follow-up, they/he was wrong in the way you were treated, there is no Police follow up, once you pay for any goods you have in your possession that's it, a warning is given, as advised do not reply to civil letters, just find another store.

[des8]

Ditto as DE DOGS

Generally CCTV records are only kept for a month.(any longer and storage becomes a problem due to the sheer quantity)
UK GDPR allow records to be kept for ‘as long as necessary' and a guide suggests one week
That security man was trying to scare you!
Even if they know when you were in the store it will take an inordinate amount of time trawling through the records to find you and then see if you acted suspiciously and be able to follow your movements the whole time you were in the store..... have never heard of it happening!

[Moo.]

Thank you both. Does anyone what a banning letter usually says? Also what will happen with my picture, they didn’t take one (not with my knowledge anyway) but I’m guessing will use a cctv still? Will it be available for all staff members to see (I know someone that works there and am dreading them finding out).
I had a police officer turn up at my door this afternoon and it made physically sick, luckily it was nothing too do with me, there was a road accident earlier today down the road and they want to see if I had seen anything but my god it completely made me shake to the core.
Again thank you for your advice.

[atticus]

The likelihood is that a banning letter will inform you that you are banned from entering certain premises, either indefinitely or for a specified period of time.